


If You Play With Fire Your Bound To Get Burnt

by BlakesRus



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Best Friends, Chapter 15 / 16 is a game changer, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Clarke Griffin & Roan Friendship, F/M, Feedback appreicated, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gina is a bitch sorry not sorry, Hostage Situations, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Bellamy, Jealous Clarke, Kidnapping, Love, Minor Bellamy Blake/Gina Martin, Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Minor Finn Collins/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin are Best Friends, Octavia Blake Ships It, Other, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, References to Depression, Slow Build, Slow Burn, bestfriends to lovers, choices to be made, friends to bestfriends, kiss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-02-14 20:31:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 54,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13015569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlakesRus/pseuds/BlakesRus
Summary: She felt the tears beginning to brim as she rushed over to the couch, shaky hands grabbing her belongings that had been carelessly scattered over it amidst their moment.Moment.Could she even call it that? A tiny moment in time where her lips were on his lips and she tasted the reminiscence of the hot chocolate they'd shared on the way home.But thinking of it; of that perfect moment left a bittersweet memory in her head, one she begged so mercifully to forget.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning 
> 
> \- There is mention of attempted rape

Clarke had known the Blake’s for as long as she could talk, which in her case was straight from the womb.

Octavia and Clarke were the same age, best friends by the time they were 4. Nothing had ever changed.

In their 17 years of being on this earth nothing had changed, _not really_.

Throughout the years of them growing up together there was always a third person to make their little group whole; Octavia’s older brother Bellamy.

He was 2 years older than the girls, he took them to their dance lessons, babysitting them when his Mom worked overnight shifts, baking them cookies and letting them stay up late in the living room watching films.

He built forts with them out on the decking and they’d watch the stars above the lake until they'd fall asleep and then he'd carry them both up to bed tucking them in - as far as older brothers go Bellamy was the _best_.

The older he got, the more popular he got at school, he was on the football team, he had great grades and everybody and anybody wanted to be friends with Bellamy.

Slowly, he started to distance himself from his sister and her best friend.

Instead swapping movies night for parties, drinking, sleeping around; _**alot**_.

He'd always tell the girls they couldn't come along with him because they weren't old enough, he didn't go to places where his sister and her friend should be  _seen_.

Nevertheless, he loved his sister a great deal and he always made effort to spend time with her _and_ Clarke.

Clarke always felt special whenever Bellamy would pass her in the corridor and take the time out to ruffle her hair, grinning that notorious Blake smile.

“Hey princess“.

Or the times he’d walk with her because their classes were the same way and older girls would shoot jealous daggers into the back of Clarke's head.

You could say maybe, _only maybe_ , she had a ~~big fuck off~~   _tiny_ crush on Bellamy.

It was the week before the summer break and as usual Clarke was sat on Octavia’s messy bedroom floor sketching away at one of her pieces for class.

Octavia lay sprawled out on her bed, painting her nails whilst humming enthusiastically to the music that played in the background.

“So Griffin, how was your date with Finn?“ Octavia pried.

Clarke drew her eyes away from her work.

“Good O.. it was nice. He’s nice“ she tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear.

“He’s nice? Is that all? isn’t he exciting? doesn’t he make you get butterflies or whatever shit your supposed to feel when your in love“ Octavia questioned, cocked eyebrow and all.

Clarke dropped her pencil and took up the rest of the space next to Octavia on her bed.

“I do like him, a lot it's just...“ Clarke started to pick at her nails.

Sensing the elephant in the room Octavia cautiously grabbed Clarke’s hands stilling her movements

“But he’s not Bellamy?”.

Clarke couldn’t bring her eyes to meet Octavia’s, instead she focused on a pattern on her duvet.

Octavia has known for sometime of Clarke’s _crush_ for her older brother.

She’d been seeing Finn for 6 months and she did really _really_ like him, but then Bellamy would just happen to bump into her or tag her in something on Facebook and all the feelings she thought were buried would come gushing back.

But she kept reminding herself it was just some stupid crush and she **_would_** grow out of it.

“Clarke, I get it. I do. But Bellamy doesn’t... he isn't good enough for you, he doesn't do relationship's or anything real he's just- he's not that type of guy".

When Clarke met Octavia’s gaze, she nodded slowly.

She understood, O was just trying to protect her. Bellamy was known around their small town, for _breaking_ girls hearts.

It wasn't that he wasn't nice to people, because he was but girls didn't appreciate being a one time thing, they wanted _more._

But if they knew Bellamy, they'd know he'd never give them more.

“I know O, I have Finn and he’s nice to me, he treats me well and one day, god one day I won't feel like this“.

She gave Octavia a reassuring smile, undecided on who exactly she was trying to convince, Octavia or herself.

Clarke _did_ like Finn, but Finn didn't make her feel the way Bellamy does.

She loves Finn.

_But he just isn't Bellamy._

Right on cue the front door slammed and the older Blake’s footsteps echoed through the house as he reached Octavia’s room.

He’d just come from football practise and his curls were messy and wet whilst his annoyingly big muscles continuously flexed as he lent on the doorway, observing the two of them.

Clarke had to hold back a groan, instead covering it with a cough as she peeled her eyes off his sweaty demure and back to the pattern on the duvet cover.

“Hey O.. Princess“ he winked confidently before walking over to admire Clarke’s art pieces that were scattered on the floor.

“Shit Clarke these are amazing“ his eyebrows raising in surprise.

Clarke cocked her head to the side "Don't sound _so_ surprised asshole" she quipped, emphasising on the asshole part enough for him to roll his eyes.

Clarke felt Octavia shift uncomfortably next to her, her back and forth with Bellamy quickly died down, she figured it was her que to leave.

She mumbled a quick “Bye O“ before making an excuse that she had to go home early to help her Mom with something.

Bellamy didn’t seem suspicious of this and told Octavia he’d show Clarke out.

He ran a hand through his curls, opening the door and Clarke couldn't help but admire the way his shoulder muscles moved under the fabric of his t shirt that highlighted every good angle of him.

His voice startled her “I meant what I said Clarke, your drawings are good. You should do something with them”.

His gaze lingered on her a beat to long and Clarke knew if she stayed around him any longer she _might_ just crumble.

She disregarded his compliment, in the hope it would annoy him “Bye Bellamy, thanks for showing me out".

Clarke walked towards her house, clutching her book tightly against her chest to try and contain the surge of butterflies bouncing off the walls of her stomach.

No, she didn't _want_ Bellamy Blake.

She had _Finn_.

But fuck, she wanted _Bellamy Blake_.

* * *

Finn decided to throw a party over at his Mom's house to celebrate the beginning of Summer and as usual Clarke tagged along with the Blake’s, but when she swung open the front passenger door of Bellamy’s truck a girl was already sitting there.

Clarke took a step back; she was caught completely off guard. 

There was a _girl_ in Bellamy's car. 

“Hey, I’m Gina“.

She was fucking beautiful, even her voice sounded angelic and Clarke suddenly felt very self conscious.

"uh" was all she could manage to conjure, she mentally slapped herself - this was not fucking happening.

There was a girl, in Bellamy's car, in the front seat, in her _seat_.

“Gina this is Clarke, Clarke this is Gina. Hey you don’t mind riding in the back do you?“ Bellamy's head appeared over Gina’s shoulder.

Clarke could smell his aftershave, it’s the one he always saved for _special occasions_.

A party at Finns was hardly a special occasion especially for Bellamy as he disliked Finn with a passion, which he loved to remind Clarke every time she’d ever bring Finn up.

Realising she’d have to sit in the back Clarke's heartbeat began to quicken.

Ever since her dad died in a car accident when she was 12 Clarke avoided sitting in the back of a car because it stirred up to many painful memories.

She'd been in the back of a car a couple of times, but mostly when she's blind drunk and isn't aware of her surroundings or the one time she got concussion and she lay stretched out across the back seats.

Her bottom lip tremored so lightly that unless you were staring you wouldn't notice, she took a breath; this was okay, she was going to be _okay_.

Octavia's hand reached over to Clarke's as soon as she buckled herself in.

”Hey" she whispered.

Octavia knew why Clarke always had shot gun in the front, in fact everybody knew.

Including _Bellamy_.

“My brothers an ass and I’m so sorry “ Octavia whispered discreetly into her hair.

Clarke offered Octavia a reassuring smile "It's fine" she mumbled, but fuck it was far from fine.

This wasn't okay, she wasn't okay. 

Bellamy and Gina sat laughing and joking, the sound making Clarke's body numb.

When Gina belly laughed, Clarke's throat became tight; she'd belly laughed just like that before... before a reckless bastard jumped a red light and smashed into the driver's side; her Dad's side.

Clarke's fingers dug into the skin on her elbow; she was afraid she was going to draw blood, but luckily Finn's house was only a short drive, and Clarke buckled out of the car before Bellamy had finished parking, and ran to the side of Finns house.

Before she could stop herself she began to throw up, she lent against the wall wiping the trails of sick off her chin, feeling embarrassed and insecure.

“Drinking already Griffin?".

Clarke let out a muffled yelp, before turning around to face Finn; who was leaning against the fence observing her.

He greeted her with a warm comforting hug, making the ache in her stomach slowly melt away.

“Yeah, something like that” she mumbled into his neck, not wanting to dampen the mood.

His eyes surveyed her body, she’d decided to make an effort for tonight because Bellamy was coming.

But Bellamy was to busy making heart eyes at Gina to even notice any changes in Clarke’s appearance.

She felt so stupid, to think for even one second Bellamy would ever look at her as more than Octavia’s best friend. 

She looked at Finn and her heart grew heavy, she became consumed with guilt knowing that if she ever made any effort it should be to impress Finn - her boyfriend not her best friends big brother.

She took Finns hand willingly and followed him round to the backyard, a couple of their other friends were already there, each of them waving across to her demanding she was on their team for beer pong, Clarke chuckled as she felt herself easing back to normality.

She scanned the garden to try and find Octavia to apologise for running out of the car with no warning, but it didn’t take long for her eyes to land on the back of Octavia's head, she was perched near Atom again, pining.

She went to walk over to save her best friend from herself but Finn pulled her into the house, handing her a drink which he then proceeded to knock against his own.

"Here's to Summer Griffin“ .

A few hours had passed and Clarke was drunk, drinking away the anxiety she’d had from the car journey.

She drank and danced hoping to forget about Gina and Bellamy making out on the stairs, trying to forget that Octavia had completely ditched her to hang with Atom.

Trying to forget that she was _completely and utterly on her own in a place full of people she knew._

Eventually, her legs grew tired and her cup needed a refill so she stumbled into the kitchen where she barged into someone near the sink.

“I think you need to slow down princess“ Bellamy suggested.

One hand gripped her wrist to keep her steady whilst the other discarded her empty cup into the trash.

She sloppily grinned back at him, her smile not quite reaching her eyes which he sensed immediately.

“What’s wrong? You only drink a lot if your upset“ his eyes quizzing hers.

Clarke went to speak, to scold him for earlier about the whole car incident but before she could Gina appeared.

“They want us to play beer pong, your on  _my_ team Blake“ Gina's hand pulled his wrist forcefully.

He sent an apologetic smile Clarke's way as he followed Gina through the crowd, but Clarke only stared blankly back at him in return.

The skin around her wrist felt bare without his touch and her heart sank as she found herself yet again stood alone.

Bellamy was many things but he never fucked off when he knew you were upset.

Clarke felt unsure of what to do, so she walked upstairs to find a quite place to sit.

She found Finns room and collapsed onto his bed with a thud burying her face amongst the sheets, feeling warmth from the familiar cologne Finn used. 

Clarke was to busy smelling the bedding to notice that Finn had followed her in; shutting the door abruptly behind him.

He sat next to her, fingers intertwined in her hair “your beautiful“ he whispered.

She rolled over onto her back; his room was dim but she was close enough to make out his features that had originally drawn her to him.

His hand began to creep up her leg, resting on the hem of her skirt which had risen dangerously high due to the position she was laying in.

“This will be amazing“ his words were barely audible against the vibrations of the music downstairs.

“God... Clarke your such a tease” he groaned in between the kisses he began to plant along her shoulder and neck.

His hand snaked up her skirt, rubbing vigorously in between her thighs, his other hand holding her jaw firmly to still her head, as he sucked on the palest part of her skin just below her jaw. 

Clarke gulped it was like her mouth moved but no sound came out.

She tried to shake him off but his body felt heavy, unmovable.

“No F..Finn“ she muttered.

But Finn ignored her, withdrawing his hands from off her body as he started to undress himself.

Clarke’s head was spinning as she tried to lift herself up, to tell him maybe another day.

But she couldn’t get up, she couldn’t move and she felt powerless.

Maybe he didn’t hear me the first time she wondered.

 _She_ _hoped_.

Finn continued to undress himself and Clarke finally found her voice.  “Finn I don’t want to”.

He shrugged his shoulders slightly, disregarding her comment “but you love me don’t you Clarke? This is what people do when their in love“.

He hovered above her, his body pressed against hers and she felt an overwhelming sense of dread.

His hands paused over her skirt, Clarke heard the fabric tear as he ripped it off forcefully. 

Clarke’s eyes widened - this wasn’t fucking happening. 

“Finn stop it“ Clarke raised her arm slightly to get him to back off but he grabbed it, she winced as his grasp tightened.

“Clarke your my girlfriend this is what people do".

She spluttered not really saying any words as her mind reached the verdict this was going to happen no matter what she said.

As Finn went to discard of her pants his door swung open, Clarke becoming blinded by the light coming from the hall way.

“Get the fuck away from her“ a voice ordered.

Clarke saw a shadow grab Finn and throw him to the floor before hastily lifting Clarke into his arms.

“Fuck Fuck, are you okay did her hurt you?!“.

Her eyes were barely open but she could make out the shadows face. It was one of Bellamy’s friends, Lincoln she thought his name was. 

“Are you okay?” Lincoln pressed.

But he never got a response, she passed out.

Downstairs, Bellamy was still playing beer pong against Monty and Harper.

So far he’d only had to drink one shot, it was Monty's go and he let his eyes wonder around the room trying to find Octavia and Clarke.

He spotted Octavia perched next to some kid the same age as Bellamy. He rolled his eyes, excusing himself from the game.

“Atom hadn’t you better go and find someone your own age?“ Bellamy suggested.

It was a warning that made Atom make a swift exit, not even _daring_ to acknowledge Octavia as he did so. 

Bellamy turned to face his sister who was now scowling at him “O have you seen Clarke?”.

Octavia shrugged her shoulders, looking around the room “she’s probably with Finn somewhere, I’ll go and find her and tell her it’s time to go seen as you've spoilt my fun“ she huffed, rolling her eyes as she made her way through the crowd.

“Hey“ Gina’s hand squeezed his shoulder, before pulling him over to sit down.

“I think I really like you Blake” she confessed before putting her hand over her mouth to stop herself from admitting anything else.

Bellamy’s lips turned upright into a smug smile “oh... really?”.

She rolled her eyes, taking his face in her hands and kissing him but before Bellamy had a chance to react properly, Octavia shouted “It’s Clarke, please Bell come“.

His chest became tight as he took in the site of his sister shaken to the bone, tears in her eyes.

He followed Octavia outside to where an array of blonde curls lay in the arms of Lincoln.

Bellamy's eyes flickered to Clarke’s exposed legs, his first instinct was to shrug his football jersey off and cover her legs with it, to shield her from the wondering eyes of people in the yard.

When her eyes didn't flutter open, he frowned, but when he noticed the red mark that was a stark contrast to her pale skin on her neck, his concern grew.

“what the hell happened? Why is she half naked outside “ Bellamy snapped in a hushed tone.

Trying his best to _not_  to draw any more attention to Clarke because he knew how much she _hated_ being the topic of other peoples conversations.

Lincoln told the version of events of what he’d overheard as he stood outside the room waiting for the bathroom to be free, with every new detail Bellamy began to loose his cool more and more. 

“Did he-“ Octavia paused “Did he _do_ anything to her?”.

Bellamy shot her a threatening look but he knew deep down he was thinking the same thing. 

“I don’t... I don’t know” The defeat in Lincolns voice noticeable.

“If that bastard laid a fucking finger on her I’ll kill him, I swear I’ll kill him” Bellamy promised. 

Only a few minutes later did Finn appear with a girl draped over his arm.

Octavia spotted him first, she bolted towards him.

“What the fuck did you do- you fucking bastard “ Octavia shouted.

“Hey, why the fuck are you shouting at my boyfriend?!” The unidentified girl snapped, positioning herself between Octavia and Finn.

”Boyfriend?” Octavia looked from Finn to the girl, her mind trying to process it all.

Her _boyfriend_. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, she said no and what you just carried on” Bellamy spluttered, angry tears forming in the corner of his eyes as he pushed past Octavia and the girl. 

Raven’s expression soon turned sour as she began to piece things together, her gaze flickering from Clarke's unconscious to Finn a couple of times.

“Finn... what the fuck“ was all she could manage to mutter before she took off round the side of the house.

“No... Raven wait it’s not what it looks like” Finn groaned, attempting to follow her but not before he was intercepted by the Blake’s.

Bellamy’s arm swung first hitting Finns nose, Octavia joined in only a beat behind her brother as her fist landed perfectly on his lip.

Bellamy became more and more worked up, continuing to hit Finn until Octavia pulled him back.

“Bell stop” she said breathless “He’s not worth getting into trouble for”.

Bellamy stared down at his bruising knuckles and Octavia's bloody one. She was right, he _really_ wasn't worth it.

“She fucking trusted you, she let you in, you tried to.. you “ Octavia spat.

Finn remained mute, eventually stalking off once he'd regained his balance, trying to nurse his swollen face and split lip.

“She needs to go to hospital I’m worried about her“ Lincoln called out, gaining the attention of the siblings.

Bellamy nodded as he gently scooped Clarke into his arms, whispering things into her hair.

Octavia and Lincoln followed him hastily into his truck.

“do you think she’s going to be okay?“ murmured Octavia as she stared out of the window and not at her best friend who lay out cold on the backseat.

When she got no response, she reached out clasping Clarke's hand with her own.

"Please be okay Clarke" she pleaded "please".

* * *

A few hours later Clarke was hooked up to several machines having the toxins flushed out of her system by an IV drip.

She was going to be okay, the Doctors blamed the alcohol but the others knew the real reason her body had freaked out and shut down.

Lincoln was still there, deciding to stay with the Blake’s because after all he had saved Clarke. He wanted to make sure she was okay.

“I’m going to go on a coffee run, you guys want anything?“ Lincoln asked.

Octavia shook her head muttering a simple "No thanks".

As he made his way out Bellamy spoke up.

"Hey, I forgot to say it earlier but thank you. Thank you for saving Clarke. I-" Bellamy paused, but Lincoln shrugged his gratitude off.

"No need to say thanks Blake, I'm sure anyone would of done the same thing. I just hope she's okay".

The door had been closed for less than a second before Octavia piped up.

“if you hadn’t forgot about Clarke and her feelings she wouldn’t be here right now“.

The words took Bellamy by surprise, he looked up to meet Octavia’s stone glare.

“What are you talking about O?! This isn’t my fault, this is Finns“ He snapped through gritted teeth. 

“You were so caught up with Gina, you forgot Clarke always rides shot gun.. because of her dad.. that’s why she was upset, why she got drunk in the first place. If she didn’t drink so much.. maybe Finn wouldn’t of... “ Octavia trailed off, she couldn’t bring herself to say anymore, her gaze dropping to the floor.

Bellamy’s jaw twitched, his foot tapping aggressively on the floor as he replayed the whole night in his head, he’d known Clarke since she was two years old.

Two  _fucking_ years old he knew she always rode shotgun and more importantly _why_.

Octavia was right, but he’d never tell her that.

He remembers asking her what was wrong and then it dawned on him that he didn’t even stick around long enough to find out what was wrong.

He clenched his eyes shut trying to blur out the image of Clarke lying half naked in Lincoln's arms.

He looked over at Clarke, she looked so nice when she wasn’t scowling at him. 

She was beautiful.

The thought of knowing he’d caused her to be upset made him feel a way he’d never felt before.

The thought of Lincoln not saving Clarke when he did knocked Bellamy sick.

“Don’t you dare blame this on me!” he gestured angrily towards a sleeping Clarke. 

“Yeah, I was distracted tonight... is that so bad? Huh?” He pressed.

Octavia didn’t look up from the floor so he continued.

”I like Gina O and I... I love Clarke you know that and I’m sorry I didn’t put her first okay. But this... what Finn- what Finn did wasn’t my fault so don’t fucking say that” his voice cracked towards the end.

He took a much needed breath to compose himself.

“Bell I didn’t mean I-“ Octavia began to argue.

But Bellamy held his hand up defensively, dismissing whatever Octavia had to say because the damage had already been done. 

He grabbed his jacket off the chair placing it over Clarke’s chest.

She _always_ looked good wearing his clothes.

Placing a gentle kiss to her forehead Bellamy brushed the hair out of her eyes, hesitating for a few seconds in the hope she might stir. 

But when he stared down at her sleeping face, the hope he'd found seemingly left the room and much like the hope, he left too.

He knew he should stay, sit next to her until she wakes up so he could take her home but his anger took over him, after what Octavia had said he couldn’t bare to be around her.

He arrived back at Finns, beckoning Gina over to him like he was supposed to do, because people like him couldn't have people like Clarke.

Instead people like him only  _hurt_ people like Clarke, he knew he’d fucked up tonight and although he didn’t do what Finn had, he felt just as, if not more, guilty.

“Is your sisters friend okay?“ Gina asked pulling him into a hug.

 _she’s my friend too_ the unspoken words lingering on the tip of his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first ever fic, so any feedback would be appreciated.
> 
> I've been writing it for awhile and thought it was time to start uploading!!


	2. Chapter 2

Octavia lay slumped on the chair next to Clarke's bed, she’d stayed over night by her side hating the thought of her best friend waking up in the hospital alone.

Octavia Spent the majority of her time rehearsing how to broach the subject with Clarke when she finally came around. Should she tell her about Finn's other girlfriend?

Or maybe even start by asking what happened with Finn?

She didn’t want to push Clarke, but Octavia doesn't really have a filter, she's upfront, blunt and honest and when she looks over at her best friend in a hospital bed she knows this time, it isn’t what Clarke needs.

She needs Bellamy, someone gentle, kind and warm and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't filled with jealously knowing that Clarke needed _Bellamy_ this time and not _her_.

Octavia doesn't have much time to figure anything else out as a splutter of breath and the rapid beeps sounding from the machines next to her bought her back to reality.

Clarke's eyes wearily started to open but the light in the room proved to much for her.

Her head pounded, her body felt weak. She went to speak but couldn't find the energy to say anything, as her eyes slowly adjusted to her surroundings she realised all to soon where she was.

"Hey Griffin, it's about time you woke up to give me some company, all the hot doctors have gone home" Octavia groaned, leaning over to greet Clarke with a hug.

Clarke took in Octavia's unusually messy, tired appearance. She'd tried to make Clarke smile but she could read Octavia like a book, something was off.

She rested her head back onto the pillows to try and ease the throbbing in her head whilst trying to piece together the events that had led her to this very moment.

The ride over with Octavia, Gina and Bellamy. 

_Bellamy._

Her hands grasped automatically onto his jacket, "Where's Bellamy?".

Octavia looked at Clarke with her doe like eyes.

"He had to go and get Gina he left her at Finn's, I'm guessing he took her home and crashed out".

Clarke's heart started to sink, she felt naive to think for one second that he might actually care for her as much as she did for him.

Octavia clasped her hand over Clarke's.

"I'm here, and always remember _I'm_ the better Blake.. " she forced a smile hoping to convince Clarke that everything is okay. 

"What am I doing here O, I can't remember what happened last night" Clarke sighed, longing to understand Octavia's on edge behaviour.

Octavia's eyes darted to Clarke's, "you don't remember anything, anything at all?".

Octavia’s panicked expression clarified she knew something Clarke didn't but before she had a chance to interrogate Octavia about what she was hiding, her Mom entered the room.

"Clarke, thank god your okay" Abby breathed a sigh of relief as she squeezed her daughter tight.

”Hopefully this will teach you to drink more sensibly" Abby scolded.

"Octavia, thank you for staying with her overnight, I really appreciate it. I would of been here myself, but surgery on a patient took longer than I anticipated" Abby squeezed Octavia's shoulder in thanks. 

"No problem, she's my best friend. There's nowhere else I'd be.. I'm um going to give you some privacy to get changed and grab your things, I'll wait for you in reception". Octavia walked out the room quickly, too quickly for Clarke's liking. 

* * *

After Abby had dropped them both off at Octavia's, Clarke was quick to question Octavia.

"What happened O? My Mom said I was taken in because I passed out because I had to much to drink, but you seem...  weird".

Octavia bit her bottom lip which was a common mannerism Octavia used when she felt uncomfortable, she opened her mouth to speak but she'd hesitated a moment too long.

"What did I do.. did I break one of Finn's Mom’s ornaments or something" Clarke was laughing now, it had to be something like that.

“Actually where is Finn? Did he have to clean his house before his Mom came home?".

Clarke's very casual behaviour whilst talking about Finn made Octavia very aware that she really didn't remember _anything_ from last night.

How was she supposed to tell Clarke her boy - **ex boyfriend** is a piece of shit.

"Look Clarke, there's something I need to tell you Finn-" Octavia was cut off by the sound of pounding on her front door, Clarke motioned for Octavia to answer it and she did so reluctantly.

Octavia opened it to reveal Millers dad. She ushered him into the front room, nodding at Clarke who was standing in the kitchen before closing the door behind her.

“Octavia, where’s Bellamy. I need to speak to him, Finn Collin's Mom has made some accusations about Bellamy beating him up” Officer Miller declared as he flicked through the pages in his note pad.

"He's not here, he stayed at a friends last night” Octavia answered confidently, she wasn’t telling the truth but she wasn't exactly lying either.

Officer Miller frowned "Look Octavia, I need to question him he can't beat a kid two years younger than him up and not think he won't be questioned about it" his tone fleeting between friendly and serious.

"Bellamy hurt someone? Who?" Clarke appeared from behind the door inquisitively.

"Clarke.. I didn't realise you were here. How are you?" Miller's Dad smiled warmly.

"I'm good thank you Officer Miller, just very tired. What were you saying about Bellamy?" Clarke pressed, not falling for his tactic to distract her.

Octavia took a sharp intake of breathe “of all the time and fucking places it had to happen now“ she muttered.

And as if the universe couldn’t hate Octavia anymore, her brother decided to walk through the front door at that very moment.

“Hey O.. Mr Miller.. Clarke” Bellamy was hesitant as he took in the sight in front of him.

He glanced to the left, looking at Clarke.

The sight of her alive and well made his step falter,  a sense of relief washing over him - _the princess is okay_.

“Bellamy, I’m sorry I’m not coming round on a more positive matter. It’s about the Collins kid, his Mom wants to press charges” Office Miller informed.

At the mention of Finn Clarke’s eyes widened.

“Bellamy.. what the fu- you beat up Finn?!” She stormed over towards him.

“What do you want me to say Clarke” His brown eyes looking down at her.

“Why would you beat my boyfriend up. Look I know you don’t like him Bellamy, but I do. Why would you try and ruin that for me” Clarke snapped, her finger prodding into his chest.

Bellamy’s nostrils flared of course she’d be dumb enough to stay with him after everything he’s fucking done.

“Wow princess, this is bizarre even for you” He spat, refraining himself from lashing out at the nearest wall.

“What the hell is your problem, you can’t go around beating people up especially _my_ boyfriend” Clarke warned.

“I’m telling you Clarke, he’ll do it again” Bellamy's voice softening, trying to reason with her.

“What are you talking about?! Finn hasn’t done anything wrong“ Clarke frowned.

“Clarke, you can’t be serious“ Bellamy looked wounded, defeated almost.

“You honestly can’t believe what he did was okay? I wouldn’t of hurt him unless he’d hurt yo-“

“Bellamy stop" Octavia shouted, her voice pulling Clarke and Bellamy's bodies away from one another.

"She doesn’t.. she doesn’t remember“ Octavia admitted.

“Know what?! What the hell don’t I know, expect for the fact Bellamy’s a complete Neanderthal” Clarke huffed, Bellamy and Octavia shared a knowing look.

Millers Dad cleared his throat “Look Bellamy, I can come by later when it’s less... tense “.

Clarke waited until Miller's Dad had left before speaking up.

”I swear to god if you don’t tell me what’s going on I. I-“.

“He tried to take advantage of you Clarke and he also has a secret girlfriend he’s been dating for like 4 fucking years” he refused to look at her, as he delivered the painful home truths.

“I’m so sorry Clarke” he mumbled a second after. 

“He.. He what” the look of dread hit Clarke like a slap in the face.

She collected herself enough to look over at Octavia who rushed over wrapping her arms around Clarke, signalling for Bellamy to leave them alone for awhile.  
  
“Clarke I’m so sorry, for all of it. But please don’t be mad at Bellamy, I punched Finn to”.

“I hope you punched him first “ Clarke smiled hesitantly.

“He didn’t.. he didn’t hurt me did he? Finn I mean” she gulped.

Octavia shook her head, she was uncertain but she didn’t want to burden Clarke with unanswerable questions.

Bellamy walked back in an hour or so later with two duvets and two tubs of ice cream sandwiching himself in between the two girls.

He found Clarke’s favourite film on TV and flicked it on, Octavia was grateful for his presence.

Bellamy tried his best to avoid Clarke’s gaze, but in the end he gave in sneaking a glance at her, he jumped as she turned her head at the same time.

“Bellamy, I’m sorry for what I said earlier... I um I hope you know I appreciate what you did for me” her voice was low, muffled as she squeezed his arm in gratitude.

He smiled warmly at her “I’d do anything for you Clarke”. 

The vulnerability in his voice made her shiver.

“Your my family, _always_ ” he reminded her.

Clarke rested her head against his shoulder, his head automatically leaning to the side nuzzling into hers. 

The credits began to roll on the TV screen and against his will Bellamy rose up from in between the girls, grabbing his jacket off the side and his keys.

“I’m going to see Gina, I’ll be home later”.

Clarke already missed the feeling of his skin on hers, feeling embarrassed of the level of jealousy that was brewing inside of her at the thought of Bellamy’s skin on Gina’s. 

“Okay don’t be late back” Octavia raised her eyebrow playfully.

He grinned back "Sure thing Mom" saluting the girls before slamming the door a little too hard on his way out.

"He's such a nerd" Octavia rolled her eyes.

"But he's a cute nerd O " Clarke quipped back, laughing as Octavia shoved her off the sofa.

"Is Gina his girlfriend?” Clarke asked.

The odds of Bellamy having a girlfriend are a million to none, but he never normally sees the same girl more than once.

Octavia shrugged “Honestly, I have no idea.. I doubt it though“.

Clarke felt a stab of jealously hit her, the thought of Bellamy having a girlfriend is something she’s never had to contend with before.

She settled in next to Octavia, as they started watching some shitty reality show that they both loved.

* * *

 That night Clarke lay next to a fidgeting Octavia. No longer being able to put up with it, she turned on her side casting a glare over Octavia. 

"Will you _please_ stop moving" Clarke pleaded. 

"Sorry, it's just" Octavia sighed "Clarke, I need you to know that Bellamy was so worried about you, he even beat Finn up because he tried to hurt you, he does care about you. I swear. It was my fault he wasn't there when you woke up" She looked down at her hands. 

"We argued and he stormed out. I'm sorry" Octavia apologised, placing her hand on Clarke's arm, lightly squeezing it.

"He does care Clarke" Octavia assured her.

Clarke smiled back warmly, "I know, Goodnight O”.

"Night Clarke"

Octavia’s breaths eventually evened out, she was fast asleep.

Clarke on the other hand was wide awake, not remembering what had happened the night before was bothering her. 

Sighing, she made her way into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of milk.

“Couldn’t sleep either huh” Bellamy’s deep voice caused her to jump, dropping her glass.

“Shit sorry, sorry” he appeared from the dim light table, bending down to help Clarke pick up the shattered pieces of glass.

Tiny spots of blood dripped onto the floor, Clarke looked up to notice the cut on Bellamy’s palm.

“Here”.

She passed him a cold compress, her hand lingered over his as she applied the much needed pressure.

“Thanks.. I didn’t mean to scare you“ he laughed.

Clarke stood close to him, their bodies pressed together as she started to bandage his hand up.

Bellamy's heart hammered against his chest, they hadn't been this close in a long time.

“I know, I didn’t mean for you to cut your hand either" she smiled, as Bellamy studied her face.

“All done, nearly as good as knew “ Clarke looked up to meet Bellamy’s eyes, they were really close and it threw her off course.

Clarke’s gaze flickered to his lips them back to his eyes. Clarke pulled back occupying herself by putting the first aid kit back in the cupboards. 

Bellamy cleared his throat, breaking the silence that hung between them "How are you holding up?" 

Clarke turned to face him, " I don't know how to feel, I just found out he tried to take advantage of me and my brain won't stop thinking about what if's or was it my own fault? Was I being slutty or teasing him I.. I don't know what to think " her gaze meeting his. "It's like I don't feel I can be upset or angry because I don't remember any of it. Am I allowed to feel something?" She bit the inside of her cheek, not letting the crack in her voice escape.

"Clarke, what he did and tried to do to you, was wrong, so wrong. Don't ever ask me if it was your fault again, he knew what he was doing. It doesn't matter how drunk you were, it didn't give him or any guy for that matter the permission to touch you. Ever. You hear me? You've had a shitty 48 hours and your allowed to feel however you want to" Bellamy took in a breath, walking towards her.

"Bellamy I-"

"Clarke, It was my fault you got so drunk, I completely ignored your interests and I've never done that before and I feel shit, because it's my fault. Octavia was right, I was so caught up with other people I forgot about you and I'll never be able to forgive myself for putting you in the position you ended up in. I'm sorry Clarke, I really really am, you know you and Octavia mean the world to me and I'll never do that again, I swear" His arms reached out for her, pulling her in close.

"I forgive you. Just don't ever forget about me again Blake” she whispered, she _meant_ it. 

"How could I ever forget you princess" he asked, he _meant_ it. 

Their moment was abruptly interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.

They jumped away from each other, Clarke opening the fridge as a distraction as Gina walked into the kitchen.

“Hey where’s my glass of water“ she pouted.

“Oh, hi Clarke, are you okay? I heard someone beat Finn up, thank god the asshole deserved it. I'm really sorry you know“ Gina frowned, sounding sincere. 

Clarke felt an uneasiness overcome her, everyone else seemed to know what had happened last night other than herself and it became frustrating.

“Hey Gina, yeah I'm... I'm okay?" Clarke shrugged, before trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm glad he got his ass kicked though” she chuckled whilst looking at Bellamy who was looking at anywhere but her.

Gina seemed completely oblivious to the fact it was Bellamy who’d beaten Finn up, which just confused Clarke even more.

“A few punches? Hell I saw Finn afterwards, whoever it was really fucked him up” Gina’s eyes widened.

Bellamy's eyes darted to Clarke, he swallowed quickly before placing a hand on Gina's shoulder.

"Let's go up to bed" Bellamy hummed into Gina's ear.

He didn't say goodnight to Clarke, instead he took Gina's hand and pulled her upstairs quickly.

Clarke followed them closing Octavia's door quietly behind her before she climbed into bed, staring at the ceiling blankly.

What the fuck was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments guys. 
> 
> Honestly not 100% sure about this chapter..
> 
> Might make some changes. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, the girls woke to the smell of pancakes, bacon and syrup - their favourite. The smell had floated up from the kitchen, they threw on some clothes, making their way downstairs.

"I wonder what he's done this time" sighed Octavia, Clarke shrugged walking into the kitchen behind Octavia.

But when they entered the kitchen, there were only two plates of food, which were both occupied by Bellamy and Gina.

"Wow Bell, thanks for the food" rolling her eyes, Octavia walked over and started pouring herself a cup of coffee.

She grabbed another cup for Clarke "O, Clarke doesn't like coffee.. she has hot chocolate with cream" Bellamy smirked, happy he'd managed to get one up on his sister that early in the day.

Octavia's hand stilled "I knew that” she snapped, reaching for the hot chocolate sachets aggressively.

Clarke lingered near Octavia, Gina smiled at her whilst Bellamy never once looked up from his plate.

He made small talk with Gina, seemingly ignoring both Octavia _and_ Clarke. 

"What have you done? Just tell me now and get it over with" sighed Octavia.

She took a seat opposite Bellamy putting her coffee down on the table; she was a little heavy handed as the scolding liquid splashed over the sides of the mug.

"O, I have no idea what your talking about. I just made breakfast for me and Gina" Bellamy replied innocently.

Jheeze, him and  _Gina._

It sounded so _alien_ coming out of Bellamy's mouth.

He never allowed a girl to stay and have breakfast, infact most of the time the girls he slept with wouldn't even get to meet Octavia, he'd stay at their house and he'd be gone before they woke up.

This, this thing with Gina was weird and so unlike Bellamy.

Clarke always prided herself on being able to read him, something Octavia always envied.

But when she looked over at him, stealing glances at Gina, for the first time she couldn't work him out.

"No, this isn't _just_ breakfast Bell.. this is the sorry I fucked up please forgive me breakfast you make me or Clarke when you fuck up" Octavia popped the p for extra affect.

Gina pulled a strange face, obviously feeling uncomfortable with Octavia's tone.

"What? No it isn't O, I always make pancakes with lots of bacon and.. and syru- oh I see. Want me to make you some?" his face strained, he hated it when Octavia was right.

"No it's fine, we have plans anyway don't we Clarke " Octavia looked to Clarke.

"Yeah we should start getting ready” Clarke nodded back quickly.

They made their way upstairs, Clarke lay on the bed listening to Octavia rant about Bellamy and Gina.

"I mean, who is this girl, why is she in my house. It's just to fucking weird you know? Bellamy and a girl? I don't want this to explode and when he does something wrong have her show up here, at my house crying on the doorstep” Octavia snapped, throwing her clothes on the bed trying to find an outfit.

"I just don't get it. He never, has never allowed a girl to stay here, it's just like this weird unspoken rule we have. We don't bring people back out of respect to each other, but there he is parading her around in the kitchen and all she's wearing is his fucking shirt, that fucking top. I swear didn't you get him that for his birthday.." she trailed off, noticing Clarke sigh heavily.

"You see why I tell you never to go there? He does shit like that, he isn't boyfriend material he doesn't know how to be because he can't talk about his feelings. He's Bellamy and Bellamy and girlfriend don't belong in the same sentence" Octavia collapsed next to Clarke, sensing her best friend probably feels the same way.

"Hey, how about we go shopping? We can go to that art store you like down town? Grab some stuff?" Octavia nudged Clarke, seeing the smile creep onto her face. 

"You had me at shopping O" 

When the girls finally finished getting ready, they walked downstairs to find the house empty and Bellamy's truck gone. Octavia found a note on the table 

_\- I've gone out with Gina for the day, won't be back to late._

_If Clarke's staying again make sure you grab some more food, maybe the chocolate brownie she likes or something?_

_See you tonight,_

_Bell_

"Hey Clarke, how would you feel going out tonight? No where to busy, just Monty's maybe? Everyone's dying to see you. I'm not pushing you, it's just the longer you put off something the harder it is to do? I completely get it if you don't want to. Just.. Just let me know yeah? " 

Clarke nodded her head, Octavia was right. She just didn't want to be the topic of conversation, the whole 'you okay Clarke, Finn totally deserved it' talk. She wanted to move on from that night and just put herself first for once.

"You know what, I will. Let's get it over with " She hummed, following Octavia out of the door. 

* * *

 A few shops later, they finally walked back into Octavia's with several bags each.

They got ready to the sound of some ministry CD Octavia had bought, they hadn't had this much fun in ages.

"I'm so glad your my best friend Clarke”

 

"I'm glad your my best friend too O”. 

Octavia cleared her throat, she didn't do soppy often and when she did, it was only for special people like Clarke or Bellamy.

"Are you nearly ready?" Octavia looked over at Clarke who was busy putting the last finishing touches to her make up, hoping her best friend was being honest when she said she was ready for this. 

Clarke believed she had found a new kind of confidence, what Finn had tried to do to her was awful, undoubtedly.

But she wasn't going to allow it to stop her, instead she used it and turned it into another layer of thick skin. She applied one last swipe of clear lip gloss before giving Octavia the 'I'm ready' look.

Walking down Octavia's drive, Bellamy's truck pulled up, his passenger seat empty. He was alone. 

"And where do you think your both going?" Bellamy's brow furrowed, taking in the sight of his sister and Clarke giggling like little kids.

"Monty's " Octavia's reply was short, snappy.

Bellamy looked over to Clarke who looked so effortlessly perfect.

"Your going to? Are you sure your up to it?"

Clarke just nodded back, her eyes meeting his for a second before dropping to focus on Octavia.

"I don't think it's a good idea, O. She isn't ready" Bellamy took a step towards them.

"For godsake Bell, she's nearly 18 stop thinking you know what's best for Clarke, or me for that matter. Stop treating her like a piece of fragile glass, she nearly shattered the other day and that's on you " Octavia prodded his chest, the alcohol she'd consumed earlier started to catch up with her.

"If she wants to go out, she can, stop fucking suffocating us" Octavia flung her arms out. 

"O, I didn't.. I was just saying I don't think she's ready" his jaw twitched, he wasn't going to fall into this trap where he looks like the bad guy. Not tonight.

"Can you stop talking about me like I'm not fucking here, because I'm right  _fucking_  here" Clarke raised her voice.

"You don't get to ignore me when it suites you Bellamy, I'm going to this damn party because I want to, nobody's forced me okay? I'm going and that's that. You wanna be nice? Give us a ride, other than that don't speak to me " Clarke tensed her jaw.

She liked this new found confidence, the old Clarke would never had said that. Octavia and Bellamy shared a look of surprise, as silence fell over the trio.

Clarke made her way over to Bellamy's truck, striding over in her heels as if she wore them everyday. Octavia followed behind her, neither one looking at Bellamy until they reached his truck. 

Bellamy rolled his eyes, his jaw tensing as he climbed into his truck starting the engine up. Clarke settled into the passenger seat.

Their arms brushed against one another for a split second. His body went rigid, shifting in his seat.

Clarke stared out of the window, watching the street lights illuminate the car every time they drove past one.

She lent her head against the window, closing her eyes as the soft lull of the car wiped the frown off her face.

"Just pull up here, we'll get out now" Octavia's voice came from the back of the truck.

Bellamy pulled over, looking into his mirror to see Octavia staring back at him.

"Thanks for the ride" she nodded, climbing out the car.

Clarke's hand reached over to the door handle when Bellamy reached over, placing his hand over her's.

"One minute that's all I ask" he whispered.

Clarke nodded at Octavia to carry on, she did so reluctantly. Bellamy waited until Octavia was out of sight before turning to face Clarke properly.

"I'm sorry I ignored you this morning, I was just preoccupied with breakfast and Gina being there. There's no need to do this" he pleaded.

"Do what Bellamy? Go and be a normal 17 year old and have fun" laughing, Clarke grabbed her bag from off the dashboard. 

"No, I mean go to this party to try and prove me wrong, your not ready" he ran a worried hand through his curls.

"Don't flatter yourself Bell, I'm going because I want to. Not that it's any concern of yours" Clarke snorted. 

"Please just think about this Clarke, I don't want you to freak out" His hand reached out to touch her's but she pulled away quickly.

"I have nothing to freak out over, there isn't some arrogant, self absorbed  guy there making heart eyes at a girl he just met whilst one of his besfriends is hurting, hurting because of him" Clarke regretted the words as soon as they escaped her lips, but she wasn't about to say sorry, he'd been an ass all day.

"You... you said you'd forgiven me Clarke" Bellamy's expression was pained, his heart sinking.

"Guess that sucks for you, see you around" Clarke muttered, stepping out of his truck swiftly, she quick walked down the street, pacing up the flight of stairs to Monty's door.

"You can do this Griffin" she nodded to herself before opening the door and stepping into the party. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took's me so long to update guys! Hope y'all had a lovely holiday.  
> There's gonna be a whole lot of angst coming up in the next couple of chapters guys, be prepared.  
> Again, thanks for all the comments.


	4. Chapter 4

The door hadn't even closed behind her, before her friends started to swarm around her, offering quick hugs and drunken smiles.

"Griffin, you have no idea how happy I am to see you " Jasper's lopsided grin coming into view as he handed her a cup.

"Don't worry its only water" he nodded.

Clarke handed him the cup back "Don't baby me guys, give me the real shit ".

The close knit group shared glances before Murphy appeared.

"As you wish your royal highness" he bowed down infront of Clarke, handing her some shitty alcohol that everybody else was drinking.

Laughing, she accepted the beer and downed it in one.

"Whoa Griffin, slow down yeah" Octavia's hand finding Clarke's shoulder, leading her towards the garden.

"What did Bellamy say to you?" Octavia stared at Clarke intensely. 

"Honestly O, I don't want to speak about it or Bellamy for that matter. I want to have a good time tonight and mentioning your brother kinda ruins my vibe" huffed Clarke as she opened another bottle of beer.

Octavia pulled a face, this was totally unlike Clarke “Whatever the hell you want " she shrugged before clinking her glass against Clarke's and downing the drink in one.

An hour or two had passed and Clarke was enjoying herself - really enjoying herself. For the first time in a long time, she got on the kitchen table and danced her heart out, singing stupidly. She played beer bong and she was a complete pro, to the point where nobody else wanted to play against her.

Monty and Jasper's passed out bodies on the sofa a clear warning to people she didn't fuck around. She felt happy and free and like a 17 year old should feel.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, an instagram notification flashing on the screen. 

_@murphyisthebest tagged you in a video - when griffin knows how to get down @cgriffin_

She unlocked her phone quickly, watching herself in a video Murphy had uploaded of her dancing on the table, throwing her jacket to him as everyone cheered her on. She scrolled down to read through the comments, most of them were off everyone from the party saying how crazy she is, how they love her.

She grinned back at her screen until her eyes landed on one comment in particular. 

_@finncollins: Wow. Is that at Monty's? I'm on my way._

Her stomach knotted, she ran over to Octavia thrusting her phone into her face.

"Clarke, he's lying.. there's no way he'd come here. Everyone knows what he tried to do to you, he has no friends anymore" trying her best to convince Clarke she was okay, she was safe here.

Her worst fear's however were shortly confirmed as Finn slipped in through the back door into the kitchen. Clarke didn't see him at first, but she heard his voice.

He's here, he's really here. 

"Monty, my man, Did my invite get lost or?" Finn patted Monty on the back.

"Collins, I suggest you leave now before I call the cops " Monty spluttered, as Jasper appeared at his side offering his support.

"You mean call the cops to a house with underage drinkers? And what's that I smell... pot?" Finn jeered, Monty's bluff had been well and truly blown.

"Where's Griffin? She still here?" Finn started to pace around the room, his eyes scanning the now formed circling crowd until his eyes landed on a set of blonde waves amongst the sea of bodies.

Clarke knew she couldn't avoid him now, this was it. Her chance to put this narcissist bastard in his place. She broke through the crowd, each step giving her a small but noticeable boost of confidence.

"Finn, I didn't expect you to be here, I'm so glad" Clarke said, her stomach recoiling.

His eyes widened, confident she was okay with him. Inside Clarke was trying to hold it together, to not cry or freak out like everyone in the room expected her to. 

“I’m so glad you believe me princess, you know I'd never hurt you” Finn reached out, tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

A door slammed making everyone's attention including Clarke’s to shift to the two figures entering the room. She knew it was Bellamy before he even walked around the corner, she'd know his footsteps anywhere, Lincoln followed closely behind him. 

"Finn, you have two seconds to get the fuck away from her” Bellamy warned.

Octavia appeared at Lincoln's side, her eyes pleading for Clarke to move away while she still could. She must of called Bellamy, dammit. She didn't need anyone to save her, she could do it all by herself.

"I’m fine” Clarke interrupted, winning a death glare from Bellamy. 

"You heard her Blake, back off " She felt Finn smile against her hair, his expression clearly smug as she watched Bellamy's face cloud over with anger.

This was her chance, she spun Finn around, lunging for his pants. She gripped onto his crotch hard, his face turning red, nostrils flaring. 

"if you so much as look at me ever again, I will hurt you. You honestly don't think I'd ever forgive you, let alone be with you? Your disgusting” she spat “Oh and for the record, I'd get your Mom to drop the charges against Bellamy, that is unless you want her to know what you did. Now fuck off and don't ever come back" She tightened her grip one last time before letting him go. He dropped to the floor, a yelp escaping his mouth.

"I'll drop the charges, I swear Clarke please listen to me, i love you "he grovelled whilst Lincoln and Murphy picked him up and threw him out the house. 

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause, Clarke let out a breath she didn't know she'd been keeping in, as all the negative feelings she'd previously felt floated away into nothingness.

"Clarke that was fucking amazing" Octavia gasped, holding Clarke in a death grip hug before pulling away looking at her in disbelief. 

"It was also really stupid, what were you playing at" Bellamy yanked her wrist, pulling her towards him. She squirmed under his grip, snatching her arm away from him.

"I think it went pretty well, and oh your welcome by the way... for getting him to drop the charges" Clarke's voice was laced with sarcasm.

For the first time Bellamy was unable to read her. This wasn't the Clarke he knew, he suddenly felt like he was in the presence of a stranger.

"It could of gone so wrong Clarke, what if he had hurt you huh? Don't you see the possible dangers, don't you understand why I worry about you, when you pull shit like that” pointing his finger at the door Finn was thrown out of moments before.

"But it went fine Bellamy, I didn't need you to save me, so just chill yeah?" Clarke laughed lightly, before turning on her heels and walking over to the table to grab herself another drink. 

Bellamy swallowed, watching Clarke inquisitively as she joked around with everyone, dancing with Octavia and looking so carefree. He'd never seen Clarke behave like this before, he started to worry, how can someone who’d gone through the trauma she had be acting like this?

Something didn’t seem right so he decided to stick around, hang out the back with Murphy, Miller and Lincoln. They were discussing football when Roan interrupted their conversation.

"How hot is that Griffin chick" Roan’s head nodding in the direction of the window where you could see Clarke and Octavia dancing giddily with eachother. 

"Octavia's pretty hot too" Lincoln muttered, unaware he'd said it out loud but the thud from Bellamy’s shoe on his leg told him he’d fucked up. 

"Eye's off my sister Lincoln, not cool. As for you, I'd keep away Clarke” Bellamy grunted.

Roan rolled his eyes " Now now, don't get jealous Blake, don't think Gina would like that” he smirked.

"I’m not jealous, I just care that's all, she doesn't need another asshole annoying her" Bellamy snapped.

Miller cleared his throat, alerting the guys to the nearing presence of Clarke and Octavia.

Clarke's hair was wet, her curls falling out, tiny bits of hair sticking to her face. Her bodysuit became slightly see through, her lacy black bra could be seen underneath, Bellamy gulped.

She'd taken her jeans off and instead replaced them with a pair of short shorts he was sure were originally Octavia's. Bellamy looked behind Clarke to see his sister in a very similar state, he could smell the testosterone from the guys already.

"Here, put this on” Lincoln handed Octavia his jacket, she took it hesitantly, slipping it on, she was thankful for the warmth that greeted her as she took a seat next to him.

Bellamy looked at Clarke, shrugging his jumper off. “Put this on, you'll catch cold out here".

She bit her lip, clearly debating whether or not to take it. Giving in, she held her arms lazily above her head, letting Bellamy slip the jumper on, flicking her hair from under it.

"Better?" he asked.

Clarke nodded back, she appreciated the gesture but it didn’t mean they were okay.

Clarke took a seat next to Roan, he smiled at her, resting his arm on her shoulder. Bellamy noticed and immediately looked away, trying to stamp out the fire that had ignited in the pit of his stomach. 

"So Clarke you were amazing earlier" Roan's eyes fluttered, resting his head on his hands as he stared up at her. 

"I do try" teased Clarke, nudging him with her shoulder.

Octavia raised her eyebrow, eyeing Clarke suspiciously; they were _definitely_ flirting. 

"Who wants to play truth or dare?" Murphy smirked, placing an empty bottle on the table.

Everyone nodded, "Let the games begin then”.

Murphy spun first, it landed on Miller "Truth or Dare?" he asked.

"I'll be boring, Truth" Miller laughed against the sound of everyone sighing. 

"No fun... okay. Who are you most attracted to on this table?" Murphy asked.

"Er, I'd probably say Monty, but Miss Clarke Griffin you are heavenly" He laughed.

Monty turned a shade of red as Clarke grinned back "Miller, i love you".

Miller was next to spin, it landed on Bellamy "Blake, truth or dare?" Bellamy chose dare.

Miller and Murphy whispered between themselves before agreeing on a dare. 

"I dare you to kiss Griffin" 

The table fell silent, Bellamy stilled, shaking his head because of cause his friends are morons.  

Clarke’s blue eyes drifted to Bellamy, chewing the inside of her cheek. 

"He, he can't. He has a girlfriend” Clarke stuttered, clearly feeling as uncomfortable as Bellamy did.

Clarke didn't give anyone chance to say anything else before she spun the bottle again.

It landed on Roan.

"I dare you to kiss me" The confidence was oozing out of Clarke.

Octavia's jaw dropped "Griffin".

”O it’s fine, just quit stressing” Clarke dismissed 

Roan took Clarke's face in his hands, his lips touched hers delicately, he was gentle and slow but Clarke didn’t want that, she wanted something real. 

Murphy cleared his throat, snapping Clarke and Roan out of their little bubble.

They pulled back, breathless. Clarke's cheeks were flushed, Roan stared at her lips one last time before turning to face the rest of the group.

Octavia grimaced as she cocked her head to the side, motioning for Clarke to see the empty seat, Bellamy's empty seat. 

Clarke didn't ask where Bellamy had gone, she continued to play as if she was oblivious to his missing presence.

After everyone grew tired, people started to leave. One by one, the house grew more quiet.

"Hey Clarke, Lincoln said he'll give us a ride back to mine, you ready to leave?”.

"Uh, yeah I'll meet you outside" she mumbled.

Clarke found Roan " Just incase" She handed him a torn piece of paper with her number scribbled on it.

"Of course" Roan grinned back, kissing Clarke on the cheek before showing her to the door. 

She slipped into the front of Lincolns car, smiling at him as she buckled up.

"Is Bellamy okay?" Lincoln questioned, looking at Octavia in his rear view mirror. 

"He's not answering my texts I have no idea" Octavia shrugged.

Clarke frowned turning to her "How come he left?".

"He didn't say, he just took off" Octavia frowned “You were to busy kissing Roan to notice".

"I'm sure he's fine O, he probably forgot he'd made plans with Gina or something" For the first time Clarke mentioned Gina's name and it didn't leave a sour taste in her mouth.

This is good, its an improvement.

Clarke left Lincoln and Octavia in the car to speak, she walked up to the Blake's door letting herself in.

Bellamy's truck was parked outside, he was definitely in. Walking into the kitchen she eyed a plate of chocolate brownies, taking a handful she sprinted up the stairs towards the bathroom.

Opening the door she was met with hot steamy air, her face becoming dewy.

"Jesus Clarke, you could of knocked" Bellamy wheezed like a deer in headlights as he wrapped a towel tightly around his hips, running a hand through his wet curls.

Clarke was dumbstruck, taking in the sweet sight of Bellamy Blake in just a towel. She was thankful for the hot heat of the bathroom to mask her blushed cheeks and sweaty palms. 

"In my defence the door was unlocked and the water wasn't running " she held her hands up, enjoying how flustered he looked. 

"I didn't expect you'd come back here" 

"and what's that supposed to mean?" Clarke fired back.

"I.. I just meant you might of crashed at Monty's or Roa-"

"Oh Bellamy fuck off, what do you think I am? Yeah I kissed Roan, doesn't mean I'd go back to his house and fuck him" she jeered back. 

"Clarke, I never said that, I just didn't think you'd come back here " 

"Do you have a problem with him, Roan I mean? " Clarke took a step closer to him.

"No Clarke, he's an okay guy I just. He isn't right for you, that's all I'm saying" he sighed.

"I'm not going to marry the guy, it's called  _fun_ Bellamy, isn't that what you used to tell me and Octavia?" Clarke took another step closer to him.

Bellamy's eye's locked onto her's as she stood infront of him, he felt intimidated under her gaze. 

"Did it bother you? Me and Roan kissing? " 

"No, I just-" 

"Why did you leave Bellamy” Clarke questioned.

"I was tired, I needed a shower " he muttered breaking eye contact with her. He was lying.

"I'm sorry it bother's you if I kiss someone".

He shook his head "It doesn't bother me Clarke".

"Would it bother you if he fucked me? Or Murphy, hell what about Lincoln" her tone was teasing.

Bellamy's jaw slacked, she saw his eyes flicker with a flash of jealousy. "Clarke shut up".

She lent into him, her mouth humming against his ear " I'm not your sister Bellamy”.

A tiny water droplet fell from Bellamy's lashes onto his cheek, she wiped it away with one swift movement her thumb resting on his face.

"Their not good enough for you Clarke " .

"No, their not good enough for Octavia, Remember that, I'm no concern of yours” she quipped.

Bellamy brushed past Clarke, walking out the bathroom into his room slamming the door behind him.

Clarke gulped, wiping her hand across the steamed up glass, unsure of who she was looking back at. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This new Clarke is fierce af guys, I'm living for it!  
> Feedback would be most appreciated, not sure if I like this chapter, may have to edit it.  
> 


	5. Chapter 5

Rays of sunlight poured through the gaps in the blind, illuminating the room. An eerie glow filled it, as Bellamy lay awake staring up at the ceiling.

Clarke's weird behaviour had kept him up most of the night. The things she said replaying involuntarily in his head. His phone buzzed, he reached out grabbing it lazily seeing Gina's name appear.

  _You still on for today?_

He liked hanging out with Gina, she was cool, gorgeous and wasn't clingy like most girls Bellamy knew. He shuffled around his room, grabbing a t shirt off the side, shaking his head wildly making his short curls fall perfectly into place.

Walking downstairs he heard a muffled heated discussion, as it died down he turned the corner, a flash of blonde colliding into him. His arms reached out to her sides like an automatic reflex, steadying her.

 "You alright?" the question slipped out, he shouldn't ask, why should he care. 

_I'm no concern of yours remember_ the words embedded into his head as he looked at her, but this time she didn't look back.

She slipped from his grasp and continued on her journey towards the front door, slamming it behind her.

He frowned, pausing in the hall where Clarke had left him, feeling confused and a little hurt she’d ignored him. He pulled out his phone, sending Gina a reply. 

_Of course, be over in 10._  

Octavia cleared her throat as he entered the kitchen, letting him know she was there as she slid a cup of coffee over to him.

"What's up with Clarke?" he asked, trying to sound like he didn’t care but the look Octavia gave him told him he hadn’t achieved that. 

"Nothing, it’s probably just you" Octavia rolled her eyes but her voice had a softness to it, that made Bellamy aware she was joking. 

"She didn’t even look at me, or even acknowledge me” he sounded childish and he knew it, why should he care? It's only Clarke.

Yeah... only  _Clarke._

“Big Brother, you need to face facts your not her favourite person anymore" Octavia took a sip of her coffee to hide her smirk. 

He ignored the way his heart reacted to Octavia’s words, she’s joking he reassured himself. Isn’t she??

Bellamy eyed Octavia suspiciously, "Your hiding something... what is it?" 

“Jesus Bellamy, are you spying on me" Octavia's expression becoming flustered.

She definitely is hiding something. He cocked his head to the side, urging her to spill her secret.

"Okay, so we both know it's Clarke's birthday next month and I wanted to throw her this super amazing party, a surprise one. I'm going to look at a venue today and I kinda blew her off, telling her I had plans with somebody else and she got uh a little offended, that's probably why she blanked you" Octavia groaned in defeat. 

"Okay, so maybe I was a little bit snappy, but you know what she's like Bell. She wants to know everything all the time, I just wanted to be a few steps in front of her for once" Octavia reasoned. 

Bellamy sympthaised with his sister because god, he knew what it was like to keep a secret from the infamous Clarke Griffin. It _never_ ended well. 

“God O” he sighed, before her words actually hit him “wait it’s Clarke’s Birthday next month? Shit, I didn’t realise it was so close” he muttered. 

Octavia shot him a stern glance “ I need you to help me, you know her as well as I do. Hell maybe even a little better.. but only a little bit “ she huffed, hating to admit there was a possibility someone else knew Clarke better than she did, finding it even harder to admit that person was her brother. 

“I’m meant to be seeing Gina today, I can uh cancel?” he suggested, trying to not focus on the way Octavia’s expression changed when he offered to cancel his plans with Gina to do something for Clarke. 

“No, no” Octavia muttered “Bring her,  an extra set of eyes will do nicely“. 

20 minutes later, Gina walked through the Blake’s front door like she’d been coming there for years, much to the annoyance of Octavia.

“Oh, sorry Gina I mustn’t of heard you knock, lucky the door was open right“. Octavia forced a smile. Gina seemed oblivious to the venomous tone as she reciprocated a warm smile back.

Octavia didn’t _dislike_ Gina, she was pretty and nice and obviously made Bellamy some kind of happy. BUT the way she’d just appeared out of nowhere into her life was strange, she was always round the house, she even had her own draw of clothes in Bellamy’s room, her own shampoo in the shower.

She was just everywhere and no where all at once.

The way Bellamy paraded her around everywhere to show off he has a girlfriend, it's weird. But having a distracted brother _does_ have its perks.  

The three of them bundled into Bellamy's truck, a comfortable silence filling the air.

"So, does Clarke have a new boyfriend yet?” Gina broke the ice with what can only be described as a _touchy_ subject. 

"Yes" Octavia smirked, at the same time Bellamy scoffed "No".

His eyes met Octavia's briefly in the rear view mirror before going back to the road ahead. 

“What’s he getting her for her birthday? hey maybe we should get him involved in the party” Gina pressed on.

Bellamy's hand gripped the steering wheel tighter than before, his knuckles becoming white against his tanned complexion. He kept his stern gaze on the road, zoning out as the girls made small talk about Clarke.

He was so focused on the road he never heard Octavia mention she was joking and that Clarke was 100% single. 

They eventually pulled up outside some posh nightclub near the city, a red carpet outside leading up to double glass doors. "O, I don't think this is Clarke" Bellamy squirmed, surveying the overly extravagant venue. 

Octavia shrugged him off, as they made their way up to the front desk. Within a few seconds Lincoln appeared in a suit, he greeted Octavia with a hug, that lasted a little longer than Bellamy liked.

"Good to see you man " Lincoln clapped him on the back, Bellamy remained fairly hostile, settling for a short nod. 

Lincoln was to wrapped up in staring at Octavia to notice the shift in Bellamy’s behaviour towards him. 

"Lincoln works here Bell, he's going to save us.. well Abby a fortune!" Octavia informed him. 

Bellamy settled for a grunt, baffled why his sister was trying to inform him about _his_ friends job as if _he_ didn’t already know.

He was also confused why Octavia would pick a place where Abby who has all the money in the world Griffin would get a discount. But then he saw the way Octavia looked at Lincoln and suddenly it dawned on him. 

Oh my god. 

"O this is _way_ much, Clarke is the opposite of this. She'd prefer a much more low key setting, with all of her 'friends' who'm by the way I can count on two hands. This isn't Clarke” he pressed on “besides, I’m sure Lincoln would rather be _at_ her party than _serving_ _drinks_ at it” Bellamy tried to tame his tone, when Octavia didn’t react to it, he breathed a sigh of relief.  

“Oh... well can I book this place for my birthday?" she beamed. She didn't wait for Bellamy's response as she started to sign some papers before handing them back to Lincoln giddily.

"Thank's anyway, see you around" she whispered planting a delicate kiss onto Lincoln’s cheek whilst her brother walked over to his truck. 

Returning back to the car Octavia sighed "What do we do now?".

"Leave it to me O, you sort the invites out and I'll plan it. I obviously do know princess better than you" he smirked, he loved getting one up on his sister.

“Princess?" Gina spoke up, trying to keep herself cool. 

“It's just something Bell's called her since well forever" Octavia informed her before becoming distracted with her phone.

“Oh... right " Gina paused "You do know her pretty well don't you? All that stuff you said back there, it's almost like your bestfriends" Gina tried to hide the faintest tone of jealousy in her voice.

Bellamy cleared his throat "Of cause I know her well, I've known her since she was 4 year's old. She's also been O's bestfriend ever since. We kinda are bestfriends in some weird and dysfunctional way I guess". 

Gina nodded back, offering him a sweet smile. But as soon as Bellamy’s concentration went back onto the road, her smile fell instantly being replaced with an uncertain scowl. 

* * *

Four day's had passed and neither Octavia or Bellamy had seen or heard from Clarke.

Bellamy wasn't that surprised, their relationship had been rocky lately. But Octavia, she was loosing her mind.

She called her, even called Abby and every time she'd just get their voicemail's. She'd stalked her on social media and there was nothing. No trace of Clarke being alive anywhere. 

“Bell, I think you should go and check her house " Octavia shouted from the window, her hand above her eyes as she squinted looking at Clarke's house.

"I swear her Mom hasn't even been home all week" she sighed.

Bellamy agreed it was strange that Clarke was MIA, especially with Octavia who normally she couldn't go an hour without speaking to her.

He ran over to his truck, slipping out the Griffin's spare house key which he had for special emergencies. He nodded to Octavia who was watching him closely from the window, she didn't want to come, incase there's a possibility Clarke's dead body is in the house, which just made Bellamy scoff and tell her she was being ridiculous. 

He unlocked the door, slipping inside, trying to be as quite as possible. The house was in eerie silence, as he walked slowly around the downstairs of the house. There was no sign of life.

He cautiously walked upstairs, trying hard not to make the stairs squeak. Bellamy's brown eye's scanned the landing, one room had a muffled sound coming from it.

As he approached it, he still couldn't work out what the noise was. He realised all to soon it was Clarke's room where the buzzing was coming from.

He gulped, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to find behind her door. His shaky hand gripped the door handle, twisting it slowly, not letting out so much as a breath as he opened the door. 

Clarke's TV was on, a barely audible volume with some old black and white film playing. His eye's scanned her room, pictures of her and Octavia filled the majority of her picture frames but one stood out in particular, next to her bedside was a picture of her and Bellamy when she was 8 and he was 10.

They were sitting next to each other, his arm around her shoulder's as they posed with their 4 scoop ice creams his Mom had treated them to. Clarke's toothless smile and Bellamy's freckled cheeks only inches away.

" So the princess does still like me then " he whispered. 

 He started to walk around her room, the majority of Clarke's room was tidy, towards the far side there were paints, drawings, pictures and a huge montage wall, covered in picture's of several different people and quotes. Bellamy's finger's traced over a smaller version of the picture that's on Clarke's bedside table, he smiled to himself but not before a muffled yelp alerted his attention elsewhere.

He walked over to Clarke's en suite, creaking the door open cautiously, he was taken aback by the sight of Clarke huddled in the corner.

"Clarke " her name came out strangled, as he rushed over to her kneeling down beside her.

She'd been crying, her day's old mascara had dried in stains down her lightly freckled cheeks. She was shivering, hiccuping every now and again. Bellamy's hand reached out to touch her, she flinched under his touch, her body recoiling from the contact. 

“Clarke, c'mon it's me... what the hell happened?” he pleaded.

“Bell-amy. I'm fine" she whispered, her voice weak 

He left her side fetching her a glass of water, returning as quickly as he could, pressing it to her lips.

"Drink it please Clarke" her lips remained tightly sealed. "Please for me" he pleaded, pushing the glass closer to her. 

She hesitated, before taking the cup in her hands, slowly bringing it to her mouth. He watched the relief in her eyes as the water washed down her obviously sore throat.

"What's wrong" he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, relieved when she didn’t pull away. 

"Y'know you can tell me, even if I am an ass half of the time" he smiled hesitantly, trying to tread carefully.

"I'm just not okay" she swallowed, her eye's fixating on her hands as she picked away at the skin surrounding her finger nails intensely. "I'm not okay Bellamy, but I should be. I'm fine, perfectly fine but I don't feel it... not in here" she pointed a shaky hand to her chest, hovering over her heart. 

"Finn hurt me, but he didn't and I shouldn't be like this but I just can't fucking sleep and it’s driving me insane. Every time I close my eyes I see his body on top of mine and I hear his voice and I-“ her wavering voice broke on the last word, her eye's beginning to steam as her whole body shook uncontrollably. 

Bellamy reached out to her tentatively, holding her close. Her held her until he felt the tear's stop. He pulled away, but only a little, just enough to see her face.

"Clarke, it's okay to be upset. What happened to you was awful, you know that right? Your aloud to feel pain" he whispered, hoping she understood that none of this was her fault. 

“But I never got hurt, don't you see. I'm just being stupid" she snapped, pulling at her hair aggressively. She untangled herself from his arms, rising up from the bathroom floor. 

Bellamy followed closely behind her "Clarke come back with me".

She shook her head "No, I'm fine Bellamy. I'm just tired".

"Please" he begged.

He looked at her, like really looked at her. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, or even eaten.

She looked small and scared and it was such a different Clarke to the one who cornered him in the bathroom only a few days before.

"You don't have to pretend your okay, not around me" He reassured her.

"Bellamy please just go" she whispered, still not making eye contact with him.

"I'm not leaving without Clarke".

“Just... Just go back home Bellamy"

"Home is wherever you and Octavia are” he whispered it so quietly he didn't think she'd heard him.

She did though and she turned around to face him, angry tear's spilling down her cheeks.

"No, go home Bellamy, to Octavia and, and _Gina_ and just leave me alone I'm fine okay. Stop pretending you care, Octavia isn't around so just go" she snapped, her finger ordering him to the direction of her door. 

"Clarke of course I fucking care. Stop pushing me away. Just please... come back with me. I can’t leave you like this".

“No, no Bellamy you don't care-".

"God dammit Clarke, I have every reason to care, I.. I care about you so fucking much, your like one of my best friends and I just- please just come back with me" he pleaded in frustration.

"Bellamy, just go. You push me away all the time. Now I'm telling you. Leave. Me. Alone” she snapped, sinking down onto her bed.

His head told him to go, leave like she had pleaded him to.

But his heart was fiercer, pleading for him to stay put.

Be with her.

Comfort her.

"Can you tell Octavia to come over" she mumbled, her back to him as she lay down.

He nodded even though she couldn't see him " if that's what you want" he sighed in defeat.

"It is".

Fighting every instinct he had to stay, he walked back over to his house, filling Octavia in on what had happened.

”she doesn’t want me... she wants you” The feeling if hurt rolled off him in waves, he closed his eyes, feeling guilty that he was making this about him. But he couldn’t help it, Clarke didn’t want him there, didn’t want him to comfort her and he felt utterly helpless. 

Octavia picked up on it immediately “She's behaving like she did when she lost her dad " Octavia's attempt at trying to change the conversation fell flat as the realisations of her best friend spiralling made her heart sink. 

"I should of spotted this sooner Bell, I could of stopped her getting this bad" A single tear rolled down Octavia's cheeks as Bellamy enveloped her into a hug.

”We all could of O, please don’t blame yourself” he muttered into her hair, as he tried to do anything other than blame himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts as always are appreciated guys :)


	6. Chapter 6

Octavia retraced her brother's steps, her senses on high alert.

"Clarke, it's me O. Where are you?" she called out, following her instincts and going up to Clarke's bedroom.

Clarke lay in her bed, in the same position she was in when Bellamy had left, Octavia climbed into bed beside her, hooking her arms tightly around Clarke. Clarke's sobs were muffled under her sea of hair, her body shakily violently as she nestled her body into Octavia's.

"Why am I like this O? Why am I so messed up " she cried.

“Shhh, hey I'm here now and I won't leave you I promise" She stroked Clarke's hair soothingly.

After awhile Clarke calmed down, her breathes slowed down, her body began to still as she fell asleep to the soft touch of Octavia's fingers running through her hair. Octavia was thankful Clarke was finally able to sleep.

Octavia took in the sight of her best friend looking simply broken. Some strange feeling occurred, the feeling of history repeating itself.

*** 

There was this constant voice sneering in the back of Clarke's head. A body-less devil that was working its way through her whole body. It didn't matter if she was sleeping or awake. It would be there. 

" _It_ _should_ _be_ _you_ _that's_ _dead_ "

" _It's_ _your_ _fault_ _hes_ _gone_ "

" _Why_ _aren't_ _you_ _happy_... _your_ _alive_?" 

Like a broken record player, the same things would get said. Bit by bit, word by word, it started to gnaw away at Clarke. Each day a piece of her would crumble into nothingness as she became more and more withdrawn from everything.

Her Mom, her friends, her life.She felt herself falling at uncontrollable speed, but nobody else could see it. Everybody else was still mourning the loss of her Dad, they were to caught up in their own pools of sadness to notice Clarke's even bigger, deeper pool.

She found drinking made it better, every night before bed she'd drink some acid like alcohol that would burn her throat, all the way down to her stomach. The constant burning sensation made her forget about the voice in her head, if only for a second. She'd fall asleep almost instantly, the alcohol made her eyelids heavy, her mind a blank canvas.

But then somehow the voice found out how to infiltrate her head and her escape was an escape no more. The voice was harsher, more viper like when she was drunk. She'd clutch the side of her head, groaning at the dull pounding in her head, the devils voice chipping away at her. 

One day Clarke was supposed to meet Octavia straight after school, Octavia waited at their normal meet up place but Clarke never showed. It had been 2 weeks since Mr Griffin had died and Clarke had seemed okay, the light in her eyes had gone but she was okay. She went to school, ate, drank, she still saw Octavia every day.

She walked home in the pouring rain after waiting an hour for Clarke to show up, she was muttering under her breath when she heard a scream she'll never forget. It came from Clarke's house and she fought against the weight of her soaking wet clothes, running as fast as she could. Bursting through Clarke's front door she was met with a sight that would be burned into her memories forever.

Clarke lay in her Mom's arms, it was the first time since Clarke's Dad died that Octavia really looked at her bestfriend. She'd lost a lot of weight, her skin paler than normal, her body frail but more importantly lifeless. Octavia sank down next to Abby Griffin as she wept, begging Clarke to wake up. An empty bottle of spirits lay a few feet away from Clarke, alongside an empty bottle of pills.

She'd consumed a large number of pills and alcohol and although she didn’t mean to give herself an overdose, that’s exactly what she had done.

After that night Clarke was monitored day and night by her Mom, doctors, Octavia and Bellamy. She saw a councillor once a week to talk about the voice in her head.

"I'm just so selfish, my Dad's dead and I'm here alive and all I do is cry all the time, but I'm ALIVE so I should be happy I'm here" her shoulder's hunching over at her admission.

"Clarke, what you went through was a very traumatic experience. What your feeling is completely normal. Your not selfish for mourning the loss of your Dad " Dr Tsing placed her hand on Clarke's. She jotted down some notes before prescribing Clarke on some sleeping tablets.

The first week was the hardest, she refused to take them, spitting them out every chance she got. "Pills won't make me better, I'm not ill. I’m just tired. Don't you get it?! I'm fine" She snapped at Abby, as she lay at the end of her bed, coaxing her into taking just one.

"For me Clarke please" Abby sighed.

Clarke shook her head "No Mom, I don't need them".

It was only when Aurora Blake passed away the week after that Clarke started to take them.

In Aurora's will she wrote a small piece for Clarke and Clarke only.

My Dearest, Sweetest Clarke,

I am dying. I have stage 4 Cancer and I am going to die before the end of the year.

My one wish for you my dear child is that you live.

You get better and live your life. Live it for me, but most importantly yourself.

My sweet little angel, please watch out for my Bellamy and Octavia.

Support eachother, stay together.

My three musketeers.

All my love

Always and Forever

Mamma Blake x

From that day Clarke took her pills, finding a way for Auroa’s memory to live on, everyday she got better she felt she was making her more and more proud.  Eventually she was able to sleep the night through, she'd be able to do day to day things and not have that voice in the back of her head. Every day she felt less guilt, less pain for what happened with her Dad. She was there for Bellamy and Octavia and they were there for her.

The three of them, together.

***

Octavia wiped away the tear that had slid down her cheeks as she reminisced about the painful memories she'd tried so hard to forget. She slipped out of the bed, watching nervously over her shoulder trying not to wake Clarke as she dialled Abby quickly "Hey Abby, it's me... yeah hi it's about Clarke".

Bellamy sat in a daze. Seeing Clarke in that way, again. It bought up old wounds, one's he thought he'd buried deep never to be seen again. He closed his eyes for a split second the painful image of Clarke broken flashing in his head. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

His mother had always told him Clarke was a special one, ""Keep her close son, she's a good one" Aurora had said.

Unbeknown to both of them, that was the last thing Aurora said to Bellamy before she died. It stuck in his head like a thorn in the side. It was bittersweet, his Mom adored Clarke much like he did. He was never good enough for Clarke and never would be. That's what he told himself the first time he thought about her being more than just his friend.

One time Bellamy was looking after the girls and he left them alone to get changed, by the time he came downstairs Clarke had cut her knees, falling over Bellamy's football trainers. He scooped her up, putting a plaster on before planting a gentle kiss to her knee.

"See all better now princess” he smiled as her sobs disappeared and instead were replaced with a steady smile.

Another time, Bellamy got into a fight at school with another boy. Bellamy had the upper hand but Octavia screamed at him to stop, his attention shifted to her, when a fist collided with his cheek, sending him backwards. Clarke rushed over, pushing the guy twice her size back, he pushed Clarke on the floor, her head hitting the concrete. Within seconds, blood started to seep through her blonde hair.

"B B Bellamy” She stammered, her eye's glassed over as she started to cry.

Bellamy pressed his hand to the back of her head, she whimpered at the contact. Clarke always seemed to get hurt around him and he hated it. He blamed himself most if not all times, he'd grown to care for her, as she had for him. They grew dependent on one another.

Abby took them all away for a weekend once, after Aurora and Jake's year anniversary. Clarke sat on a fence, her hair blowing in the wind, her eyes squinted as she laughed at something Bellamy had said.

The sun made her eyes a crazy shade of heavenly blue, her dimple's on show as she smiled bright and wide. It was the first time since her Dad's passing that she looked genuinely happy. She looked free. It was in that moment he knew he loved her. But she was Octavia's bestfriend, one of his bestfriends and she was out of league, completely out of his reach.

That's when he made himself a promise, to be there for Clarke when she needed him to be, to tell her she's pretty when she say's she isn't, to help her not make shit decisions and to never let her waste her time on people who weren't worth a single second of her time. Including him.

He watched all her dance recitals, went to all her art exhibits, every single important event in Clarke's life he'd been there to witness it. When she got her first boyfriend, he realised she'd never feel the same. Of cause why would she? He was like a brother to her, someone she could depend on. He couldn't allow himself to fall for her anymore. He loved having her in his life and he didn't want to ever jeopardise that, even if it meant hurting himself in the process.

He took a step back, starting to distract himself with other girls, mostly blondes. Like Clarke. But they weren't Clarke. It made it easier to be around her, but then she'd hug him or call him Bell and the feelings would resurface and he felt himself slipping, into the bottomless hole that was Clarke Griffin.

His phone buzzed, snapping him out of his thoughts it was Octavia.

"Bell, their putting her on sleeping tablets again, her Mom know's everything about Finn. Everything, she wants to press chargers, expose him to the whole town " Octavia stammered.

"I don't care about Finn... how is she?" he gulped.

"She's.. not as bad as before, but I think she needs to see somebody again. Or maybe just speak to us or her Mom or just fucking somebody" Octavia sighed.

"Look I gotta go her Mom's coming back... Bell?"

"Yeah O?"

"Plan this party and make it the best damn party ever, she needs this. She deserves it".

"Uh yeah, of cause I will. O... I love you" he swallowed thickly.

"I love you too big brother” her voice cracked, she cut him off before she shed a tear.

Four weeks after Clarke's downfall, Finn had been sent to a juvenile prison for a year, he'd been banned off the football team and had his upcoming scholarship withdrawn. Octavia visited Clarke everyday, once Finn had been sentenced, Clarke's mentality improved.

"I feel like I can justify feeling upset, now everybody knows" Clarke looked to Octavia, letting the weight of the Finn situation _finally_ lift off her shoulders.

She was still on some tablets but only two. One to help her sleep at night, as she was still having problems with that and the second one, was to keep her 'balanced'. She'd been doing well but her Mom still fussed over her, everyday.

"Clarke, are you sure your going to be okay to stay at Octavia's tonight? I'm sure she won't mind if you don't want to" Abby's eyes looked over her daughter, looking, maybe a little to hard to see if there was anything for her to be worried over.

"Mom for the last time, honestly I'm fine. I'm actually really excited to get out of the house... no offence" she smiled quickly.

Abby nodded, silently agreeing with Clarke that getting out of the house would be good for her, good for them both. 

She knocked keenly on Octavia's door, which is something she hasn't done in years, but she hadn't been here in over 5 weeks and things felt different.

She was greeted to a bone crushing hug from Octavia.

"Griffin, it feels like forever" she breathed out as Clarke followed her into the kitchen.

Bellamy was fetching a tray of perfectly done brownies out of the oven, when his eyes caught Clarke's.

"Princess" he smiled, he picked up the biggest brownie “Fuck" he yelped, as he dropped the brownie back onto the baking tray.

"Uh.. I'll let them cool down for abit longer" his face flushing as he tried to occupy himself in the hope she’d forget about it. 

Clarke grinned back, as she walked over to him embracing him in a short, sweet hug. She was thankful they were both being normal with her, it allowed her to ease back into some kind of normality.

On cue, Gina entered the house, her arms holding tons of bags. She stopped like a deer in headlights as she spotted Clarke.

"Uh, hey Clarke" she flustered, before running upstairs to dump the bags.

She came into the kitchen, her arms now free of the bags before settling in next to Bellamy's side.

"Have you got any plans for tomorrow Clarke?" Gina asked.

Clarke knew it was her birthday tomorrow and as usual she'd have a traditional birthday breakfast with her Mom, Octavia and Bellamy. But other than that she hadn't got any plans, which kinda sucked because she was 18 tomorrow.

"Not much I don't think " Clarke shook her head.

Gina nudged Bellamy not as discretely as she'd hoped. Clarke cocked her eyebrow up, catching Octavia glance at Bellamy. Something was going on here...

"The brownies will be cool enough to eat now" Bellamy cleared his throat, throwing the kitchen into chaos as everyone grabbed a plate, scoops of ice cream and whipped cream before tucking into the brownies.

"Bell, these are amazing " Clarke and Gina hummed at the same time, Gina’s expression turned sour but it was quickly replaced with an over exaggerated smile.

Clarke felt a lump in the back of her throat, scolding herself be careful what you say Griffin.

He nodded his head in thanks, as he turned to start washing up. Gina joined his side almost instantly, as Octavia rolled her eyes, nudging Clarke towards the door.

"Their getting pretty serious aren't they" Clarke asked.

Octavia threw her a death glare as Clarke continued " I mean, she's even doing the shopping" Clarke laughed to try and ease the fast building tension.

"She's annoyingly big on PDA, she has to be within 2mm of him otherwise she's scared someone might take him away" her eyes glanced at Clarke mischievously.

" Who... me?” Clarke gasped in disbelief

Octavia laughed back " No, really Griffin, your a real threat to her, she's nice she really is and she likes you to. But I think you being around my brother bother's her. Because your as close to him as I am. But I'm his sister and your not. Theatrically your a very attractive girl that my brother see's all the time. It bothers her " Octavia smirked, as Clarke cut her eyes back at her.

“Octavia I haven’t been around for weeks, I’ve barely seen him” Clarke frowned.

“Clarke, just because you weren’t here doesn’t mean Bellamy didn’t speak about you... like all the god damn time” Octavia admitted.

"Hmm.. whatever O" she shrugged back.

"Anyways, I was thinking for your birthday maybe we could try a club down in Arcadia. If your up for it anyway?"

Clarke hummed back in response, pondering in her thoughts. It was her birthday and she had nothing else to do " I guess we could".

Octavia clapped her hands together dramatically " Well we better start planning your outfit ".

Clarke smiled back falsely, Octavia loved to dress up and be the centre of attention, she loved hair and make up. Whereas Clarke just kind of went with the flow of things, but it was her birthday tomorrow and it would be the first time she would socialise with people since her relapse...

"Hell, come on then" she smiled giving in.

Octavia's smile doubled in size as she started to rifle through her wardrobe to find Clarke 'the' outfit.

It was 11.58pm and Clarke and Octavia were downstairs, bundled in a fluffy blanket.

"Any last words before you finally become an adult Griffin".

" Uh... " Clarke stammered, her mind went blank as she couldn't think of anything to say, Octavia was the one who could make witty comments on the spot, Clarke not so much.

Octavia grabbed Clarke's hand, hoisting her off the sofa " HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRIFFIN " she shouted at the top of her lungs, before handing her a present box with a perfectly wrapped bow.

She nudged Clarke " Go on... open it ".

Clarke took the bag in her hands, delicately unwrapping the ribbon, as she fished around the bag until her hand landed on a small box. The box was oblong in shape, soft to touch. Clarke glanced at Octavia one last time before tenderly opening the box to reveal a necklace.

A silver necklace, with a small pendant at the bottom, Clarke opened up the pendant, revealing 2 pictures. On the one side, was a family photo of Clarke, her Mom and her Dad. The other side was a picture of Clarke, Aurora, Octavia and Bellamy. On the outside of the pendant, was an embroidered message. Home is where the heart is. It was a Tiffany & Co necklace, that must of cost a fortune, but Clarke couldn't bring herself to moan, instead she hugged Octavia tightly.

"I love it " she whispered into her raven locks.

Clarke felt Octavia breathe a sigh of relief, as she took the necklace out of the box, Octavia fixing the clasp as the necklace hung off Clarke's neck, falling just above her heart.

Her fingers stroked the pendant, smiling at Octavia before they settled back into the sofa.

 

" I must say Bellamy, these birthday breakfasts get better every year " Abby laughed, as she tucked into the spread of food.

" Uh, thanks Mrs Griffin " he coughed back in between mouthfuls.

Clarke sat next to him, as she reached over to grab some more toast, he held his breath until she withdrew her arm, hands full of pieces of toast.

" Thanks for this Bell, I always love my birthday breakfasts" she grinned.

Octavia hummed in agreement as they ate in a pleasant silence.

Once they'd finished eating and the table had been cleared, Bellamy excused himself.

" Uh... I'm off out now. I need to see Gina " he swallowed thickly.

Clarke felt the urge to roll her eyes, it was her birthday. Did he really have to go? But then she remembered he has a girlfriend and it's completely fine for him to want to see his girlfriend.

Abby also excused herself " I need to go and see Marcus about some plans for the hospital. I'll see you later sweetheart" she embraced Clarke, before planting a kiss on her cheeks.

"Happy Birthday " she squeezed Clarke's shoulder before following Bellamy out of the door.

Clarke's heart sank, it was her birthday and nearly all the people who mean most to her had left her already at it wasn't even midday.

Octavia occupied Clarke the best she could, whilst across the road Bellamy was hard at work sorting out the griffins house.

Gina joined him, her arms carrying the dozen bags from the day before, as they started to decorate Clarke's house. Abby went out to fetch the birthday cake as Bellamy got to work in the garden.

After a couple of hours, the garden had been transformed into what Bellamy could only describe as a piece of heaven.

He'd made a huge fire pit in the middle of garden, chairs surrounding it. There were inflatables in the pool, with a huge BBQ grill off the side of the pool. He'd hung hammocks off the many tree's in the griffins garden, bean bags and blankets spread out across the acres of lawn. A mini bar that wasn't really mini at all was just off the porch, speaker's scattered along the garden as fairy lights lit up the whole of the garden, right down to the bottom where the garden over looked the lake.

A gazebo filled with rainfall lights that had everyone's favourite pictures of and with Clarke hanging from them. There was an area to dance, a photo booth and a projector screen which Bellamy had decided would be an outdoor cinema.

He wiped the beads of sweat that dripped from his curls as Abby walked out the back, stopping in surprise.

"Wow, Bellamy. This is amazing, she's going to love it " she gasped.

Abby Griffin didn't get impressed about anything, ever. But what Bellamy had done in only a few hours left her speechless. She placed Clarke's cake on the food table, before rushing over to Bellamy. She held him close, he could feel her smiling against his neck.

"Thankyou" she whispered, before she stepped away, straightening her jacket before opening her back gates, as Clarke's friends started to file in. Many of them started to help lay the food out and add the last finishing touches to the garden.

Bellamy walked back through the house, as Gina hung the last banner up.

"You done?" she smiled breathlessly.

He nodded back " Thankyou for helping, I owe you one" he kissed her forehead.

Gina shook her head "If she's special to you, she's special to me".

They both walked upstairs making use of the griffin's many bathroom as they both parted ways to go and get ready. As the warm water hit Bellamy's skin, he stilled she's special to me the look of realisation hit him as he put the shower on full.

He put his hand out, leaning on the tiles as the water ran over his face to try and get Clarke out of his head. Frustrated when that didn't work he wiped his hands over his face, eyes fleeting around the room as if looking for a sign.

He had Gina and he really, really liked Gina and Clarke well... Clarke was Clarke miles out of league but most importantly, recovering and he'd be damned if he was going to intercept her recovery and only reverse it.

Bellamy didn't know how to love, not properly and there's no way he'd trial his feelings with Clarke; the prospect of hurting her and potentially loosing her is something he won't ever be prepared to do. So he knocked off the shower, drying himself off because rejoining Gina downstairs.

He hugged her a little forcefully to which she replied "What's this for?".

"Nothing" he whispered "I'm just glad your here".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, first of all I'm so sorry for the huge delay in posting this chapter.  
> This chapter started on a very sad note but I'm hoping the mood got lighter as you all read on.  
> I hope your all on the same page about Clarke now - I thought I'd try and at least cover her past (about her Dad).  
> Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter!  
> All love x


	7. Chapter 7

"Clarke, god dammit stop moving" Octavia huffed as she pushed down on Clarke's shoulders, sending her back onto the floor.

 Clarke rolled her eyes "O, you've been doing my hair and make up for ages. The club will be shut before we get there" Clarke groaned, taking a sip of her coke, being careful not to smudge the lipstick Octavia had spent a lifetime perfecting.

“Stop whining griffin, I'm nearly done".

Clarke stared at the wall for so long her eyes started to water causing Octavia to shriek "Clarke don't you dare, your eyes took me the longest" before thrusting a tissue under her eyes.

After a few more minutes of last minute prodding and poking, Octavia took a step back to admire her work "Holy shit, you look amazing".

"Wow, O. I'm. This is. Wow. Shit. I look hot" Clarke stood surveying Octavia's handy work in the mirror.

“Happy Birthday Clarke" Octavia whispered, as she began snapping pictures of Clarke "Yessss, work it griffin work it" she grinned as Clarke began to do a rather enthusiastic catwalk.

Octavia glanced at her watch, it was 7.30, shit they were supposed to be there at 7.

“Ugh, Clarke we better get going, your Mom wants you to pop back home to give you her present before we head out" her hands rushing around stuffing things into her bag "C'mon, now" she pulled Clarke away from the mirror, rushing down the stairs.

The sun was starting to set, but the Griffin household was in complete darkness. "O, I don't think my Moms home?"

"She is, she told me she would be" Octavia held her breath, _please don't ruin this plan, we're so close_ she prayed.

Clarke fumbled in her bag for her keys, she turned the lock, opened the door. The house was silent and even the upstairs was in complete darkness "Octavia, she isn't home, c'mon it's fine lets get out of here" Clarke turned to head back to the door.

”No wait, I hear something" Octavia lied.

Her brows furrowed "Octavia, what's going on?".

She followed Octavia's steps towards the back of the house, but then she disappeared and Clarke suddenly felt very creeped out. She paced slowly through the kitchen, the back door was open, a ray of light peeping through the crack. Clarke swallowed before pulling the door back wide.

“SURPRISE GRIFFIN" A chorus of people bellowed loudly. Her eye's scanned the crowd, her heart beating rapidly as she recognised all of her friends, her eye's landing on Octavia who was standing next to Abby the pair of them smiling coyly at her.

As the crowd began to part to say their hellos to Clarke and wish her a happy birthday, she allowed herself to take in her back yard. Yet it wasn't her backyard, it was like a piece of heaven. Delicate fairy lights illuminated the entire garden, one side was covered with bean bags and hammocks, the other full of food, streamers, balloons and alcohol. There was an outdoor cinema screen that was playing home video's of Clarke as a kid with her Dad.

_Her Dad._

Her heart swelled, breath hitching as her eye's began to blur but not of sadness, of happiness. It was Clarke's first steps and she was walking, well _stumbling_ towards her Dad. Her arms waving about at her side happily, her Dad's face lit up as she crashed into his arms, before scooping her up into a hug.

"That's my girl" he cheered. A lump formed in Clarke's throat as she pried her eye's away from the screen to take in everything else.

“It's beautiful isn't it" Abby appeared at her daughters side. Clarke couldn't speak, instead settling for a slow nod.

Abby placed her hand on her daughters shoulder "Make sure you thank him Clarke".

Clarke frowned turning to face her Mom "Thank who?" Normally Abby would just pay an event planner to organise one of the Griffin parties.

“Bellamy" Abby's warm eyes drifted to where Bellamy was conveniently stepping outside the house.

Clarke spun around her eyes greeting his with a glow. He was wearing her favourite top, a tight fitting black one that clung to his muscular arms, with a pair of jeans and she could already smell his cologne. Her feet started to move, her mind not quite catching up as she ran briskly in heels towards him. The nearer she got to him, the bigger and brighter her smile became.

She flung herself into his arms, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck breathing in his familiar scent as Bellamy stumbled back at the force Clarke came at him with. He took a second to steady them both before he wrapped his arms around her back, her feet hovering above the floor.

"Bellamy, I love it. I... I" Clarke became incompetent of forming any words because there weren't enough words in the universe to explain how she felt.

 She felt him chuckle warmly against her neck, "Happy Birthday Princess"his breath warm as it blew on her skin.

 She took a small step back, still keeping her arms firmly around his neck "Thank you Bellamy, this is. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" it came out breathless.

Bellamy was so wrapped up in the moment, he blurted out "Your the most beautiful thing I've ever seen".

She unwrapped herself from around his neck in shock, giving him a short nod before walking away to mingle with her guests.

She didn't speak to Bellamy for the rest of the night, their eyes met a few times almost like it was a sixth sense that the other was looking at them. She opened her cards and gifts, cut her cake, danced, sang, took a billion photos and then took a seat by the fire.

The crackling of the flames drowned out the sound of Jasper being sick in her Mom's rose bush, Clarke began to survey the yard. 

As the party started to die down and people started to leave, Clarke went into her room to get changed into something more comfortable. She settled for a pair of pink short shorts with golden princess crowns scattered on them, with the matching pink t shirt of a big golden grown, with the words 'princess' written on the back in big golden letters, she scoffed at her reflection in the mirror before finding the humour in the clothes Bellamy had gotten her only a couple of months ago.

****

"Hey Griffin" he shouted, plopping himself on the couch as he heard her feet pad across the landing and down the stairs in an angry fashion. 

"What is it now Bellamy, need me to check if your still an asshole?" she asked bitterly. 

They'd fallen out two days ago and Bellamy still didn't understand why, was she really _that_ pissed that she'd caught him with another girl wearing one of Octavia's jumpers? He swears O didn't even like it anymore.

_"Bell what the fuck" her body stilled as she came face to face with a shirtless Bellamy and a small framed girl wrapped up in his arms wearing Octavia's jumper. Clarke's mouth remained open a jar, as she tried to process the sight in front of her._ _Bellamy with a girl who was the polar **opposite** in looks to Clarke and that was the final nail in the coffin for her - he's never going to see me like that and fuck it punctured a hole in her heart._

_"Shit Clarke, don't tell O I've let someone wear this hoodie but we both got a little uh- the shower's broke and it soaked both of us- not that we were uh together in the shower but like yeah anyways, don't tell O okay" he begged before leading the girl into his room and shutting the door behind him._

She didn't speak to him after that, ignoring his texts and ignoring him face to face - she was secretly happy he seemed to care so much but then she remembers why she's _actually_ mad and why he _thinks_ she's mad and she'd become deflated all over again.

"I bought you something" he swallowed and she became distracted by the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. He held out the bag and she took it hesitantly before pulling out it's contents.

She grimaced as the pink fabric came into view and pretended to vomit when she saw 'princess' covered all over it "Is this meant to be a joke Bellamy?" she scoffed, throwing the clothing back into the bag.

"What?! No, it's a present" he seemed offended, snatching the bag back off her defensively. 

"What? It's funny that you think I'm a princess" she huffed.

"Clarke" he whined, god the way he said her name drove her crazy "I don't think your a Princess in a horrible way, your just perfect like a princess and I saw them when I went shopping and they just reminded me of you and I uh- I never buy presents but I figured it was for you and I'm sorry about the other day and just take the damn clothes" he sighed "for me" he pouted, pushing the bag towards her.

She accepted it reluctantly, trying not to focus of the fact he'd call her _perfect,_ because falling for Bellamy Blake is a dangerous game that she knew she was bound to loose, but _those_ words coming from _his_ mouth just lead her straight to the lions den.

***

She walked bare foot along the grass, dodging empty bottles and pieces of food. Once she reached the end of the garden, she jumped over the back gate, before settling onto the bench that over looked the lake. It was a clear night and she looked up at the stars scattered across the sky, eventually drifting into a daze. 

Such a daze she didn't notice somebody had joined her until she heard them cough politely to get her attention.

It was Bellamy.

Clarke huddled up the bench to make room for him. He sat next to her, a blanket and a flask of hot chocolate tucked under his arms.

“You came prepared" Clarke smirked, he was such a giant nerd.

He tried to push down the smile that crept onto his face, but it was no good. He spread the blanket out over the two of them, before pouring Clarke some hot chocolate, she took the mug from him bringing it to her lips as she inhaled the smell.

“You doing alright?" he asked.

Clarke kept her gaze on the lake "Uh, yeah I'm doing good... thanks".

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him nod in response. "I'm glad your feeling better Clarke". 

He didn't use her name often but when he did she never wanted him to stop saying it. 

"Thank you, for organising all of this. It's one of the nicest things anyone's ever done for me" she tucked her chin into her neck, trying to hide her smile. 

“One of the nicest things? Not _the_ nicest?" he cocked his head to the side, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.  

She rolled her eyes, letting out a soft chuckle "You know what I mean".

"I do" he replied.

 They sat in a comfortable silence both staring out towards the lake, the gentle breeze making the tree's bustle next to them. A few minutes had passed before Bellamy eventually broke the silence.

 "So uh, I got you something" he declared.

 Clarke's eyes darted to the gift bag he placed on her lap, he kept his attention on the lake, but she could tell he was nervous by the way his shoulders were tense and the way he wouldn't look at her as she began to open the bag. 

"Bellamy, I can't accept this... You've already done enough" Clarke pushed the bag towards him, but his hand moved swiftly pushing the bag back towards her.

 "Open it" he nodded.

Clarke placed her hand inside the bag, feeling multiple objects under her finger tips. She pulled out one box out, placing it on her lap. She studied the box, trying to find some indication of what it could be. But Bellamy was clever, he'd got rid of any evidence that would help Clarke figure out what her present was.

She looked at him one last time, before taking the lid off the first box. Inside were two tickets to the new art Museum in TonDC.

"Bellamy... what the hell?! Nobody could get these tickets, they sold out within 10 minutes. How the. How the hell did you?!" Clarke gasped. 

"I have my ways" he grinned sheepishly.

He’d also got her favourite cupcakes from the small bakery across the other side of town, her very own perfume “I created it myself” he added, his cheeks beginning to redden. There was a ton of other things inside the bag, each one making Clarke feel more and more queezy.

He really did care. 

Her final present he'd hidden behind the bench, a brand new easel with some new chalk and paint. It was expensive, Clarke knew this because she'd been looking at the same easel for weeks.

"Bellamy, I can't believe you got all of this" her arms waving over her array of presents "for me" she gasped.

“I've known you since you were two feet tall, your such a big part of my life you know? But don't worry I've been saving since I was 10 for O's big birthdays, so she'll get just a little more than you" he grinned, his fingers pinching together leaving a small gap inbetween for affect.

"Bellamy? Bell are you out here" A voice called out from by the house, their eye's broke apart, it wasn't just any voice. It was Gina's.

"Oh shit is that the time?!" Bellamy glanced at his wrist, they'd been sat out for awhile.

"You coming with me?" he stretched out his arm, offering her his hand.

She slipped her fingers through his, as he pulled her up "Jheeze Bell, did you have to buy me the heaviest easel in the world" she groaned, manoeuvring her body to take the weight. 

"Griffin do you _ever_ stop whining?" he asked playfully.

She pushed him with her free hand playfully "come on".

Gina was sitting at a table with Abby and Octavia. They'd attempted to start cleaning, but all three of them were sitting down, hunched over looking like literal zombies.

Gina smiled a weakly at them both, her eye's surveying the bundle of presents in both Clarke and Bellamy's arms. Clarke suddenly felt very awkward, in her own back yard.

"Hey O, help me take these inside?". Octavia nodded, yawning as she stretched her arms before gesturing for Bellamy to hand over the things he was carrying.

"Uh, yeah Gina we better get going" he nodded, turning to face Clarke, his smile not quite reaching his eyes.

"Night Clarke, I hope you enjoyed your birthday".

“I did, Thankyou... Thankyou both for coming" she made sure to look at Gina, who smiled back politely before she pulled on Bellamy's arm to go.

He nodded his head to Clarke before taking Gina's hand and walking out the back gate. Clarke stared longingly at Bellamy’s hand that was intertwined with Gina’s, remembering how that was her hand only moments ago. 

Bellamy glanced back one last time as he closed the gate behind him, his mouth parted but he never said anything, he just turned back around and walked straight out the door.

Clarke stood in her garden, a gush of wind snapping her back into reality as she ran inside into the warmth. She placed her presents at the end of her bed before sinking down next to Octavia.

“Gina was so fucking pissed" Octavia mumbled inbetween the sheets.

Clarke sighed "Why?".

“Whenever she see's you and my brother together she just.. " Octavia's hands made an explosion gesture.

Clarke lay her head back on the pillows "He's my friend O, she's his girlfriend I'm sure she wins".

Octavia snorted "Your not _just_ his friend Clarke, look at what he did for you. For _you,_ even I was surprised. I'll give him credit, he really worked his ass off all day... for you" she quipped.

 Clarke yawned, signally to Octavia she was too tired to speak about Bellamy and Gina.

 "Night Griffin"

 "Night Blake" she mumbled, before pulling the covers over her head, hoping to escape Octavia and Gina and Bellamy _fucking_ Blake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay - so I've actually prewritten the next 6 chapters and oh my god. I'm so excited for you guys to see where I'm going with this!!!  
> Thanks for the continued support & comments.  
> Isn't Bell the sweetest little nugget. ahhh


	8. Chapter 8

“Girls breakfast is nearly ready” Abby called out.

Octavia grunted rolling over so her back was to the door as Clarke yawned, her body rising as if to get up before falling back onto the pillows. Her hand batted out blindly for her phone, it was only 9.00am. Clarke frowned, her Mom **never** cooked breakfast.

She sat up, reading through her notifications as she didn’t have much chance to yesterday. She read through people’s birthday wishes to her, texts from her relatives.

One text stuck out because she didn’t have the number saved.

_Where was my invite to your party??!!!_

 Attached was a photo of Roan pouting, Clarke contained a laugh as she added him to her contacts before typing back a quick reply. 

_Bellamy organised it. Not me_

She sent the bobbing tongue out emoji for good measure before opening up her texts with Bellamy.

_Thanks again for well, everything. Your the best Bell X_

She threw her phone on the bed before turning her attention to Octavia "O, c'mon get up" she pulled the covers off Octavia's head, shaking her until she gave Clarke a reasonably lively response. 

"Clarke its like really early, can't I just sleep for five more minutes" she groaned.

 "Girls" Abby shouted, a tad stern.

 Their eyes met before mutually deciding to crawl out of bed.

Abby had made a full English breakfast, with towers of toast and pancakes "Whoa, Mrs G what's all this for" Octavia's eyes wide at the sight of food.

Abby gestured for the girls to sit before taking a seat at the table herself "I know you both leave for college next week and well I'm going to miss you. Both of you, and I wanted to have one last breakfast together, the three of us" Abby smiled, but her eyes were tinged with a raw sadness and it made Clarke feel guilty for opting to live on campus.

Clarke placed her hand over her Mom's, giving it a gentle squeeze " We're going to miss you to".

 Once they'd finished breakfast, Octavia jumped in the shower leaving Clarke to her own devices. Her phone buzzed, it was Roan.

_Well that explains it then. He feels threatened around me and my good lucks ;)_

She clicked off the chat, not wanting to text back _too_ quickly. She was scrolling through her news feed when a picture caught her attention. It was posted by Bellamy a loved up picture of him and Gina. The caption read THIS GIRL  <3.

Clarke paused, staring at the photo with a blank face. The way Bellamy looked at Gina in this photo was a way he'd _never_ looked at her. She chewed the bottom of her lip, after all he did for her yesterday she thought that maybe, just maybe he liked her. Like he'd crossed the line of 'just friends',  everything he'd bought her, down to every last detail he'd planned for her party was like a gesture of his love for her.

When they were together on their own, she felt it. This burning fire yearning between them and she forgets in that moment he has Gina. She feels shitty, knowing she shouldn't think of Bellamy in that way but she can't help it. She checked her texts again, no message from Bellamy. _Wow_. He'd ignored her.

She was brought back to reality by the sound of the hairdryer, Octavia now fresh out of the shower looking full of life and Clarke couldn't help but feel jealous of how naturally beautiful she was.

Octavia noticed her staring "Like what you see Griffin" she grinned, smacking her ass. Clarke didn't say anything back, she just rolled her eyes before typing out a text to Roan.

_Very, your definitely better than him ;)_

She felt kinda guilty, because no matter what Bellamy did or who he sees she will always find him the most attractive person she’d ever laid her eyes on. He was intoxicating and she needed to start weening herself off of him.

She liked Roan, not in the lets get married and have kids way. More like he's fun and he makes her laugh. A lot.

* * *

Today was the day that Octavia and Clarke were finally leaving home to go to college. Whilst the girls were full of excitement and buzzing from the adrenaline rush of starting somewhere new, Bellamy and Abby were the complete opposite.

Abby had taken to looking through Clarke’s baby photos, staring at them longingly. She even took a week off work, which is something Abby 'workaholic' Griffin never did. She spent Clarke’s final week at home, they enjoyed each others company, which only made it tougher for Abby to let go. She paid for all the things their apartment needed, no expense spared for either of them, they were _her_ girls after all.

Abby had been seeing professor Kane for a couple of months and they were finally taking the plunge and moving in together. So Clarke’s departure was softened for Abby by having Kane’s presence at the house with her, Clarke was happy her Mom wouldn't be alone. But Bellamy on the other hand was loosing his damn mind. Their college was an hour and a half away, in the heart of TonDC, which was an hour and a half to _far_ for Bellamy. He spent Octavia's last few days suffocating her with affection, spending every last second with her. He hadn't seen Clarke since her birthday and whenever he texted her it wouldn't send. He'd even bit the bullet and asked Octavia if Clarke had changed her number.

"No she hasn't. Why? Is she blanking you for Roan" Octavia snorted, a look of accomplishment on her face when she saw the twitch in his cheek.

Clarke would tell me if she was seeing Roan. Wouldn't she? Bellamy pondered, convinced they were in a good place and of course she'd tell him if she was seeing one of his _friends_. 

As he began to haul Octavia's things into the back of the car he saw Clarke's reflection in the window. "Hey" she played with her hands nervously attempting to not making eye contact with him.

Bellamy dropped the suitcase on the floor "Hey".

Clarke stuttered, things felt weird between then. Awkward.

"So how's things with Roan?" Bellamy asked, hoping he didn't come off to abrupt.

Clarke pulled a face "With Roan?" she gestured for him to elaborate. He cleared his throat "Uh, yeah Octavia sai-"

"Oh did she now" Clarke cocked her eyebrow up "Sorry to disappoint but there is no me _and_ Roan. We're friends, we speak now and again" she folded her arms across her chest.

"Oh right, I was uh... only asking" he nodded, before turning back to load up Octavia's cases.

"I really like that picture, of you and Gina. You look so in love. I did text you that day, but you were busy. I get it" She mumbled before rushing off back towards her house.

He stilled pausing in thought, Gina had uploaded that photo on his account and he never saw any damn text from Clarke. His screwed his face up in confusion, trying to figure out what Clarke meant but eventually he became preoccupied by Octavia and her checklists.

15 suitcases and one car journey later the girls were settling into their home for the next two years, they'd still get to come home every weekend - so not all bad.

Because Abby was so picky on where the girls would stay she opted for a 3 bed apartment and listed the third room for rent. Somebody accepted, a girl the same age as Clarke and Octavia but that's all they knew.

It was time to say goodbye, Abby held Clarke close "I love you so much" she whispered into her hair "I love you too Mom". The moment felt very bittersweet, this was the first time Clarke had ever stayed away from home and she hoped her Mom would be okay without her there. 

Abby gave Octavia a hug, before leaving them and Bellamy in the room. Clarke went to leave to give them space to say goodbye when Bellamy grabbed her arm, pulling her into a tight hug in one swift motion.

"I'll see you soon princess" his voice was thick with emotion "I'll miss you" Clarke whispered, before pulling herself away and walking out the door.

On the stairwell she bumped into somebody carrying a box twice their size, it dropped on the floor with a thud; the contents spilling on the stairwell.

"Shit, sorry... here let me help you" Clarke began to put bits of clothing back into the box when she finally saw the face of the person she'd bumped into. She had long brown hair tied up in a high ponytail, her complexion flawless. The girl smiled, but once her eyes had landed on Clarke the smile faded.

"I.. I should go" she began to stumble down the stairs.

"Hey wait" Clarke followed closely behind her.

"Are you moving into apartment 34? That's my apartment, I'm Clarke".

The girls bottom lip quivered "I know who you are".

Clarke frowned, she took another look at the girls face but she didn't recognise her.

"How do you know who I am?" she questioned.

"I'm Raven.. Finn's other girl- ex girlfriend" she swallowed, folding her arms against her chest.

Clarke felt like she'd been slapped, so this was the other girl? Well actually, she herself was the _other_ girl.

"I didn't know about you" Clarke stammered "I swear I didn't".

Raven nodded her head "I know... likewise. Look if this is not okay with you, I can find somewhere else to stay" she gestured between them.

"No" Clarke outstretched her hand to Raven "Please stay".

Clarke helped Raven unload the rest of her things, she learnt she was going to study aerospace physics and she was beyond clever. By the time they'd finished carrying her stuff upstairs Bellamy and Octavia had finally finished their sibling goodbyes. Bellamy smiled at Clarke as she popped her head around the door, but his smile faded when he saw Finn's other girlfriend follow her in.

"What is this" he frowned, his whole demeanour changing.

"This is Raven and she's our other roommate" Clarke's tone was warning him, _play nice Blake_.

Octavia seemed surprisingly cool about it "I'm Octavia. I'm cool with you living here but please tell me you dumped his ugly ass".

"Octavia!" Clarke scolded her.

"No Clarke, it's okay" Raven smiled "I dumped him, we're done. After what he did to me and Clarke, that was it" Raven nodded.

Octavia smiled back. "In that case... Welcome to the family".

Bellamy hugged Octavia one last time before bidding the girls farewell. "See you next weekend big brother" Octavia called out as he shut the door behind him.

The girls settled down, asking Raven some questions to break the ice. They decided she was amazing and she was staying no matter what. They tucked into some pizza, sharing stories about themselves. Raven came from a pretty shit background and had no family except for an Uncle who she said was the best person in the world.

"Don't worry, you have us now" Octavia informed her.

Raven smiled and for the first time in her life she finally felt like she belonged somewhere.

* * *

It had been 5 days since Octavia and Clarke had left and Bellamy's house felt bare without them. He'd invited his friends over and Gina was stopping by after her shift had finished at the local restaurant. Miller, Murphy, Lincoln and Roan made themselves at home, a beer in one hand, slice of pizza in the other.

"So Linc... how's it going with baby Blake?" smirked Murphy.

Lincoln slapped the back of his head "Shut the hell up Murphy".

Bellamy's head snapped up which only spurred Murphy on now he _knew_ he had Bellamy's attention "You were saying the other day she's a good kisse-", Lincoln slapped Murphy's head harder this time.

"My fucking sister?! Really?!" Bellamy rose up from his chair.

"Whoa Blake, calm down. Murphy was just winding him up" Miller put his hand on Bellamy's chest pushing him back into his chair.

"Let's talk about something else, I think me and Griffin are getting very friendly" Roan smugly remarked.

"Don't fuck her around, we all love Clarke. Especially big Blake. Fuck her around he'll fuck you up,then I will and then Murphy will" Miller warned Roan, taking a sideways glance at Bellamy who looked pissed.

"Shit so I can't just fuck her. Damn it, I'm this close to getting her to be a regular one" Roan pinched his fingers together for affect "This _fucking_ close guys".

He was a great guy but he was a bigger player than Bellamy and something inside Bellamy just snapped at him for thinking of Clarke like that.

"She's not like other girls, Clarke different" Bellamy argued "You don't know her".

"I don't go for sluts all the time Blake, I like Clarke. She's interesting" he took a swig of beer, the bottle lingering on his lips "I'm sure her pussy is to". That earned a snort from Murphy and Miller's body seemed to sink futher into the chair as Roan and Bellamy held each others stare.

"Roan I seriously suggest you stop talking" Bellamy muttered.

"Careful Blake, almost sounds like your warning me to stay away" he laughed, he thrived off seeing how Bellamy's entire body language had changed the second he mentioned Clarke.

"I am" Bellamy warned.

"Too bad she thinks I'm better looking than you Blake, guess you really never stood a chance" Roan added, feeling triumphant at hitting Bellamy where it hurt - his looks.

His words caught Bellamy off guard "Yeah right" he scoffed.

"Oh she did, wanna see the message?" Roan offered, scrambling for his phone, he was trying to wind Bellamy up and it was working.

"Fuck off" He muttered, walking into the kitchen before he said something he'd regret.

Gina came in around 5 minutes after, hugging him from behind. He spun around, kissing her forehead.

"Hey" she smiled breathlessly.

"Hey".

"Miller said you might be in a mood, what's up?" She asked, stroking his cheek in concern.

He flinched under her touch, god he liked Gina he did. But the mention of Clarke just filled his head with blue eyes and blonde hair.

She noticed his off behaviour "Has something happened?".

"No, no. Just Roan being Roan. He was talking about Clarke and I just-" Bellamy stopped as he watched Gina frown at the mention of Clarke.

"He fucks people around and I'm not going to let him do that to her".

Gina nodded slowly, she didn't say anything, she turned away from him.

Bellamy tensed his jaw "Did you delete a text from Clarke?".

"What?! Why would I-" Gina stammered.

"I don't know, why would you?" Bellamy raised his voice, he wasn't pissed at Gina she was just there, wrong place, wrong time.

"I just..I" she looked at him, tears spilling from her eyes "I just god. Your always Clarke this and Clarke that and I just, I'm your girlfriend Bellamy and whenever Clarke is around you I feel like I don't exist", she wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Bellamy swallowed, Gina's words weighing heavily on him.

"Gina... I'm sorry" he pulled her in close, shutting his eyes tightly in frustration.

"I'm sorry" he cut in "Move in with me". He liked Gina and she made him laugh and most importantly she loved him. Not just his looks or his body, she loved him and nobody had ever taken the time to get to know him, to love him; but she had. He owed her that much, owed her enough to try and make this work. To leave Clarke behind. He was prepared to try, because no matter what Clarke would never feel the same.

Gina's eyes widened in shock "Are you serious?!".

"I am, Gina move in with me" he gave her a hopefully smile.

She screamed "Yes" He hoisted her up twirling her around, before planting her feet firmly on the ground, taking off to go and share the news.

* * *

"Oh my fucking god" Octavia whispered "Bell's asked Gina to move in to _our_ house" the volume of her shaky voice rising quickly. 

The girls conversation stopped dead, the room feeling electric. 

Octavia’s brows were furrowed as she shakily thrusted her phone in front of a very disbelieving Raven and Clarke but when their lips recited the words on the screen, the reality began to sink in.

“What” Clarke snapped, grabbing her phone automatically in the hope Bellamy had messaged her about it, but she crashed and burned as quickly as she’d been hopeful when her screen showed up no new messages. She threw her phone back down into the floor, trying her best not to feel angry. Angry he didn’t talk to her about it, angry he never mentioned it to her.

“I can't believe he didn't even ask me. I mean I live... well do live there, part time" Octavia threw her hands in the air in frustration.

“Regardless O, it’s your Moms house and he should of discussed it with you” Raven sighed, before adding rather rightly “what an asshole” 

“Clarke did he say anything to you?!” Octavia snapped. 

Clarke knew Octavia didn’t mean to direct her anger towards her but she couldn’t help but flinch at her harsh tone “No... he didn’t” she bit on her lip, a very common Griffin mannerism that they did when feeling one emotion but trying to show another. Clarke was hurt that Bellamy hadn’t mentioned this to her, hadn’t confided in her the way he _always_ did. That struck a cord with her and she couldn’t shake the feeling she had finally lost one of her best friends.

He hadn’t mentioned something that in retrospect was a big deal, another new chapter in his life and for the first time she was in the dark about it and it gnawed at every insecurity she had. But she knew how selfish and stupid she sounded and she knew she needed to be there for Octavia, because after all it was her _home_ , her _brother_ , her _everything_. So Clarke did what she did best, she sucked it up and held Octavia tightly until the room fell silent. 

Just three girls hugging it out, together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gina and Bellamy moving in together? Is it a pity party or does he really like her? Hmm..  
> On another note incase you’ve read this before and you can see I’ve changed some chapters etc I’m reworking the story and the chapter 11 will be completely new. Chapter 10 is kinda the same as before, but again I’ve tweaked it!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO GUYS  
> SORRY IF I FREAKED YOU OUT THINKING ID UPDATED...  
> I'VE DELETED SOME CHAPTERS COS YIKES THEY WERE SHOCKING  
> GONNA UPDATE TOMORROW...  
> I'M CHANGING THE THEME / WAY OF THE STORY  
> HOPE YOU ENJOYYYYYY

The week had flown by with a mixture of whirlwind classes, takeaways and the least amount of sleep any of the girls had ever had.

Period.

Clarke and Octavia were packing a small bag to take home with them but they noticed Raven hadn’t moved to start packing. “Are you not going home?” Octavia asked.

Clarke hit her back, trying to be discreet as she whispered "It's none of our business O".

“Griffin it's fine I'm not leaving, this is my _home_ now” Raven smiled but there was a tinge of sadness in her voice as she stared at the girls and their packed bags.

Clarke and Octavia shared a quick look “Why don't you come home with us, you can stay at my place? My Mom will _love_ you” Clarke suggested.

Raven, taken aback by the generous offer didn't reply at first her brown eyes wide as she eventually asked “Are you serious?”.

“Of cause I am” Clarke responded meaningfully.  

"Uh, yeah sure. Thanks Clarke" she stuttered, before walking rather quickly into her room to pack a bag, Raven waited until the door was closed behind her before her face broke out into a smile of relief - _they really did care._

Abby arrived to pick up the girls and Raven introduced herself whilst trying to play it cool as she admired the electronics of Abby's 4x4 Audi. They talked amongst themselves for the majority of the car journey about Raven’s course and Abby seemed super invested in the conversation and Raven couldn’t help but feel special that somebody really, genuinely cared about what she wanted to do with her future.

Abby pulled up outside the Griffin house hold and Raven snorted “Holy shit you live here?!” She quickly covered her mouth, shooting Abby an apologetic look.

Abby merely laughed, taking the bags out of the boot “Raven, it’s okay. Come on inside, pick which room you’d like”.

Octavia thanked Abby for the ride home, before parting ways with the girls and walking over to her house. She saw her bright blue picket fence and it felt like she’d never been away, that was until her eye’s landed on the heap of fresh dirt where originally her Mom’s maple tree used to be. It had been there since Octavia could remember and her front yard felt bare and unwelcoming without it. Confused, she entered the house dropping her bag at the bottom of the stairs and that's when she noticed a tower of trash bags piled high blocking the stairs.

Odd.

 _Very_ **odd**.

Being the naturally inquisitive person she is Octavia started to rifle through the bags. It was mostly old clothes, books and games, but more significantly it was  _her_ old clothes, books and games. Each piece of clothing Octavia pulled out of the bag belonged to her, each one also meant a great deal to her. As her fingers ran over the familiar textures of comfort, memories started to stir in her head. These weren’t just old clothes, one was her favourite blanket that her Mom had knitted for her as a child and her first ballerina outfit that Bellamy had saved up for 6 months to buy for her, that she used to wear every day after school.

A raging storm cloud that was infact Octavia burst into the kitchen, the door bouncing back towards her violently after hitting the wall with enough force that it startled Bellamy and Gina who were preparing food.

“Why the fuck is this in some trash bag, why is it being treated like it's not important?!” Octavia snapped, shoving her blanket in front of Bellamy’s bewildered face.

It took a second for it to click what she was talking about before he started to grovel “Shit, sorry O. We were cleaning out, I didn’t realise. I’m sorry, you know I'd never throw away something like that” Bellamy looked genuinely remorseful, distraught even, at the thought of throwing something away that meant so much to Octavia and to some degree a great deal to him too.

“We just figured if you’d left it behind you didn’t want it” Gina interrupted, which only angered Octavia more, _what the fuck has this got to do with her._

“This… this is your fault” her body spun to face Gina head on.

“How is this Gina’s fault?” Bellamy frowned, jumping to the defence of Gina “She wasn’t to know what that blanket was” he defended.

He's fucking acting like this is nothing Octavia thought, she took a deep breath before her mouth began to move, spitting a venomous reply “Exactly Bell that’s my point. She _doesn’t_  fucking know, so why the hell did _you_ allow her to go through my shit and more importantly why are you acting like this is okay" she gestured from the blanket to Gina's stunned face "If I hadn't of come home this weekend, this would be gone... Forever. Do you get that?! Do you even care?".

“O, of course I care- it was just a mistake. You have it back so there's no harm done, right?". You could see the panic in his eyes as he gave Octavia a knowing look _'please don't be like this'_   he was begging, she could see it written all over his face.

"No harm done huh?" Octavia scoffed, the anger was rolling off her in 10ft high waves; aiming straight for Gina who hadn't looked up once.

"You don't touch my stuff, again. Ever. I swear to god, if you ever do I will-".

"Octavia that's enough" Bellamy snapped, surprising even himself at the harsh tone he'd used with his sister.

He never used her full name, not unless she'd really upset him. Octavia flinched at his volume; she wasn’t used to him shouting at her either. “Bellamy Blake who the hell are you” Octavia flung her arms in the air in desperation “You’ve never wanted to have a clear out, **ever**. Then _she_ comes along and suddenly your whole opinion changes” Octavia pointed a shaky finger at Gina.

Bellamy wished the ground would swallow him whole “Octavia, _she_ has a name and it's Gina”.

“My bed isn’t even cold and she couldn’t wait to move in here and start changing things. Getting rid of things, my fucking things. She’s wiping me and Mom from existence" Octavia bit back.

She looked at him, pleading with him to understand but he just seemed to disregard her completely. “Octavia, that’s enough. Don’t speak to or about Gina like that. I decided to have a clear out and _Gina_ was kind enough to help me, it was a mistake okay. Just a fucking mistake” Bellamy really snapped at her, she bit her bottom lip hard, drawing blood; knowing if she replied right now whatever vicious words she spat at him would have a detrimental aftermath.

She inhaled as slowly as possible, composing herself “You know what Bell, I'm done with this. Don't speak to me again, unless it's to agree with me” her tone was robotic, her eyes looking away in defeat as she turned on her heel before pausing "Oh and Bell... I really hope _she_ is worth falling out with me for" she swallowed before walking away.

She walked slowly in the hope he'd come after her, but unlike their many arguments before, he never came.

Clarke was in the middle of showing Raven her art work when Octavia burst through the door, tears streaming down her cheeks “O, what the hell happened?!”

Octavia threw herself into Clarke and Raven’s arms as the girls huddled around her for support. She began mumbling sporadically about Bellamy and Gina, she paused coming up for air before asking “Can I stay here?”.

Clarke wiped a runaway tear off Octavia’s jaw “You never have to ask O, of course you can”. Raven shot Octavia a sympathetic look before taking her hand and squeezing it.

“My brothers an ass and his girlfriends an even bigger one” Octavia muttered which made Clarke laugh and within seconds all three of them were laughing, Octavia's tears starting to ease off.

An hour later they were sat in the garden “I still can’t believe this is your house” Raven sighed, her eyes overlooking the acres of land.

“It’s your home too you know, you’re welcome here anytime” Clarke _meant_  it. "Thanks Clarke" Raven replied, a fondness already growing between the two.

They settled back into a comfortable silence, aside from the continuous buzzing that came from Octavia's phone; it was Bellamy and she chose to keep ignoring him, much to the aggravation of Clarke and Raven who were just trying to chill out.

“O, just answer the god damn phone. Say you’re staying here and then he won’t keep calling” Clarke sighed.

"He didn't want to talk earlier so why the hell should I speak to him now? He knows exactly where I am Clarke" Octavia replied, her finger hitting decline for the tenth time.

"Octavia, either answer the phone or I will. Either that or I throw it in the lake" Raven groaned.

“Clarke... will you go and speak to him, tell him to get his head out Gina's?” her voice laced with an equal balance of sarcasm _and_ seriousness.

Clarke fought an internal battle with herself because normally she would play the mediator between the two siblings, but her relationship with Bellamy was already currently strained and with Gina on the scene she really didn’t feel okay with getting in the middle of things.

“Gina won’t be there, if that’s what you’re thinking about. Her shift started 5 minutes ago” Octavia smirked confidently, knowing Clarke couldn't give her that excuse.

She scowled at Octavia in defeat “Fine, but you owe me”.

She left the girls to mellow in the sun making her way over to the Blake’s house. She noticed the pile of dirt outside their house and god it looked so weird, their front garden had never not had the famous Blake Maple tree in it. She shook her head, trying to keep on course for the matter at hand. She knocked twice, feeling weird that she hadn't just let herself in like she normally would.

The door swung open within seconds Bellamy's smile began to falter realising it was Clarke and not Octavia. "She told you then".

Clarke dodged past him taking a seat in the lounge, hoping this wouldn't take long.

"Come on then Griffin, hit me with it" he sighed as he fiddled with a loose thread on his jean pocket.

"What that your an ass and Gina's a bigger one" Clarke fired back, "Sorry... I shouldn't have bought Gina into that" she mumbled, hoping she hadn't crossed the line.

"It's okay Clarke... I just wish she'd speak to me, she has to know Gina didn't do anything on purpose" he asked.

"Bellamy, we're bes- we're friends and I'm going to be straight with you. You've moved Gina in and never thought to consult Octavia on the matter. You allowed Gina to go through her things, which neither one of you had any right to do; but especially someone who doesn't even know Octavia. But that's on you Bellamy. I know this thing with Gina is new and I'm guessing your finding it difficult having Gina in your life while still trying to be a big brother to Octavia but remember what you said Octavia _always_ comes first" She knew she'd hit home with that because she saw the punch to the gut her words had given him.

"But Clarke"

"No wait, please just let me finish" she asked "I'm not saying you can't be happy Bellamy. You just need to be respectful of Octavia and her feelings, you seemed concerned for Gina's but never once Octavia's and that's... that's not who you are" Clarke swallowed.

Bellamy seemed to be thinking about what she'd said, but he remained quite so she continued. "Look, I get it she's your girlfriend, whatever. But Octavia is your sister and you can't just expect her to like somebody just because you do. It doesn't work that way, Octavia feels pushed out in her own damn house, your her brother Bellamy" she sighed, when he still didn't respond she rose from her seat but his arm reached out stopping her from leaving the room.

"I'm sorry" he muttered, letting go of her wrist hastily.

"It's okay, we're friends... that's why I'm here" she admitted.

"So now you want to be friends? You blank me on text messages and you seem to hate my girlfriend when she's been nothing but nice to you. She spent her day off helping me sort your house out for your party. Your special to me and Gina knows that, she supports it. So can you give her a chance?" Bellamy responded, this ball of anger appearing from no where.

"! I don't hate Gina I just feel uncomfortable around her, I get the impression _she_ doesn't like  _me_ and Bellamy I think you have this backwards, your the one who ignores me and I get it, you know you have a girlfriend now it's fine whatever" Clarke shrugged.

Bellamy didn't say anything back, he just turned his back to her.

"Bellamy quit acting like a child, look being around you, being your friend... it's hard for me" Her confession made him turn back around "Hard for you? Why?".

"Because... because I..." Clarke trailed off he was happy with Gina, she could see that and he didn't need her to mess this up for him. "Nothing, I just. Octavia is your sister, Gina has to like her. But with me, I'm nothing, so she doesn't need to like me and I don't want that to affect us" She swallowed, hoping she sounded convincing enough that he wouldn't try to delve to deep into it.

"Clarke, you aren't nothing. Your everything" His body stilled before he began to stutter "No- Clarke what I mean is, your something to me and Gina knows this okay, she does like you and I just god, I try to change one thing in my life and I get all this shit flung at me. I just want to be happy Clarke, with Gina, with Octavia, with you".

 _With you -_ Clarke tried not to read into it to much but it drove her fucking crazy. He sounded so mature and a little part of her was happy he seemed to be finally growing up, becoming the man she always knew he could be but the other part of her was neglectful of this Bellamy because this wasn't her Bellamy, this was Gina's - what he'd become for Gina and that hit harder that anything.

Bellamy tapped his foot impatiently when Clarke didn't respond straight away "Friends?" he pressed, offering her his hand.

"The very best" she whispered back as she used his hand to pull herself up.

"Tell O I'm sorry, I'm an ass. She was kinda of right and I'll do whatever she wants me to do to make this right" he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'll try my best, but you know O she's stubborn... like someone else I know" Clarke mumbled, it didn't hold the humour she'd intended it to but Bellamy laughed nevertheless.

He rolled his eyes watching her as she let herself out and maybe, just maybe he spent far to long at the door; watching as the pretty blonde girl from down the road walked up her driveway; staring still even when she'd closed her front door behind her. 

And maybe, just maybe he knew he'd lost his chance of ever having Clarke the way he wanted to. She wanted him to be happy, with Gina and that's exactly what he'll do. For her.

_For Clarke._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So excited for you guys to see how I'm changing the story.  
> But be warned, Clarke and Bellamy getting together isn't gonna happen quickly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm backkkkk!  
> First of all, I'm super super sorry for changing this story around / deleting chapters and tweaking the remaining ones. But I honestly hit a brick wall and the more I re-read my chapters the more I thought shit, this isn't where I wanted the narrative to go. If you've previously read this story, I'd suggest reading it from the start again as I have changed parts of plot which you'll need to re-read to understand the rest of the story.  
> Here is chapter 10 and I hope you guys enjoy.  
> I have prewritten chapter 11 and 12 and I'm hoping to get chapter 11 uploaded later on today or maybe tomorrow.  
> As always, kudos and comments are hugely appreciated.  
> Enjoy!

It had been a month since Clarke had left the Blake house, urging Octavia to forgive her brother.

”He loves you O” she groaned for the hundredth time as Octavia sat on the bed undecided whether to call him back or not.

“So help me Octavia, if you don’t call him ba- “

Octavia’s phone began to buzz, Bellamy’s name flashing on the screen.

“Answer it” Raven demanded.

“Okay, okay” Octavia huffed, accepting the call and walking off to a place in the Griffin house where she _couldn’t_ be heard.

Octavia appeared half an hour later looking cheerier than before.

“Everything good?” Clarke asked.

“We’re fine” Octavia replied.

Raven eyed her suspiciously, Octavia was never one to give two word answered.

”I promise. I just don’t want to talk about it” she informed the girls, who shared a look of disbelief.

They never hassled her to spill the beans on her and Bellamy’s conversation because if you know the Blake's you know _never_ to push them to talk about something they don’t _want_ to.

* * *

There was a point in time where conveniently in the two weeks that the girls were off college, Bellamy also had two weeks off work.

That then extended to Gina who also so _conveniently_ , had two weeks with no shifts at the bar she worked at.

Octavia tried her best to not show her disappointment when she walked through her door, only to be greeted to the rather disturbing image of Bellamy and Gina making out on the couch.

She also tried to tone down her frustration when she groaned “I thought it was just going to be  _us_ ”.

Bellamy and Gina pulled apart, Bellamy wiping his mouth hastily with the back of his hand.

“O… Hey” he acknowledged his sister with a warm parting in his lips.

He approached her enthusiastically, burying her head between his chest and arms.

“I know this isn’t what your expecting… But I really want you to get to know Gina. Maybe you’ll even _like_ her, or maybe just _tolerat_ e her… for me”.

He was stumbling over his words and Octavia knew he was nervous, nervous of her reaction because she always was the _unpredictable_ one of the two.

Octavia hummed aggressively over his whispers so that Gina couldn’t eavesdrop.

“Big brother, I’ve missed you, can you just give me a damn hug” she pleaded.

Feeling like she was _finally_  home, when his grip tightened around her back and for a split second, she forgot all about Gina being there, on  _her_ couch, in ~~her~~ _their_ house.

Gina coughed to gain Bellamy’s attention but she ended up gaining Octavia’s instead, she spied over Bellamy’s shoulder and the look on Gina’s face that Octavia witnessed surprised her.

She looked annoyed that Bellamy hadn’t let _go_ of Octavia, so she coughed again but louder than before and it was successful.

Bellamy let go of Octavia, spinning around to face Gina.

“Hey, hey… do you need some water?” he asked, his fingers threading through her hair to keep it off her face.

She nuzzled into his touch “No… I’m okay. I just still feel a little peaky” she muttered, her voice sounding small.

“Sorry O, can we catch up in a bit? I’m going to make Gina some soup, she’s been ill the past couple of days” Bellamy informed her, planting a gentle kiss on Gina’s forehead before disappearing into the kitchen.

Octavia held her gaze on Gina a little while longer, she sniffled a couple of times before making herself comfy on the couch, but Octavia doesn’t miss a thing.

She saw the smug expression on Gina’s face before she covered her head with a blanket.

**She was ill?**

That wasn’t the word Octavia would use, she could tell from a mile off that Gina was putting this on, not one inch of her was even remotely unwell.

Yet as she witnessed the way Bellamy pandered to Gina’s needs, fetching her things and devoting  _all_  of his time _and_ attention to her, everything started to make perfect sense.

“Yeah, she’s fucking lying on my couch right now doing the dying fly act. If I didn’t hate her so much I’d be congratulating her on being so convincing. It’s insane Clarke, Bellamy is completely convinced” Octavia’s hushed voice ranted down the phone.

“I really think I  _hate_  her” Octavia sighed, leaning against her window her breath fogging up the glass.

“She’s done this deliberately, I know it” Octavia was convinced and she wouldn’t let anything deter her away from her assumption.

”Imagine being so insecure you have to steal your boyfriend away from his own  _sister_ ” Octavia snarled before telling Clarke she had to go when she heard Bellamy’s footsteps running up the stairs.

He tapped on her door, waiting a few seconds before walking in “Hey O”.

He collapsed on her bed tucking a cushion under his chin, eyeing his sister suspiciously.

“Who were you taking to?”.

Octavia snorted, finding humour in how transparent her brother was being “I don’t think you need to ask Bell”.

He threw the cushion at her but Octavia was sharp and she launched it back towards Bellamy within a second of it leaving his own grasp.

“Is she doing alright?”. He peered over the cushion, he was treading carefully, Octavia could sense the caution in his approach.

He hadn’t really spoken to Clarke since she’d left to go back to college; they’d shared six text messages and that was that, it was better than nothing and he knew that.

He almost, _almost_ didn't ask Octavia about her but he couldn't help himself, he needed to know Clarke was doing okay.

“Yes, she’s alive and well” Octavia chuckled joining her brother on the bed as he shuffled over to make room for them both.

“Want to get food?” he asked, turning on his side to face her.

“I thought you’d never ask” she breathed a sigh of relief, whipping out her phone “Can Clarke come?”.

Bellamy rose up off the bed, ignoring the way his lips instinctively curled into a smile “Yes, tell Griffin she can come. Table for three it is”.

“Wait” Octavia called out “Isn’t Gina coming?”.

Bellamy shook his head “No, she’s ill so it's just the three of us”.

Octavia nodded, trying to reign in how happy she was that it was just  _the three of them_. 

She quickly called Clarke to inform her before she bundled down the stairs, a spring in her step when she stumbled over a conversation in the kitchen.

“Did she say yes to food?” Gina sniffed, _god this girl was a piece of work_.

“Yeah, we’re leaving in ten” Bellamy replied “We’re just waiting for Clarke”.

“ _Clarke?”_ That’s all Gina said and Octavia wished she could see the look on her face, if her tone was anything to go by Gina probably looked pissed.

“Yeah, Clarke’s coming to. I haven’t seen her for a while so we’ll have a nice catch up” Bellamy replied cheerfully.

Octavia clasped her hand over her mouth, this was brilliant.

How hasn't my brother cottoned onto the fact he's dating a ~~jealous, lying little bitch~~ a girl with a clear dislike for one of his best friends.

“Oh” Gina muttered.

Octavia pressed herself against the door frame but it creaked and her cover was well and truly blown.

She walked briskly into the room not forgetting how Gina’s eyes rolled her way as she squeezed Bellamy’s arm, steering him towards the door.

“Clarke’s ready, do you mind getting her on the way?” Octavia made sure to emphasise Clarke’s name so she could observe the reaction it had on Gina; her eyes twitched and her lips pressed together in a firm line.

_Interesting._

“Yeah, sure O” Bellamy agreed, lifting his arm up to nestle Gina into his side.

“See you later, I hope you feel better” he smiled sincerely.

As his arm dropped from her side Gina grabbed it hastily.

“Actually, I think food might do me good” she smiled, linking her arm with his.

“You’ve had some soup already, I don’t think you coming outside will make you feel any better” Bellamy frowned

His fingers touching her cheek “You should get some sleep, you look exhausted”.

“No. I don’t want sleep” she replied and if it wasn’t for the fact she was ill Bellamy would think she was almost scolding him.

“I  _want_  food, with _you_ ” she demanded, closing the gap between them.

“And me and Clarke” Octavia butted in, her eyebrow cocked to the side.

“Yes, of course” Gina smiled, god every _inch_ of this girl was fake.

“Uh” Bellamy looked between the two of them, feeling the increasingly high levels of hostility.

“Let’s go” Octavia ordered, leading the way to the door. 

When they pulled up outside Clarke’s Bellamy got out of his truck, walking around to the passenger side and opening the door.

He stood to the side, gesturing Gina to get out but she only looked on in confusion.

“Bellamy what are you doing? It’s cold” she grumbled, folding her arms over her chest in a childish manner. 

“Uh Gina” he scratched the back of his head “I need you to get into the back, Clarke always rides shot gun” he informed her.

Octavia sucked in a laugh, not wanting to rub it in even more. ~~But she really fucking wanted to.~~

Gina’s eyes widened and Octavia braved herself for an argument but one never came.

Gina climbed out of the truck without so much as a word, slipping into the back beside Octavia quietly.

Their eyes briefly met but Gina looked straight through Octavia and it made her question a lot of things about her brothers ~~complete stranger friend~~ girlfriend.

A vision of blonde appeared at the end of the Griffin driveway, she hopped into the truck buckling herself in before turning around to greet Octavia.

”Hey O- Gina? Hey” Clarke’s brow furrowed, she wasn’t expecting Gina to be there.

Octavia twitched her head subtlety towards Gina who was too busy looking out of the window to reply.

Octavia shook her head and Clarke resisted the urge to make conversation, instead turning back around in confusion.

“You missed me Griffin?”.

Clarke could practically feel the smirk on his face as he said it, she side eyed him before she gave in, her own lips beginning to curl upwards.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I’ve merely come along for the food” she teased, finally turning to face him properly.

He hadn’t changed a bit and Clarke was undoubtedly happy that he hadn’t.

She thought maybe ~~Gina’s influence would rub off on him~~ her and Octavia not being around as much might make him different, but he wasn’t, he was just, Bellamy.

The rest of the car journey remained silent, the only noise coming from the radio which kept jumping from one station to the next by its own accord.

When Bellamy parked up and turned the engine off, Gina was the first to get out of the truck not even looking back as she sulked into the cafe without them.

“Jeez, did you really have to bring her” Octavia sighed it wasn’t a question, it was an admission.

She left the truck shortly afterwards not giving Bellamy a chance to respond to her.

Clarke chewed on her bottom lip, she made no effort to get out of the truck and she was surprised when Bellamy didn’t either.

“I missed you” they both admitted at the same time.

If it had been anyone else they would have found it weird but when their eyes met it was like something clicked for them both; _we're the same, we both missed the other._

“Thanks for inviting me to come along, I hope Gina didn’t mind” Clarke admitted.

Because although Gina wasn’t her favourite person, ~~she hated her~~ she didn’t want to tread on anyone’s toes, ~~she wanted to break her toes~~.

“No, no it’s fine” he waved her off.

“Gina actually wasn’t meant to be coming she’s not very well. But hey here we are” Bellamy sighed.

If Clarke didn’t know him any better she could see the disappointment he felt that Gina _had_ come along.

“It’s just been so long you know… since we’ve done something just the three of us” he admitted before getting preoccupied in finding his wallet.

“Yeah, I know” Clarke muttered back as she followed his lead getting out of the truck and following him towards the cafe's entrance.

“Lady’s first” he gestured, holding the door open for her.

“Bellamy Blake are you being a- a gentlemen?” Clarke asked dramatically.

Picking up on her sarcasm he scoffed in response behind her as they made their way over to the table.

“There you are” Gina spoke up from over the menu she was holding.

Clarke staggered backwards, shooting Octavia a _what the fuck is wrong with her look_.

Octavia nodded to the unoccupied seat next to her and Clarke took the hint, settling in next to her best friend.

They stood their menus upright, giving them a wall of privacy as they muttered to one another.

“Octavia, what the hell is going on?” Clarke demanded.

“You tell me” she huffed back.

“Hey, you two unsociable teenagers” Bellamy mocked their attempt of making a ‘private’ space, “You ready to order?”.

Clarke acknowledged the waitress with a smile before reeling off her order.

“Is that everything miss?” the waitress asked.

“I think that’s enough” Gina blurted out.

“You know, it’s a little unfair of you to assume Bellamy’s going to pay for all of that Clarke” Gina smiled sweetly but Clarke saw straight through it.

This is **bullshit.**

She lent over the table becoming dangerously close to Gina’s personal space, staring at her with a challenging glare “I don't know who the he- “.

“Gina, it’s fine. Clarke _always_ pays for herself” Bellamy butted in, making Clarke revert back to her side of the table.

Gina’s smile fell as she began to stumble over her words.

“Oh, Clarke no I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound- You know, I was just pointing out. God, I think it’s the medicine. I’m real cranky today” she apologised profusely.

But Clarke was angrier that Bellamy seemed to _really_ buy all that shit as she saw him rubbing his hand across Gina's back.

Was _he_ comforting _her_?

Clarke gave him a look of disbelief, craning her neck to the side _are you serious._

Bellamy shook it off giving her the _we’ll talk later_ look.

But she scoffed _doubt it._

 _”_ Does my brother really have to date apsychopath _”_ Octavia muttered under her breath _._

Luckily the service was quick and the four of them didn’t have to stew in an awkward silence for much longer as their food arrived.

Clarke tucked in to her four different plates of food, making sure to draw as much attention to herself as possible.

“Mmm” she breathed in delight “This. Food. Is. To. Die. For” she mumbled in between mouthfuls.

Gina gave her a distasteful frown that luckily Clarke didn’t see but _Bellamy_ did.

He didn’t say anything, he just continued to eat his food and make small talk with Octavia, who willingly obliged, she’d do _anything_ to lighten this atmosphere.

Bellamy put down enough bills to cover the food, as Clarke placed hers neatly on top.

Making sure to count her money slowly just so, you know, Gina didn’t think she was ripping anyone off.

The four of them evacuated their hell booth, all making a beeline for the exit.

“Gina” Bellamy said, grabbing her arm to pull her back.

Clarke and Octavia both stopped in the tracks, but Bellamy ushered them to go outside.

“Here, take my keys. We won’t be a second” he informed them.

The girls shared a subtle knowing look before excusing themselves.

“We’ll wait in the car Bell” Octavia replied.

Bellamy waited until the girls were inside his truck, before leading Gina outside.

“Gina, what the hell is your problem with Clarke” he asked her point blank, refraining from using a harsher tone because she was his _girlfriend_ after all.

“I- I don’t know what you mean” Gina replied hesitantly, but this time even Bellamy wasn’t convinced by her innocent tone.

He folded his arms across his chest, frowning in annoyance as he waited rather patiently all things considered, for an answer he actually _believed._

When Gina sensed he didn't believe her, she sighed.

“God, Bellamy I was- I’m just annoyed you demoted me to the back of your truck. I’m your girlfriend for fucksake and she’s… she’s…” Gina trailed off as she stared enviously at the blonde girl sat in the front of Bellamy’s truck.

“She’s Clarke” he snapped, finishing the sentence for her.

“Whose Dad died in a car accident and she has a shit ton of problems being in the back of a car again. That’s why she’s shot gun” he informed Gina through gritted teeth.

As his words sunk in Gina’s whole demeanour changed.

“Her Dad died in a car accident...” She trailed off, looking back over to the truck and she felt something for Clarke, pity maybe?

Or was it guilt kicking in for mistakenly thinking Clarke wanted her boyfriend.

“God, Bellamy I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, I’ve been thinking this whole time she had some crazy crush on you when all along, you were just being like a _brother_ to her. It all makes sense” Gina admitted, giving him an apologetic smile.

“Don’t apologise to me, apologise to Clarke” he deflected the conversation away from him, turning on his heel towards the car.

Trying to ignore the words  _big brother_ that we’re floating around menacingly in his head.

The journey back was an awkward as the journey there, not one of them daring to speak up and start a conversation.

Their collective stubbornness lasted until Bellamy pulled up outside Clarke’s house.

“Thanks, uh- for this unusual trip?” Clarke fiddled with the drawstring on her hoodie awkwardly.

“One second, I’ll walk you to your door” Bellamy offered, putting the car into park.

“Don’t be stupid Bellamy, it’s broad daylight” Clarke laughed his offer off until he appeared on her side of the truck.

She rolled her eyes, realising it wasn’t up for discussion as they walked in sync, side by side up her driveway.

“Look Clarke” he started.

But Clarke cut him off “No, don’t apologise for her. She knows where I am when she’s ready to say sorry” She sounded bitter but she didn’t care, she was allowed to feel angry.

Bellamy looked at the floor in embarrassment “Actually, I was just going to say that uh” he bit the bullet and glanced up to meet her softening glare.

“Remember when I told you I’d never forget about you again, well I meant it and I want you to know you’ll always be shot gun Griffin” he laughed holding her gaze - _I'm serious, I mean it._

“Always” Clarke replied, grazing his shoulder with her fingers as she inched closer to him.

He nodded back slowly “I know Gina was out of line and please don’t think I’m sticking up for her because I’m not but she had this weird crazy theory you had a crush on me and I knew all about it and I was humouring you by letting you sit shot gun and spending all this time with you and god I know it’s dumb but I explained about your Dad and she gets it now”.

 _He hoped, he believed_ Gina would put her crazy assumptions to bed - As if **Clarke Griffin** would ever look at Bellamy in that way, let alone have a _crush_ on him.

~~He hoped it was true.~~

Clarke ignored the twisting knife in her side.

”Yeah, how dumb that is” she muttered dropping her gaze to the floor, not bearing to look up at him anymore.

“I better go inside, it’s freezing” She hurried inside, not waiting for a responsible as she lent against the front door she’d just slammed on Bellamy's face.

“Weird”

“Crazy”

“Dumb” she whispered, as she sank to the floor slowly.

_He really doesn’t like me like that at all, does he._

Clarke hoped she'd misunderstood that whole conversation and that the possibility of her having a crush on Bellamy wasn't weird, crazy or dumb.

That it was okay to feel the way she did sometimes, that having the sudden urge to kiss him and the desperate desire she had to be held by him was okay. 

It's okay to admit ~~your in love with Bellamy Blake~~ you have a crush on Bellamy Blake. Right? 


	11. Chapter 11

After Gina’s theory about Clarke crushing on Bellamy got dismissed by Bellamy himself, Octavia noticed a difference in the way Gina was behaving.

She made Octavia breakfast every morning, pestering Bellamy for two days straight on how to make the ‘sorry I fucked up breakfast’ until he cracked and gave her the list of ingredients. 

She made it Octavia, handing it over with a friendly smile and Octavia hesitantly accepted the peace offering, she still didn't like her.

At first, it was weird and Octavia truly wondered if this was the real Gina or just another fake persona she was using to gain Octavia’s trust, to use it to her own advantage.

But then Octavia saw first hand the affect it had on Bellamy, when he started to notice they were both getting along, he looked so happy and relieved and her brothers happiness alone convinced Octavia to give Gina a chance. 

After a week of Gina grovelling for her forgiveness and friendship she hung up her imaginary white flag and let Gina in.

Octavia hadn't seen Clarke since the cafe incident but she still texted her every day and Clarke replied but she seemed off.

Whenever Octavia asked to see Clarke she’d refuse saying she had plans with her Mom.

But Clarke underestimated Octavia’s knowledge of the Griffin family, she knew Abby’s work rota as well as what Abby’s car looked like – which had been absent from the house all week.

She never let up, that she knew Clarke was lying to her; figuring there was a valid reason for it all and when Clarke was ready to speak about it, she would.

But as their second week began to draw to a close and she still hadn’t seen Clarke in the flesh since the cafe fiasco, a part of her began to worry.

She slipped into the kitchen were Gina was busy brewing a fresh pot of coffee.

“Hey” Gina smiled when she noticed Octavia take a seat at the table.

“Hey”.

They sat together, eating the French toast Gina had made when something sprung to Octavia’s mind.

“Did you ever apologise to Clarke?” Octavia asked in between mouthfuls.

Gina stilled, dropping the piece of toast with a bite missing onto her plate before clearing her throat.

“Uh, no I don’t think I ever did. Oh god” Gina groaned into her hands, mortified that the gesture had so carelessly slipped her mind.

“Do you think that’s why she hasn’t come over, because of me?” Gina sighed.

Octavia shook her head “No, not at all. Maybe. A little. Ugh probably, I don’t know”.

“I’m going to go over today and iron things out, I feel terrible” Gina admitted.

If someone had asked Octavia two weeks ago what she thought of Gina, she would have told you she hated her.

But now as she placed her hands over Gina’s to offer her reassurance, her whole perspective had changed.

“It will be okay, Clarke is the best person I know” Octavia reminded Gina as she ushered her out of the house.

“Go on” she beckoned and when she was finally convinced Gina wasn’t going to chicken out, she closed the door.

Gina straightened her coat in the reflection of the Griffin’s glass on their door as she waited patiently for Clarke to open it.

It took awhile but eventually the door swung back, revealing a very surprised Clarke on the other side of it.

“Gina… what are you doing here?” Clarke’s expression pained.

“Look, Clarke. I don’t know where to start. I am so sorry. Truly, I am. I let my imagination run away with me, as an outsider looking in at your relationship with Bellamy I I- I felt threatened by it” Gina admitted, her cheeks beginning to flush.

“When he organised your birthday, how much time and effort he spent making it the best he possible could. I’ve never seen someone _so_ determined to make somebody else so happy” Gina continued.

“I know now, that what I thought isn't true, in the terms of him having a little thing for you and you having one for him and I know it’s no excuse for the way I behaved and honestly, I’m so embarrassed by it. Look, I’m droning on I’m sorry. It’s just I’m finally building bridges with Octavia and I know you’re a big part of Bellamy’s life and I _want_ to be able to build a relationship with you too” Gina admitted, looking at Clarke nervously.

“So, can we just- start over?” she asked, lip between her teeth, offering Clarke a shaky hand.

Clarke watched Gina intently, figuring if Octavia of all people had forgiven her, what possible excuse did she have not to.

  ~~Except for her being Bellamy’s girlfriend and Clarke was madly in love with him.~~  

Clarke put her outstretched hand in Gina's giving it a firm shake.

”Okay" Clarke replied, pulling her hand away hastily. 

"Thank you, you don't know how much I appreciate you giving me a chance. I don’t know if I should tell you this but” Gina paused, debating whether to stir the pot or not . 

“After the cafe thing, Bellamy didn’t talk to me for two days and when I finally picked up the courage to confront him he snapped at me, going off about how I can’t treat you like that and if I wanted it to work I needed to take a long, hard look in the mirror and snap out of it” Gina swallowed, the bitterness of her words sour in her mouth.

“Don’t think I’m apologising to score points with Bellamy. I’m not, I want to get to you know you Clarke. I do” she reassured her and Clarke hated to admit it, but she believed her. 

“I know he hasn't admitted to me, but I know Bellamy's missed having you over this week. We're finally having our house warming party tomorrow and I'd love if you'd come along? It could be a surprise" Gina suggested. 

"I'd love to" Clarke replied and she meant it. 

She waved Gina off, before heading back into her room. 

She meant it, she would love to go but she had a date tomorrow and Gina would be damned to think Clarke was going to miss out on attempt at moving forward with her life. 

She figured if her supposed arrival was a secret, there would be no harm in being a no show, right?

* * *

It was the day after Gina's heartfelt apology to Clarke and as Clarke concluded on what to wear, she wondered if she should bother at all. 

"Griffin, you got this" her voice grumbled at her reflection in the floor length mirror. 

She rolled her shoulders back, readying herself for her first date since... since Finn.

She'd be lying if she said she didn't feel scared, this was a big thing for her and normally she'd have Octavia in the sidelines spurring her on.

But then she looked to her empty bed and realised Octavia _wasn't_ here, she was over at Bellamy's house getting ready for the party. 

Her and Octavia had spoken that morning, neither of them mentioning the important events happening later that day.

Their phone call was moderately longer than any other one they'd had all week and that told Clarke that Octavia was debating on whether to mention the party.

You could hear the desperation from her wanting Clarke to say the magic words ' _What_ _are_ _your_ _plans_ _for_ _later_?'. 

But Clarke knew better than to put herself in that situation, so she avoided any topics that would of led them to that question. 

Her phone buzzed on the dresser, she took a hold of it checking the notification. 

        _Can't wait to see you Griffin ;)_

She bit back a smile, allowing herself to finally feel a little bit of excitement for tonight.

        _It's been ages x_

She bit down the smile that beckoned to break out on her face, trying to steady her nerves.

Roan was a good guy, she was sure of it and she hoped when she looked at his face she wouldn't see chocolate coloured eyes and freckled cheeks. 

* * *

It was 7pm and Gina has been clock watching for nearly an hour.

She expected Clarke to have shown by now, seen as she literally lives _across_ the street. 

Every time the door knocked, she offered to get it, hoping it would be Clarke and she could reveal her surprise to everyone.

Each time she was left disappointed.

All of their usual friends were there and Raven even made a special appearance, she'd been spending the two weeks with her Uncle across State.

”I wouldn't miss this for the world" Raven shouted above the music, pointing towards the free booze. 

"Where's Griffin?" Raven asked as she took a seat next to Octavia. 

"I don't think she knows about it" Octavia shrugged.

"Hang on" Raven shook her head "How can she not know about this?".

Octavia took a deep breath, before reiterating the events of the past two weeks to a dumbstruck Raven.

"So wait, you like Gina now?" Raven questioned.

Octavia rolled her eyes "I know, I know it's crazy,. But she isn't that bad Raven. I swear" Octavia declared, trying her best to convince Raven that Gina was okay, she was cool.

Raven frowned, not feeling as convinced as Octavia wanted her to be.

"I'm gonna call Clarke".

Raven slipped out back, dialling Clarke frantically, she finally answered on the fifth ring.

”Griffin your alive".

"Uh... yeah I guess I am" Clarke laughed "What do I owe the pleasure Reyes?".

"Why are you not over here?" Raven didn't elaborate on where here was, but Clarke knew.

"I already have plans" Clarke replied.

"With who Griffin, _all_ your friends are here?" Raven quipped.

"With a  _boy_  Raven" Clarke announced.

Clarke heard a muffled yelp of shock and surprise down the end of the phone, it took a few seconds for Raven to think of a worded reply.

"Griffin. what. the. fuck. who?!" she gasped "tell me everything!" Raven pressed.

"It's with Roan, I don't know if you've ever met him. He's one of Bell- he's a friend" Clarke answered coolly.

She heard Raven's "Mmm Hmm" and she couldn't hold her laughter in any longer. 

"You can't tell anyone okay, promise me" Clarke pleaded, she didn't want people  ~~Bellamy~~  finding out she was going on a date.

"No, Griffin you can't tell me firsthand the scoop of the fucking century and then swear me to secrecy" Raven moaned.

Clarke's phone buzzed *incoming call Roan*.

"Look Rae, I gotta go. Someone else is calling me, love you bye" Clarke said frantically as she cut Raven off and answered Roan's call. 

"Hey Griffin, I'm outside, you ready?" Roan asked.

"Yeah, just a minute" Clarke replied before cutting him off too. 

She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves and ignore the worry in the pit of stomach that told her _not_ to do this. 

20 minutes later, she was at some restaurant on the edge of town sitting across a handsome looking Roan.

Her phone buzzed repeatedly and she knew it was Raven and hell probably Octavia too.

It buzzed so often, it even made Roan glance at her screen.

"Your Miss Popular" he smirked, as she turned her phone off slipping it into her bag. 

* * *

Across town, Bellamy and Gina's house warming party was going surprising well.

No one had been sick yet or spilt any drinks so Bellamy took it as a win.

All of his friends were congregated in the living room and although no one dared to bring it up, he could see they all thought the same as him.

 _Where_ _the_ _hell_ _was_ _Clarke_. 

He didn't want to admit it, but it was obvious that someone was missing.

The beer pong had hardly been touched because normally Clarke got everyone hyped up to play before she thrashed them.

It wasn't until Bellamy sat on his own did he really feel her missing presence. 

He walked upstairs to change into something warmer when he heard muffled fits of laughter coming from Octavia's room.

He stilled, senses on high alert as he padded across the carpet as quietly as possible until he stood right outside the door.

Heavy breathing could be heard behind the door, the sound initiating they were kissing passionately.

His hands balled into fists at the thought of someone using  _his_  sisters room as a place to get some.

Bellamy charged in, lips parted to order them to get out but nothing came out of his mouth.

Because there weren't _any_ words in Bellamy's vocabulary to suffice the scene in front of him. 

 _His_ sister, with no t-shirt on, straddling  _his_ friend Lincoln, in _her_ bed.

Their bodies stilled as they realised they'd been caught out but Octavia's shoulders soon seized up when she realised just _who_ by.

She climbed off Lincoln’s torso grabbing a shirt to quickly cover herself with, never daring to break eye contact with Bellamy. 

"Bell. I can explain" she whispered, taking a step towards him.

But she'd misjudged just how angry Bellamy was as he lunged towards Lincoln fiercely, punching him in the face until Octavia's pleas bought him out of his vision of red. 

"Bell, stop it. Please” Octavia cried as she ran over to comfort Lincoln.

She didn't hesitate to take his cheek in her hands because she knew for certain no matter how _angry_ Bellamy was he'd _never_ harm his sister.

Ever. 

"Are you okay?" she whispered to Lincoln.

He nodded adamantly as he pulled away from her touch, feeling Bellamy’s heavy glare on them both. 

"How could you do this?" Bellamy muttered in disbelief.

"We didn't mean for you to find out this way Bell, it just happened" Octavia admitted, the younger Blake crying as she tried to make her brother understand. 

"O. Shut up- I'm asking him" Bellamy stuck his hand up as a warning to Octavia to keep her distance from him, his anger scaring even himself.

She listened, taking a small but much needed step away from her brother.

"It just happened" Lincoln sighed, the throbbing sensation on his face a very painful reminder as to why he'd tried to put Octavia off so badly in the beginning. 

"It just happened? You honestly expect me to believe it just happened, huh?" Bellamy beckoned.

"I'm sorry-" 

"Don't fucking give me that- you've betrayed me. Both of you" he shouted.

”How long?” He asked, his tone wavering.

"When she was still in diapers? Huh?". 

Lincoln knew no matter what answer he gave Bellamy it wouldn't be the right one, so he lay still on the bed, fearing the pain in his cheekbone wouldn't be the only pain he'd have to endure. 

When Bellamy was met with nothing but Octavia's panicked sobs, he punched the closest thing to him, which he found out by the dull ache in his knuckle was Octavia’s door. 

“Fuck” he cried out in anger. 

Octavia stood huddled in the corner still sobbing as she watched her brother walk out of the room; silently relieved no more harm had come to Lincoln, but evidently shaken to the core in worry of what Bellamy was going to do now. 

An resentful Bellamy tore through the house, using the back door as his exit. The cold air hit his bleeding wound and as he looked to the sky, he found himself asking why. 

Why now, _tonight_ of all nights. Why did _his sister_ have to pursue _his friend_. Why did his friend _allow_ her to. Why has Clarke been _MIA_. Why isn’t Clarke here now, he _needs_ her. 

* * *

 “I didn’t have you down as a meat kinda girl” Roan admitted, intrigued as he watched Clarke easily devour a king size steak. 

“Oh yeah?” She challenged, biting into her fries in a seductive manner.

Roan knocked back his neat whiskey, the glass lingering at the edge of his smirking lips, as he watched the way Clarke’s mouth sucked the sauce off her fries. 

He cleared his throat, beckoning the waitress over for the bill. 

“Shall I ask the taxi to take us to yours, or mine?” Clarke asked. 

Roan shook his head “Taxi? No I’ll drive”.

Clarke’s eyes shot to the half empty bottle of whiskey on their table “Roan you can’t-“.

“Can’t what Griffin?” Roan challenged her. 

“You can’t drive, you’ve drank to much” she argued, smiling politely to the waitress as she took their money. 

“Nonsense Clarke, I’m fine” he waved her off.

Roan rose from his chair pulling his coat over his arms, when Clarke didn’t move he frowned “Come on Clarke”.

But Clarke stayed put “No”. 

Roan snorted, his arrogance taking a hold of him.

“I’m more than capable of driving us home. Now let’s go” he demanded, standing aside for her to get up. 

Clarke swallowed her nerves because there was no way in hell she was going to willingly get into his car - not when he was drunk. 

When it finally dawned on Roan she wasn’t coming he scoffed, dismissing Clarke with his hand and walking out. 

Ten minutes later, when Roan hadn’t returned the waitress came back over.

“Sorry, but I have people waiting to be seated. So if your not going to order anything else, I’m going to have to ask you to leave this table” she informed Clarke discreetly, which she was grateful for. 

“Oh.. oh sorry. I’ll just call a taxi” Clarke reached for her bag and then it hit her. 

Roan had her bag, with her phone, her purse, her keys - everything. 

“Do you have a phone I could use?” Clarke asked politely.

“Yes dear, just over the back”. 

Clarke stood up, walking quickly to the back of the restaurant.

She stilled above the buttons, she only knew _one_ number off by heart. 

It was a number she really ~~wanted to~~ didn’t want to call, but she knew she had no other choice.

She was alone, across the other side of town, with no belongings what so ever. 

Giving in, she reluctantly punched in the numbers before bringing the phone to her ear.

He answered on the ninth ring, just as Clarke was about to give up she heard a rough voice mutter “who is this?”. 

“Bellamy?” She asked.

”who- Clarke?” His voice softened and Clarke couldn't help but smile in relief.

 “Thank god you answered. Bellamy I need you” she pleaded, face full of hope.

“What. Why? What’s wrong?” Bellamy sounded more alert now he knew Clarke needed him. 

“I-I... I went on this stupid date and now I’m on my own across town and I don’t have my phone, or any money and I- can you come and get me please?”

She didn’t mean to sound so helpless, but facing facts she was fucked if Bellamy didn't help her.

”Where are you?” Bellamy asked, the background noise from his line indicating he was getting into his truck.

“Uh, you know the restaurant next to the bakery I like so much? I’m there”. 

“Okay princess, I’ll be there as soon as possible” He replied and Clarke knew he meant it. 

She was about to hang the phone back on the wall when he called out her name "Clarke?".

"Yeah?" she asked, putting the phone back to her ear. 

"Thanks... for calling me. You've just stopped me doing something that could potentially ruin my life" he confessed.

Clarke went to ask him to elaborate but it was too late, he'd hung up and she spent the next ten minutes circling the foyer frantically until he arrived. 

She eventually saw Bellamy’s figure flit passed the windows and she gathered her coat and scarf before moving towards the entrance.

It wasn’t until she laid eyes on him that  she realised multiple things - 

This was the first time in two weeks that she’d seen him. 

He was dressed in black jeans and a white shirt, _shit_ it was his house warming  party. 

He also had a bloody knuckle and Clarke couldn’t stop the panic from sinking in.

”Bellamy what the hell” she snapped, taking his hand in her own to inspect the wound.

“Your hardly one to talk... a date with Roan? Really Clarke” He strained.

She'd normally bite back but she knew she had to keep a clear mind as she wiped the dried blood off his knuckle.

“There... you look less like a mad man now”. 

Normally Bellamy would chuckle at her playful dig at him, but when he didn’t Clarke eyed him suspiciously, “What happened?”.

Clarke noticed the way his body tensed and the way he hesitated in answering, like he was figuring out how to say something “I caught Octavia with Lincoln”. 

Clarke paused “Wait... What?”.

Bellamy glared at her “Please don’t make me say it again” he whispered. 

“Bellamy I- if it makes you feel any better. I didn’t know about it either” Clarke tried to soften the mood but it fell flat, quickly.

”It doesn’t” he muttered, ushering her further down the sidewalk with a gently placed hand on the small of her back. 

Clarke didn’t reply, she knew it was best to let him figure the shit out in his head. 

But then he reached for her hands and mumbled “I’m sorry Clarke”. 

She half smiled, seeing him relax slightly as she accepted his apology. 

“Fancy a hot chocolate?” Clarke asked as they walked past the door of her bakery. 

“Whatever you want” Bellamy didn’t mean to sound so uninterested, but he couldn't stop thinking about what he'd seen.

Clarke stopped in her tracks, turning to face him.

”Look, Bell. I’ve had a shitty half an hour and by the sounds of it, so have you. So can we just mellow in our self pity tomorrow and make each other feel better tonight. Please?”.

She grabbed onto his arm, her soft eyes penetrating the vision of Octavia and Lincoln in bed together and finally, all Bellamy could see was _her_.

“This is why I love you Griffin” Bellamy admitted, following closely behind Clarke as she entered the bakery. 

“We’re just about to shut guys” a boy peered over the counter at the sound of the door chime.

Clarke pouted towards Bellamy and he rolled his eyes knowing exactly what she wanted him to do - they’d done it _countless_ times before. 

“Can we just take one hot chocolate away, please? We’ve travelled all across town for this” Bellamy lied, but only partly. 

They had travelled across town once or twice before. 

The boy faltered to Bellamy’s admission “Okay, but don’t tell me boss” he begged before discreetly making them a fresh cup with extra cream. 

“My plan never fails” Clarke chuckled as they left the shop and made their way over to Bellamy’s truck. 

"Uh Griffin, I'm pretty sure it was my idea" Bellamy gloated.

"Is this you stealing my thunder?" Clarke protested.

“Like always” Bellamy rolled his eyes but his features we're soft, a surge of nostalgia overwhelming him. 

“I’ve missed this” he admitted as he turned the engine on. 

Clarke hummed back in agreement, taking a sip of hot chocolate feeling content as it warmed her insides up. 

They’d been travelling for 10 minutes or so, both of them mumbling along to Bellamy’s fuzzy radio. 

Clarke knows she shouldn’t have, but she glanced over at Bellamy and imagined only for a few seconds, what it would be like if they were _together_. 

Their countless journeys across town to their favourite bakery, their midnight drives and sing alongs.

How they’d always order one hot chocolate to share. 

She snapped out of it though when Bellamy called out her name. 

“You gonna share that Princess?” He asked. 

“Oh, yeah uh sorry” Clarke apologised before steadying her hand as she bought the cup to his mouth. 

He took a few needy sips, before pulling his head away. 

“Thanks” he smiled. 

Bellamy pulled up outside his house, there were no cars outside including Gina’s. 

“Bellamy, I don’t have a key for my house” Clarke admitted, making a mental note to give Roan a hard time tomorrow but most importantly to gather her things back. 

“It’s okay, I have a spare key in the house” Bellamy nodded, waiting until Clarke appeared at his side before entering.

He flicked the lights on, peering around the rooms that weren’t actually that trashed. 

“Here” Clarke called out, thrusting a letter into his view. 

Bell, 

Octavia told me what happened, everyone’s gone home and if your reading this I’m taking Jasper and Monty back home as their too drunk to drive. 

See you soon, 

love Gina 

Bellamy tossed the letter aside, rifling through his kitchen draws to find Clarke’s spare key. 

“It might be in my room, your good here for a sec?” He asked. 

“Yeah, sure” Clarke replied confidently. 

She waited till she heard his weight on the floorboards above her before observing the living room. 

She noticed there were no changes to the decor, which she was thankful for, she’d helped the Blake’s decorate last time and it was one of the last things they’d all done with Aurora. 

Bellamy appeared with a duffel bag in hand.

”I figured you’d left all your important stuff in your handbag, so I’ve put together a sort of survival bag” he grinned. 

He placed it on the coffee table, pulling the contents out.

“So, I got you a spare charger because I know you lost your iPad one and you always use your phone charger” he scolded her lack of organisation. 

“I also put a fresh chapstick in there, cos I know you always carry one in your purse. Oh yeah and I put your clothes in that you’d left here. Figured you’d want them back at some point” he chuckled. 

Clarke didn’t know if it was the endorphins circling her body from his heartfelt gesture or the neat whiskey she’d had a glass of earlier but she decided she had something to say. 

She inched herself closer to Bellamy, he held a quizzical frown on his face due to her impending silence.

She raised up onto her tiptoes "I have something to say" she whispered.

Bellamy's bottom lip twitched from the cool air that came from her lips as she got closer and closer towards him.

And whatever Clarke had to say got lost in translation as her lips founds his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates in one day?  
> I’m spoiling you.  
> The next chapter is super tense and there’s a shit ton of bellarke.  
> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated :)


	12. Chapter 12

Somehow, they’d made it over to the couch, an abstract masterpiece of limbs, hands caressing any part of each other that they could touch before Bellamy’s hand finally settled in the nest of hair behind her neck.

Clarke groaned into his mouth as her fingers bunched his shirt, pulling him as close as physically possible.

He kissed her back with an urgency that matched her own, she felt the neediness in his kisses, the comfort in his hands on her skin.

But without warning, Clarke’s world fell off its axis as Bellamy’s other hand pushed on her shoulder forcefully, breaking their reddened lips apart.

They were both breathless and it took a few seconds for Clarke’s eyes to lock onto Bellamy’s but when they did, her impulse finally caught up with her.

It was like a bomb had gone off beneath them as she struggled out of his lap, tugging on her shirt to try and distract herself from the look on his face.

“Oh my god” Clarke trembled.

Her fingers brushed over her wet lips, panic stricken at the thought of what she’d just done.

What she’d just  _destroyed._

Every time she exhaled she felt the pressure build on her chest, making it harder and harder to breathe. She hadn’t got the nerve to speak, because what the hell could she say.

She did however look at Bellamy, her heart sinking as she observed his face.

"Gina and I... we-".

His voice was strained, guilty eyes avoiding her worried gaze.

And Clarke knew that tone, she knew that face. This was it, his way of trying to ease her down _gently_.

"Are in love... I know" Clarke swallowed, the words leaving a sour taste in her mouth.

"I know" she mumbled again for her own benefit.

_They’re in love._

She paused, her mind trying to calculate how to make this right, how to  _put_  it right.

Could she really pretend that the kiss didn't mean  _anything_  and that she didn't  _care_  she'd just been rejected by the one person she  _loves._

She stupidly thought she could but then her gaze landed on her favourite chocolate coloured eyes and suddenly she wasn’t so sure.

He stood freakishly still for some time, his eyes eventually ready to meet hers. The intense stare off lasted mere seconds but it felt like a lifetime to Clarke, feeling naked under his intense stare. 

She knows he didn’t mean to, but him looking at her like that made her feel things that she wasn’t supposed to, not now.

Not after this.

"I've already embarrassed myself enough, I better go" she blinked back the tears, shuffling around to grab her scarf and coat.

She was internally screaming at the part of her that for one second believed he might have wanted her back, the large part of her that had convinced her he didn't  _love_  for Gina.

That he'd forget she was his little sisters best friend and that he wanted her, the same way she wanted him. 

She felt the tears beginning to brim as she rushed over to the couch, her rigid body giving Bellamy a wide birth, grabbing the duffel bag’s contents that had been carelessly scattered over it amidst their moment. 

 _Moment_. 

Could she even call it that? A tiny moment in time where her lips were on his lips and she tasted the reminiscence of the hot chocolate they'd shared on the way home.

But thinking of it; of that perfect moment left a bittersweet memory in her head, one she begged so mercifully to forget.

Bellamy’s silent eyes watched Clarke’s silhouette carefully, his face stoic which was so like Bellamy, but so typically not like him.

He was unreadable to most, but never to her. 

 _Never_ to Clarke. 

She folded her arms keeping them close to her chest as if it was the only thing keeping herself together, keeping her emotions at bay.

Her eyes met his one last time before she turned towards the door; the tiniest sensation of her shoulder brushing against his spurred something inside of him. 

"Clarke" it came out strangled.

She stopped hesitantly in her tracks, a small piece of hope buried deep-down thinking that when she turned around he’d tell her what she’d wanted to hear all along.

The skin on his forehead crinkled as he braced himself to speak and Clarke knew by his delay, it wasn’t going to be the news she’d hoped for.

“I...” He let out a heavy breath “I can’t- We. I’m sorry” His eyes clenching shut as his fingertips instinctively reached out to her shoulder.

But Clarke shook him off, the feeling of his fingers on her bare skin didn't give her butterflies like before, it only deepened the wound he'd unintentionally already left.

"I should never have- you know" she couldn't bring herself to say it aloud, it was to fresh, to raw.

“No” He argued, his voice sounding stern for the first time.

”This is my fault Clarke” he was adamant.

She scoffed, hating the fact he was being so nice about it. Hating the fact, he was taking the blame because once again Bellamy Blake would never let Clarke Griffin be in wrong.

“You can’t- You can’t smooth over this Bell” Clarke said limply.

“It’s happened, we happ- I happened” she argued, turning away from him.

“Clarke no. We can fix this. I- I no we can if you just let me-” He pleaded, he took a small but noticeable step towards her and she internally recoiled at his subtle movement.

“No” she snapped defensively.

Bellamy winced at her tone, she mellowed enough to reach out for his hand, squeezing it with her own.

“I’m sorry okay. For all of it. It was a mistake and I wish it never happened” she whispered. 

Bellamy’s lips parted but she shook her head, refusing to let him speak “I’m sorry okay, but I just can’t be around you. Not after this, not ever” she mumbled, her voice filled with regret.

“No Clarke, please we can figure this out” his eyes searching hers “I _know_ we can fix this” he begged, stroking his thumb over her hand.

Clarke shook her head, bottom lip trembling “No, we can’t go back to before. I can’t-“.

“Bellamy?” A soft voice called out as the front door shut behind them.

Clarke dropped Bellamy’s hand from her grasp, wiping away at the wetness that had settled on her cheeks.

She sniffed not bothering to acknowledge him as she slipped out of the room before coming face to face with Gina.

“Hey Clarke nice of you to finally show when the party’s over” Gina muttered bitterly, hanging her coat on the hook behind the door.

Clarke didn’t reply as she manoeuvred past the group of shoes at the bottom of the stairs making a beeline for the door.

“Hey” Gina snapped, tugging Clarke’s arm so that she faced her.

“I thought we had a deal, you were meant to show tonight” Gina reminded her and god how Clarke wished she had done exactly that in the first place.

“I’m sorry” Clarke whispered, her voice small from the budding emotion inside of her.

“Whatever” Gina huffed, kicking her boots off.

Clarke didn’t bother to reply, to desperate on getting out of the hell house.

But Gina caught a glimpse of Clarke’s blotchy face and suddenly she was at her side.

“Hey, Clarke. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry” Gina frowned.

“It’s not you” Clarke shook her head, trying to open the door, but Gina blocked her path.

“What’s wrong? Does Bellamy know you’re here? Do you need him?” Gina asked.

Clarke didn’t need him, she didn’t want him. She never wanted to see him ever again.

She shook her head, before pushing Gina aside and exiting the Blake household swiftly.

She fumbled outside of her house, her blurred vision and shaky fingers slowing down her attempt of unlocking her front door.

Once she was safe in her house away from Bellamy and his wistful brown eyes; she let out a cry.

Clarke pressed her forehead against the door “This can’t be happening”.

Her vision becoming lost amongst angry tears, her body becoming overcome with hurt, anger, embarrassment but above all sadness.

Sadness at knowing what those few seconds of her lips on his had cost her, it had cost her everything.

It had cost her Bellamy.

She knew what she did wasn’t right, because he’s with Gina but she thought… she thought for one stupid careless second that maybe when she kissed him and he finally knew what it felt like to kiss her, that maybe, just maybe he’d feel something – anything.

But the look on his face when she withdrew her lips from his summoned all of her insecurities that were right all along – what the hell would he see in you? You’re just a kid. You’re his little sisters best friend. He loves Gina, not you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit - they KISSED  
> MOTHER FUCKING KISSED  
> I know this chapter is short buuttttt there are many chapters to come so please stay tuned.  
> As always, comments and kudos are always appreciated.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 13 - I SUGGEST YOU RE-READ AS I'VE MOVED IT TO CHAPTER 14.  
> THIS CHAPTER IS NEW

He heard Clarke and Gina exchanging words, the closed door blocking out their conversation, but luckily he was still able to make out their muffled voices.

It was a short exchange, and for that he was silently and rather selfishly thankful.

He couldn’t deal with anything else happening tonight.

The second he felt her presence obliterate from the house, he collapsed onto the couch. Head spinning, as his body collectively punished him for what had occurred on the same couch only minutes before.

He tried to convince himself it **didn’t** happen.

It can’t have…

But the lingering, burning sensation on his bottom lip from her strawberry flavoured chapstick, that had penetrated the small cut on his lip, proved that it **did** happen.

 

His tongue instinctively slipped out, licking over his wound but all he could taste on his lips was her chapstick, all he could taste was _her_.

He didn’t get to dwell on it any longer though, as Gina opened the door apprehensively.

She frowned at him and he soon became paranoid that his expression showed how he was _really_  feeling, which is exactly what he wanted to keep  _from_  Gina.

“What happened with Clarke?” Gina asked calmly, keeping a fair distance away from him, something that seemed to rub him up the wrong way.

Bellamy shrugged “She had a date it went wrong, I had to go get her. She’s just upset, it was her first date since Finn”.

Bellamy clenched his jaw together, wishing he’d picked a better way to explain why Clarke was in his- their house, the after taste from saying Finns name was bitter and sour.

Unlike  _Clarke’s chapstick_.

Gina nodded, remaining silent as if thinking carefully about how to respond “She seemed pretty upset”.

“Yeah, like I said. It didn’t go well” Bellamy scoffed, eyes rolling as he tried so hard to not focus on the way Gina’s bottom lip quivered at his sharp tone.

He walked into the kitchen, trying to preoccupy himself by doing the dishes. Each scrub on the cutlery was aggressive, maybe he hoped it would wash away his feelings.

His guilt; guilt at doing this to Gina; his girlfriend.

At doing this to fucking Clarke; his best friend.

He had always known he was drawn to Clarke, in ways a platonic friend _shouldn’t_ be and that kiss had only cemented what he’d convinced himself wasn’t true.

He  _did_  love Clarke.

But he also loved Gina, in a different way, but nevertheless it was  _still_  love.

He felt Gina’s stare on the back of neck, he shivered hoping when he spun around, she wouldn’t be looking at him.

But maybe this was his punishment, for being unfaithful; for feeling like this.

His nervous eyes met Gina’s soft ones and he instantly melted under her stare, his stomaching wrenching at the prospect of hurting her.

He didn’t want to hurt her, but he didn’t want to hurt  _Clarke_  either.

But now they’d kissed and now it didn’t seem so easy to just bury his feelings for her anymore, it just wasn’t that simple.

He'd subsequently hurt them both; but only one of them was aware, and that made it even harder to look at Gina and pretend that nothing is wrong, that nothing happened.

“It’s okay to be upset that she’s upset” Gina nodded understandingly as she wrapped her arms cautiously around his tensed neck.

Bellamy screwed his eyes shut, his hands gathering in her hair; overwhelmed with guilt.

He knew he was a bad person, he’d known that all of his life. But when he held his girlfriend in his arms and all he could think about, was his hands in Clarke’s wavy blonde hair, he knew then he truly was the devil.

He pulled away, kissing her forehead delicately, hoping to ease the tension that surrounded them “I’m going to get some sleep, it’s been a long day”.

Gina nodded in agreement, a small smile tugging on her lips as she watched him walk upstairs to bed.

The following morning Bellamy awoke, his arm instinctively reaching out for Gina but he only felt the covers, they were cold.

She’d been gone awhile.

He rolled over to check the clock, it was 8.00am and he knew Gina well, she was never out of bed this early.

He sat up, wondering if Gina knew what had happened in their living room last night. If she knew of his infidelity, of his deceitfulness and his willingness to lie to her.

With his head in his hands he sighed, and for some time he sat worryingly still, staring at the wall opposite him. He stared so long, he began to envision small grey dots, he shook out of his stare, realising hiding upstairs wasn’t going to solve anything;  _or_  make him feel better.

Bellamy walked down stairs, surprised but fearful when Gina wasn’t there. He had to talk himself down, tapping into his head to stop himself from going insane.

He began dialling Clarke but he was met with her voicemail, cursing at himself for acting on his impulse to call her whenever he was in trouble.

He couldn’t do that, not anymore.

He paced the length of the house, rehearsing how to broach the subject with Gina and be honest with her. But then he’d start to stumble over his words out of fear at what his revelation might do, to not just him but Gina, Octavia and Clarke.

Fuck, Clarke.

He tugged at his curls in frustration, wondering how she is. How she’s coping. He hated the fact she was probably beating herself up, because after all she did initiate the kiss.

But Bellamy had responded willingly, but he knew Clarke wouldn’t see it like that, she’d blame herself. Like always.

Eventually, after what felt like a lifetime his front door opened, his head snapping up to see who had arrived.

He heard voices, there were at least two people and he thought for one crazy second it was Gina and Clarke, there to tell him what he really is, to out him as a careless, loveless fuck boy.

But at first, he just saw Gina, smiling to him as she unravelled her scarf from around her neck.

A wave of relief washed over him, she seemed okay. But his relief was premature as Octavia’s dark hair came into view, and his heart plummeted.

Octavia walked in coyly, her body maybe not intentionally seeking protection behind Gina’s but nevertheless Bellamy picked up on it and it only riled him up more.

“Bell, don’t get mad but I think you need to hear her out” Gina addressed him, focusing on trying to sound as calm as possible.

Bellamy scoffed, he didn’t need this, not right now “There’s nothing to hear”.

Octavia’s mouth snapped open and he waited for her to unleash her anger on him but Gina lay a hand on Octavia’s back and somehow Octavia’s mouth shut just as quickly as it had opened.

“Bellamy, she’s your sister” Gina reminded him.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, nostrils flared. He didn’t want to snap at her, he didn’t want to snap at either of them.

But he was so angry, whenever he looked at Octavia, he just saw her and Lincoln in bed together and he had to look away, the image only making his fist tighter.

“I know she’s my sister, but right now I don’t want to speak to her. I don’t want to see you Octavia. So please just go” Bellamy asked, he didn’t want to fight.

Octavia looked to Gina waiting for her to respond and Bellamy wished he’d missed the tears that were brimming in the corners of her eyes.

“Okay Bell. You need time, that’s okay. That’s okay isn’t it Octavia?” Gina nodded reassuringly, only stopping when Octavia nodded too.

Bellamy chewed the inside of his cheek, to stop him at smirking at their ‘together’ act. When only a few weeks ago, they’d been at each other’s throats.

He sulked into the kitchen, thankful they were out of earshot. He knew he couldn’t hide from this forever, he’d have to confront what Octavia and Lincoln are.

He knew he’d need to tell Gina the truth, but right now he was happy to be a coward; something he’d sworn he’d never be. 

Gina entered the kitchen, reaching out apprehensively for Bellamy’s hand. 

He hated how cold it felt in his, the bones of her fingers digging into his palm. 

Clarke’s never did.

He almost cried at the moment, he hated he was such an asshole who loved two people at once. 

Hated that he always compared them and that Clarke unanimously won every time. 

“I’m sorry if I brought Octavia over to soon” Gina whispered into his chest, where she’d buried her head. 

Bellamy’s heart swelled, the guilt only getting worse with every second that passed.

“Gina I- “.

“No, I’m sorry. Whenever you’re ready Bellamy” she replied.

Bellamy stared longingly at the floor, begging for it to swallow him hole. He was just going to tell her the truth but she’d cut him off and the confidence he’d managed to gather seemingly disappeared without a trace. 

He found himself hugging her, much more tightly then he needed. 

Gina never thought anything of it, figuring he was just upset about Octavia and Lincoln. 

* * *

A couple of days had gone by, Gina hadn’t braved bringing Octavia around again and as awful as it sounded Bellamy was glad to not see his sister. 

He needed time, time to adjust to what his little sister and one of his best friends meant to each other. 

He needed time to heal the wounds of betrayal that they’d left behind.

He’d resisted the urge to call Clarke, because hearing her voice her  _pretend you’re okay but you’re not_  voice would only tear him apart and subsequently make him fall further into his hole of self-pity and guilt. 

He did give in one afternoon, sending her a quick text. 

**I hope you’re okay Clarke, I miss you. I’m sorry**

He never got a response, but he’d half predicted he wouldn’t. He knew how she processed things, ignoring the problem was her main coping mechanism. 

Exactly a week after he caught his sister in bed with Lincoln and he and Clarke had shared a kiss, there was a knock on the door. 

Gina was at work so Bellamy had taken advantage of having the house to himself.

He was sprawled out on the couch watching a documentary he’d been saving to watch with Clarke.

But since that wasn't going to happen potentially ever again, he gave in and decided to watch without her annoying but very comforting commentary. 

He reluctantly pulled the blanket off his legs, dragging his feet behind him as he approached the door.

He opened it to reveal a nervous looking Octavia, a solemn looking Lincoln standing closely behind her. 

Bellamy didn’t say anything at first, just stared mouth partially open, jaw slack. 

Octavia discreetly reached for Lincoln’s hand, he gave it a firm squeeze. 

Bellamy stood to the side, allowing them enough room to walk inside. 

Octavia was taken aback by his gesture, there was a delay until Lincoln’s hand on her shoulder pushed her gently to go inside. 

Bellamy might have willingly let them in, but it didn’t stop him from burning holes in the back of Lincoln’s head _or_ fantasising about punching him again. 

Lincoln and Octavia shared one couch, leaving Bellamy to sit opposite them, the room felt unusually small, claustrophobic even. 

Lincoln yanked his sweater away from his neck, the tension in the room getting the better of him. He didn't want to come in the first place, but he knew how much this meant to Octavia and he wasn't going to let her down.

Lincoln was nervous and Bellamy thrived off the smell of his fear until he looked at Octavia and then a lump formed in his throat. 

 “Bell... I know what I- what we did was wrong. But I think we need to discuss the situation and talk openly about what happened and try and understand one another” Octavia said, voice very robotic.

Her choice of vocabulary made it obvious she’d been rehearsing this beforehand with Gina, making a small smile tug at the corner of Bellamy's pursed lips. 

When Bellamy didn’t respond, Octavia took it as a positive and continued confidently. 

“When me and Lincoln first met, I was instantly drawn to him. I mean look at him” she emphasised, wide eyes full of love, locking onto Lincoln’s. 

Bellamy shifted uncomfortably in his seat at his sisters remarks, Octavia turned her head to face him again, panic embedded in her features, “Sorry” she mumbled, shoulders slouching. 

“What I’m _trying_ to explain is, at first we both ignored it. Because of you, we didn’t want anything to upset our individual relationship with **you** ”.

Octavia's revelation made Bellamy's cheeks flush, relieved that both her _and_ Lincoln did care about him and they did value their relationships with him.

Octavia looked to Lincoln again, this time for support, “We didn’t want to be in to each other. We tried so hard to ignore it. But it just became harder. So yeah, we started sneaking around, never here in the house. We’d just go for coffee or the park, just little trips to get to know one another” Octavia explained.

Bellamy was still yet to give any input, but he hadn’t kicked them, every passing minute giving Octavia that much needed push of confidence. 

“That night you caught us in her room Bellamy, that was the first time we’d even touched each other. I swear it” Lincoln proclaimed, wrapping his hand around Octavia’s as it settled in his lap. 

“We never meant for you to find out the way you did. But you did and nothing can change that now. But Bellamy, I’m asking- hell no I'm begging you, if you love me. Truly love me, please let me be happy” Octavia cracked, wiping away the tear that fell down her cheek. 

Bellamy swallowed, he’d never seen his sister be so... serious about something. He’d certainly never seen her beg the way she had. 

“This guy makes you happy?” Bellamy asked, pointing a steady finger at Lincoln.  

Octavia nodded confidently “Yes, he does”.

Bellamy acknowledged her honesty, “If this if what you want. Then go ahead”.

Octavia perked up, her entire exterior lifting at his words as she looked at her brother then Lincoln in disbelief. 

“All my life I swore to protect you Octavia and keep you happy. If being with Lincoln makes you happy, I _can’t_ stand in the way of it” Bellamy explained, happy that he was able to stand by his values for his sister and not ruin them the way he had with Gina and Clarke.

Octavia rose up quickly from the couch, taking two steps towards her brother but he held his hand to instigate he hadn’t finished, Octavia's movements stilling.

“It’s going to take me some time, to get used to seeing you both together. So _please_ be patient with me. I won’t mean to be an asshole but eventually I’ll get over it okay?” He offered them both a tight smile.

Grateful that this was enough for Octavia as she wrapped her arms around his back tightly. 

“I love you big brother” she whispered, her voice vibrating across his torso. 

“I love you too”. 

Octavia took a step back, gesturing for Lincoln to approach her brother. 

The two boys shared an intense look before Lincoln outstretched his hand for Bellamy to shake. 

Bellamy wavered for a second, staring at Lincoln’s hand before squeezing it with his own. 

Before he knew what he was doing, he’d pulled Lincoln in close, slapping him on the back. 

He saw the smile on Octavia’s face and that was all he needed to remind himself this was all for her and it was worth it. 

“If you hurt her, I’ll kill you” Bellamy said, his tone flat as Lincoln retook his place next to Octavia. 

Lincoln looked unsurprised by Bellamy's statement, almost as if he was expecting it.

Octavia however scolded Bellamy words _and_ his tone, her dangerous glare making him rethink his declaration.

“I’m joking... kinda” he smiled, holding his hands up defensively. 

Octavia frowned “Oh, oh right okay” she collected herself, putting an arm on Lincolns chest as they headed towards the door.

The three of them parted ways, Bellamy waving them out. 

Closing the door, he felt remarkably lighter and less like he was going to explode at any minute. 

Later that day Gina came home and he couldn’t wait to tell her about his unexpected meeting with Octavia and Lincoln. 

But she came in, a sour look on her face and Bellamy’s happiness soon shrivelled up, his smile fading. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Shit day” Gina replied glumly. 

When she didn’t elaborate Bellamy changed the subject “Octavia and Lincoln popped in today”. 

Gina merely hummed in response, heading over to the fridge seemingly uninterested in the monumental step for him and his sister. 

“Yeah” Bellamy said, trying to not let her down play his relief in making up with his sister. 

“We’re okay now, at least we will be. One step at a time, right?” He asked. 

Gina didn’t have the courtesy to even hum a response this time, instead looking straight past him as if he wasn’t there. Like he didn’t even exist. 

“You know, just because you’ve had a shit day doesn’t mean you have to shit over mine” He said defensively.

“Fuck you Bellamy” Gina snapped, slamming the carton of milk she’d just retrieved from the fridge onto the counter.

Bellamy’s brow furrowed, his eyes searching her face for some kind of explanation, some reason she was acting like a complete moron.

But there wasn't one, not a shred of emotion on her face as she sulked upstairs, ignoring Bellamy's silent pleas to talk to him.

And that's how it started, every other night they would be in a mood full of rage and exempt from any level headedness, taking their emotions out on each other.

The part that scared Bellamy most, was that he didn't even know why it had come to this.

Maybe the guilt of kissing Clarke was eating away at him, the good parts of him.

But what was Gina's excuse?

What was she hiding that was making her self destruct from the inside out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd add Bellamy's POV as it's important for you guys to understand him.  
> As always comments and kudos are appreciated!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI, THIS WAS ORIGINALLY CHAPTER 13 BUT I'VE ADDED A NEW CHAPTER IN AND THIS IS NOW CHAPTER 14 - SO PLEASE READ CHAPTER 13  
> THANKS GUYS :)

So, this is how it feels, to lose someone you love. Although, theoretically you haven’t _lost_  them because they were never yours to lose in the first place.

It’s funny how the universe works Clarke pondered as she sketched in front of her window, in the hope it would take her mind off what happened two weeks ago.

She reached for the pencil that was slotted conveniently behind her ear, the tip of her tongue poking out between her lips.

The concentration mapped out across her face as she shaded in; maybe a little _too_ aggressively on her easel.

She saw sudden movements outside her window across the street, so she peered inquisitively around the side of her easel.

Being careful to make herself move discreetly, in case the bodies she could see from her window could see her too.

The familiar outline of a raging Bellamy Blake storming down his drive towards his truck, shoulders hunched, his right hand balled into a fist, drew Clarke in completely.

A million things danced around in her head; questions she wanted so desperately to ask, but knew she couldn’t, _not anymore_.

Clarke let out an exaggerated groan, that for once she  _wasn’t_  in the know how about Bellamy.

She watched curiously for another minute or so, her eyes firmly glued to Bellamy silhouette as it lent against the bodywork of his truck.

He rubbed his forehead repeatedly before lashing out, kicking a tyre; the instant wince of regret on his face made Clarke smirk in amusement.

He  _always_  hit something and regretted it straight after, typical Blake.

It didn’t take long for Gina to appear, and Clarke knew she _shouldn’t_ stare at what could potentially be a private moment, but she couldn't tear her gaze away.

She had a twisted desire to continue watching as Gina fled down the drive towards him, arms flying around beside her body in a frantic manner, her mouth spewing what looked like harsh words.

Their body language looked so unlike a ‘happy couple in love’ and Clarke couldn’t seem to pry her eyes away, figuring if it was meant to be a private moment, they shouldn’t have taken it out onto the street.

Gina looked like she’d been crying, she looked for once not so effortlessly perfect and Clarke felt an unexplained rise in her heart beat, palms becoming sweaty.

What if he’s _told_ her?

Not long after Gina came out, Octavia followed and something tore inside Clarke; she hadn’t seen her for _two weeks_.

Octavia bravely placed herself inbetween Bellamy and Gina who were still busy exchanging heated words.

Octavia the  _only_ thing keeping them apart, keeping them from touching distance.

Clarke felt a sudden wave of dejavu; she’d been there, it that position more times then she  _cared_  to admit. Keeping the peace between the Blake's, convincing them to forgive, forget and make up.

But watching from afar, seeing the three of them; she realised for the first time that they didn’t need her anymore.

Not like they used to. 

Bellamy had managed to make up with Octavia after the Lincoln situation without _any_ of Clarke’s input.

For the first time in literal years he forgot about his pride, admitting he was wrong and apologising – without any third degree or convincing from Clarke.

Yeah,  _she was bitter about that._

Because that was always their thing, the three of them.

Octavia reached out to Bellamy and he rebuffed the gesture; pushing her hand away.

Clarke saw the fire in his eyes, the heat simmering from his still tense shoulders, she could see it all, even from her bedroom window.

Octavia, although disheartened at her brother’s dismissal of her attempt to comfort him she instead turned her attentions to Gina, coercing her to come inside, Gina did so, reluctantly.

Although Octavia had convinced Gina to move, she still insisted on making a scene of turning around continuously to look at Bellamy as she spouted heated words in his direction.

But he ignored her attempt to provoke him, his attention locked firmly on the sky above.

Clarke’s immediate instinct was to go outside and find out what was going on, but she couldn’t bring herself to go.

What happened, or didn’t happen between them is something she couldn’t forget about and nothing in the world was going to convince her to get herself involved in something she had no place in.

So, she pried her herself away from the window and back to the safety of her drawing, keeping her craving of peering out the window at bay for a short while.

Eventually though, when her stomach churned, reminding her she hadn’t eaten all day Clarke gave in, sneaking a quick look outside; Bellamy and his truck had disappeared.

She lay her pencil on the side, finally acknowledging her hunger as she made her way downstairs to the kitchen.

Clarke was half way through her Mac n Cheese when her doorbell chimed. She completely stilled, her Mom wasn’t home and she wasn’t expecting anyone.

She wiped the small remains of cheese of her top lip with her arm, swallowing the last part of her sandwich quickly before peering through the peephole of her door.

It was Octavia.

A wave of panic overcame her as she debated what to do, but then Octavia called out “Clarke I can see you… it’s broad day light”.

Her tone was light, which partially settled Clarke’s nerves as she opened the door. She was met with a relieved smile from Octavia, before she edged closer to Clarke.

“I’ve missed you, I hope your trip was good” She muttered slowly into the crease of Clarke's neck as she enveloped her in a hug.

Clarke pulled away, brows furrowed before the lie she’d told Octavia came back to haunt her.

Clarke being Clarke, conjured a plan to avoid the Blake's by saying she was on holiday with her Mom in New York.

Which was kinda true, her Mom _was_ in New York and Clarke _was_ meant to go.

But after the whole kissing her best friend’s brother shit happened, she didn’t feel up to it anymore; she just forgot to mention _that_ part to Octavia.

“Yeah, I’m super tired. That’s why I haven’t called you” Clarke replied coolly, closing the door behind her as she gestured for Octavia to follow her into the kitchen.

“It’s okay, I figured I’d give you a day to recover before I ambushed you whilst you were eating Mac n Cheese” Octavia grinned, swiping a dollop of cheese onto her finger before licking it off.

“So, how’s thing at home now?” Clarke asked, trying to diminish any emotion from her face to not let on something was wrong.

“At the moment shit” Octavia groaned, pushing her body up onto the counter top.

“So, look I know you don’t want to listen to their relationship drama but it’s so hostile I need to tell someone before I have a mental breakdown” Octavia huffed before breaking out into a smile.

Clarke's lips perked up, thankful Octavia was sweet enough to acknowledge how hard it can be for Clarke to listen to things about the guy she _kinda_ loves and **his girlfriend**.

“I’m sure you heard they had that big house warming party y’know to welcome Gina and to announce their relationship properly?” Octavia paused, waiting until Clarke nodded before continuing.

“Well, long story short Bell found me and Lincoln together in my room…” Octavia held her breath in anticipation for Clarke’s reaction, but she faltered a little when she didn’t get one.

Octavia knew Clarke didn’t know any of this, so when Clarke didn't react to the news, she simultaneously frowned, mouth parting to ask why she didn't seem remotely bothered by the news.

But she decided against it, not wanting to deter away from the subject at hand.

“So, uh anyway- “ Octavia said, trying to collect herself “Bell went MIA for a while, everyone went home blah blah blah, and ever since  _that_  night, they’ve been arguing non fucking stop. Like _huge_ arguments, about the tiniest of things. At first, I thought maybe he’s just offloading his pent-up anger about me and Lincoln onto her" She took a much needed breath.

"Because you know, their  **‘together’**  but he’s actually _kind_ of accepting of me and Lincoln now, I mean he refrains from balling his fist up every time me and Linc kiss. But they’re  _still_  arguing, I just don’t know what it is” Octavia shrugged, voice breathless.

Clarke hummed, swallowing her confession back down quickly at the fear of her secret coming out – but what if it’s already out? 

What if Gina knows and that’s why they keep arguing.

Clarke clutched her stomach feeling a sense of nausea hit her.

Octavia noticed as she laid a concerned hand on Clarke’s shoulder “Hey, you okay?”.

“Yeah, I just ate my food to quick” She replied, hoping she sounded convincing enough.

“Clarke…” Octavia pressed, a warning tone embedded in the soft movements of her lips, her eyes watching Clarke suspiciously.

Clarke gulped, Octavia was her best friend… of course she knew when Clarke was lying.

Before she knew it, a tear slid down her cheek, she wiped it away defiantly, not now, not like this she willed herself to speak up with another lie.

But the concern embedded in the frown lines of Octavia's forehead, the fondness in her eyes broke through Clarke's hefty layers of lies.

The only thing Clarke could say was the truth.

“Me and Bellamy kissed” Clarke immediately recoiled from Octavia's hand on her shoulder, she didn't want to be touched.

The silence that followed was unbearable, Octavia’s foot stopped tapping almost instantly as she let out a low pitched yelp of surprise.

"You kissed?" Octavia's voice so painfully light that the hairs on Clarke's body stood upright.

She took a chance, eyes trailing up to meet Octavia's.

They looked straight through Clarke and she had an almighty urge to just run away, run from this, from Octavia. Clarke was building up to escape when Octavia's mouth parted again.

"Is that-" Octavia paused.

Clarke could see the billion and one questions dancing behind her best friends eyes, she saw the tinge of sadness buried behind her lashes and the way her words seemed to get stuck in her throat.

"Is that why you haven't come over? Why they've been arguing, did _he_ tell her? Did _you_ tell her?" She questioned, her tone abrupt as she edged significantly closer. 

"Is that why you've pulled away from me, distanced yourself from the house, from him?" Octavia pressed.

Her voice growing noticeably smaller as each word left her half parted lips, each word ripping a piece of Clarke up inside.

Clarke couldn't respond, her throat too tight to swallow, too tight to even comprehend a verbal response. She settled for a shaky nod, hoping that at least for now, it was enough, that it would suffice Octavia's hunger to know more.

Octavia sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and suddenly Clarke didn't know who she was standing by, Octavia _or_ Bellamy.

She ran her fingers through her hair and it was the first time Clarke acknowledged just how _alike_ the Blake's truly were. 

It was like Clarke was drowning, picturing Bellamy standing in front of her, shaky lips and frantic eyes, taking her back to that night. The look on his voice, the regret in his voice as he tried to ease her down gently.

But then Octavia's voice tore through her vivid recollection of that night and she found herself being gawped at by Octavia's jade green eyes and not Bellamy's brown ones.

"Clarke, I know this is hard. But I _need_ you to tell me what happened" Octavia said, her voice reasonably steady as she rejoined Clarke on the couch.

Clarke followed her, a nervous spring in her step as she realised there was no getting away from this. No pretending it never happened, she had to face the music, she had to face Octavia.

She smoothed out the crease in her sweatpants, any delay in opening up her wounds was worth it.

So, Clarke took her time, pulling her socks up, taking her jacket on and off but she knew Octavia and she knew she'd eventually grow agitated, after a couple of minutes of silence Octavia snapped.

"God dammit Clarke. I'm your best friend, I'm _trying_ to help you" Octavia rose up from the comfort of the Griffin's couch quickly.

"I want to know what happened, I want to know everything, I _want_ you to be honest with me and tell me how your feeling" She exhaled, her fingers grabbing Clarke's shoulder as she nestled her body into her side.

Clarke broke at the contact, at the warmth in Octavia's voice. A tear slid down her cheek, she brushed it aside hastily, but then another one followed and before she knew it, tear after tear began to stream down her face. 

Two week’s worth of pent up emotions finally breaking out of the cage she'd banished them too.

Octavia squeezed her arm, remaining mostly silent as she let Clarke regain control of her emotions, her sniffles evening out after a while.

"I'd gone on a date with Roan" She started, wishing she hadn't noticed the way Octavia's lips grew tight.

"It didn't end well and I had no phone, no money nothing. I was across the other side of town and I only knew one number off by heart" Clarke gulped.

"I didn't want to call him" She admitted, feeling a small sense of relief when Octavia looked like she believed her.

"So, I dialled him, he answered and we spoke. He said he'd come and get me. I'd forgot it was the house warming party. It never crossed my mind" Clarke shrugged.

Octavia nodded, refraining from her dire urge to ask questions, figuring waiting till the end would be best, for her _and_ Clarke.

"So anyway, he arrives and I look at him. With his shirt and jeans on and it hit me and I thought shit, I was annoyed with myself. But then he told me he'd left anyway, he briefly explained about you and Lincoln-"

"He told you?" Octavia snapped defensively, before her face smoothed out and she became placid again.

"Yeah, only vaguely though. But we were both feeling shitty, so we had a hot chocolate then he drove me home. But I didn't have my house key, so he took me inside and grabbed the spare key he has, remember?" Clarke asked biting on her lip hard, she knew what was coming next.

Octavia's head moved subtly as she hummed, noticing the way Clarke's chest started to rise and fall quicker and how she couldn't keep her gaze locked on one thing, instead it fleeted around the room, landing anywhere _but_ Octavia's face.

"We uh- he grabbed all these thoughtful things that he knew, he just _fucking_ knew I needed. And- I don't know what came over me, but next thing I knew we were kissing Octavia".

Clarke dug her nails deeply into her arm, refraining from the crack in her voice that was dangerously approaching.

" We were really kissing on the sofa and then as quickly as it happened, it stopped and I pushed myself off him. I was- I _am_ so embarrassed by it. O... I'm sorry" Clarke yelped, her eyes half closed as she awaited her best friends wrath.

But the wrath never came, only a soft hand on her cheek that made Clarke open her eyes.

"Clarke... I am so sorry he's done this to you" Octavia whispered.

Clarke frowned, mouth parted to ask what she meant but Octavia continued "I'm not mad at you, never. Ever. But him? He kissed you back Clarke, he shouldn't have done that. He's with fucking Gina and I-" Octavia paused, trying to soften the blow of her words.

"He knows better than to mess with you like that Clarke, I- I can't believe he's fucking done this. All this time he's been a total ass to Gina and now I know why" Octavia huffed aggressively.

"It's not his fault O" Clarke reasoned.

"I- We both kissed each other, but I know I initiated it. It was wrong and I feel so bad about it, but I can't stop thinking about him Octavia. I'm in love with him... but I can't be around him. Not after this" Clarke admitted, thankful that Octavia didn't scrunch her nose up the way she used to when they were kids.

She looked sad, as sad as Clarke felt and Clarke wondered why. Why she looked so disappointed; but time wasn't on her side as Octavia's body weight shifted off the couch.

"Where are you going O?" Clarke asked warily.

"Home" Octavia replied, annoyingly vague.

"Don't worry Clarke. I'm not gonna- I _won't_ tell Gina. But I am going to speak to Bellamy and there's no way your changing my mind" Octavia nodded affirmatively.

As Clarke could only watch on helplessly as her best friend left to go and confront her brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I last updated :(  
> I really appreciate the comments you guys leave, it only encourages me to carry on.  
> I think I suck at writing tbh but you guys seem to disagree :)  
> PLEASE go take a look at my other current fanfic, It's just you and me now huh?  
> It's set like the show, my take on the end of Season 5 then my own take on Season 6 - go and give it some love!  
> As always, kudos and comments are appreciated!  
> I would also LOVE to here your feedback on how you think the Blake's meeting is going to go.


	15. Chapter 15

Octavia rushed across the street, the wind ripping through her hair as it blew wildly behind her.

She would normally find it mildly amusing that the weather seemed to fit her mood; the storm surging in the sky above, a sad parallel to the storm brewing inside of her.

But the crisp frown in her forehead, and the hand balled into a fist at her side made it clear.

She _wasn't_ amused, not one _ounce_ of her was amused by this situation.

She eyed the driveway, Bellamy's truck was still noticeably absent, but that didn't deter Octavia from entering the house like the blinding hurricane that she was. 

 A gush of wind blew the front door shut, the noise shaking the house as it did so.

 

She heard movements in the living room, as she sucked in a needy breath to compose herself -  _Gina was still here_. 

There was no way she was going to throw Clarke under the bus, the decency even extending so far to her brother.

 

Who although at this moment in time she despised with every fibre of her being, would always protect him  _no matter what_.

Her temper thankfully eased out as she placed a firm hand on the door, she couldn't let on that anything was wrong, especially in front of Gina.

Octavia opened the door, but that was all she could remember as she felt an unexplained sensation on the back of her head.

Her hand instinctively reached out to soothe it, she applied gentle pressure, but she could already feel the warm liquid engulfing her shaking fingers.

She could already feel  _her blood_  oozing out onto her hand.

She removed her blooded hand, bringing it into view, her eyes dancing fearfully over it, there was so much fucking blood.

_Her blood._

Octavia didn't have the opportunity to do or say anything, as her body began to fall to the floor, a delayed reaction from the trauma her head had endured.

She figured it was nausea from looking at her own blood, but then she remembered that it had never bothered her before. 

It all happened in slow motion, her muscles unable to move quickly enough to stop her chin from hitting the floor with a thud, the pain already consuming her body.

Then she was met with darkness, as she began to loose consciousness.

Her eyes fluttering shut as a pair of black leather boots padded across the floor towards her.

Across the road Clarke checked her phone methodically, waiting for a text, a call,  _something_.

She peered nervously through the blinds on her downstairs window, she noticed that Bellamy's truck still wasn't outside.

Hopeful that it meant he was MIA too, and for a few hours at least, her secret would remain a **secret**.

_The calm before the storm_ ' as her mother would say. 

She sat for what felt like hours, in silence, knees tucked under her chin, but when she gave in and sneaked a glance at her phone, only minutes had passed; which only agitated her more.

A text from Raven lit up her screen and before she knew it, her phone was pressed to her ear, the lightness of Raven's familiar voice filing the line.

"I thought you'd forgotten about me Griffin" Raven huffed, but Clarke could sense the playful smirk tugging on her friends lips.

"I'm sorry" She replied, meaning it much more than Raven would know.

"S'okay, I would totally dump you all to go to New York too" She laughed, a homely sense of warmth in her tone.

A warmth Clarke didn't know she needed until now.

Clarke tried to ignore the lump forming in the back of throat, deciding against revealing her secret to Raven via a phone call.

Instead she steered the conversation onto safer topics, like college and the holidays and Raven.

 But her play it safe defence eventually broke down as Raven asked the question Clarke had hoped she wouldn't.

"How was your date with Roan? I forgot to ask" Raven sighed, annoyed she'd forgot to check in with Clarke about it prior to the phone call.

 Clarke's heart stopped, she paused, wondering if Raven would be able to tell if she was lying without seeing her in person.

"It was okay" Clarke lied, gaze dropping to the floor.

Raven sensed the uneasiness in her voice "Are you sure?".

Clarke nodded, forgetting for a second that Raven couldn't see her.

"Clarke?" Raven pressed.

 "Y- Yeah. Fine. You want to come over?" Clarke's suggestion tumbled from her shaky mouth in an attempt to salvage the conversation before she spilled her secret.

" _Hell_ yes, I want to see all your momentous from New York" Raven replied, her concern dwindling amidst the excitement of getting to see her best friend for the first time in weeks.

Clarke stilled a little, she knew she'd have to come clean about everything to someone beside Octavia eventually, why not Raven?

Within an hour, an overly excited Raven was hammering on the door to the Griffins household.

Clarke hadn't managed to open the door fully before Raven barged in, enveloping Clarke in an enthusiastic hug. 

"I'm going to be soppy here... but fuck it, I've really missed you" Ravens breathless declaration made Clarke's heart swell.

"I've missed you too" Clarke replied, softening her grasp on Raven's shoulder as she took a step back.

They collapsed onto the couch, silence settling between them.

Clarke didn't know if it was the silence, or the weird dejavu feeling she got sitting next to Raven in the same spot as when she saw Octavia.

But before her mind had time to process what to say, her mouth took charge and said it for her.

"Raven... I gotta tell you something" Clarke mumbled, turning her body to face Raven front on.

Raven expression quickly changed as she picked up on the uncertainty in Clarke's voice.

Seconds slipped past, the crease of concern in Raven's forehead deepening with every second that Clarke remained quiet.

"My date with Roan was  _horrible_ , he left me. I called Bellamy and he took me home. And then- I well- I kissed him, and, and- we kissed" Clarke stuttered.

Clarke drew a hand to her open mouth, surprising even herself at how easily the truth had passed through her lips.

Relieved it didn't hurt as much as when she has told Octavia.

Raven didn't react at first and Clarke thought that she had imagined her confession.

But Raven's tight lips eventually broke out into a blinding smile, which only confused Clarke more.

"This is the best news I've heard all year" Raven admitted in relief, her shoulders straightening as she tried but failed to compose herself.

"W- What?" Clarke barked, cheeks flushed.

"This is like... exactly what I knew would happen" Raven's daring eyes never leaving Clarke's.

 Clarke frowned, confused how her friend could find such delight,  ~~in possibly the best few seconds of her life~~ her stupid mistake.

"Clarke, don't you see? Bellamy is fucking crazy in love with _you_ " Raven frowned, titling her head to the side in disbelief.

There's no way this is news to Clarke, Raven thought. But the horrified look plastered over Clarke's face suggested otherwise.

"I've been waiting for this for months. I can't believe it's finally happened" Raven grinned.

She was silently happy her gut feeling about Clarke and Bellamy was right - _they are meant for each other._

Clarke flinched at Raven's words, Raven seemed so happy by the news, that a little part of Clarke felt happy too.

But then Raven began talking about it further and Clarke's shoulders began to sink, lower and lower until her body crumbled.

"Are you guys like together now then? He didn't tell Gina the real reason he dumped her though right? I bet Octavia's stoked, this is amazing. Have you just kissed, what abo-".

Raven stopped talking the minute she noticed the wetness in Clarke's blue eyes.

"Bellamy and Gina are still together Rae... he- they love each other and what happened was a mistake. _I_ know that and _he_ knows that" Clarke gulped.

Telling herself maybe one day saying his name won't make her eyes water, or her throat go tight.

A look of horror reached all corners of Raven's face, as she reached out to comfort Clarke "What the fuck Clarke, I'm so sorry".

Clarke shook her head "Don't say that. I kissed him and he has a girlfriend".

She took a breathe of composure "if anything I should be apologising to Gina... But I don't think she knows" Clarke's free hand swatting away the runaway tears running down her neck.

"This is so fucked up" Raven groaned, squeezing Clarke's arm.

Clarke scoffed "Tell me about it".

"There's something else though Rae... please don't be mad" Clarke pleaded.

"You can tell me Clarke" Raven replied, the sincerity in her voice evident. She meant it.

Clarke sucked in a breath "I never went to New York. I just hid in my house and ate shit and cried and then ate more shit".

"I'm so pathetic aren't I?" She asked Raven as she tugged on the ends of her hair in embarrassment of the state she was in.

"God, no Clarke. Your someone who's heart has been broken and your allowed to feel shitty, it's not okay to lie to me though. You should of told me, I would of stayed here with you" Raven groaned.

She loved Clarke a great deal and she really wished Clarke had been brave enough to tell her sooner, so she could of helped her through it.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just; we've been through so much... Me and him and I couldn't turn to O, she would of freaked" Clarke sniffed.

"Have you told her?" Raven asked, her eyebrows shooting further up her forehead.

Clarke nodded, a small chuckle escaping as she watched Ravens reaction.

"You fucking didn't, Griffin are you crazy?!" Raven screamed "She's going to slaughter him, _literally_ ". 

Clarke smile in amusement at Raven "No, she might hurt him. But I think he'll survive" the unseen strain on her heart began to slowly ease.

Raven returned the smile, "Can I ask you something?".

"Yeah, sure" Clarke replied.

"You haven't got to say if you don't want too... but, how did it feel? Kissing him?" Raven asked.

Being conscious to not pry into it to much because she didn't want to upset Clarke.

Clarke paused, realising she'd never actually thought about it properly until now.

"I uh- Yeah. He tasted like hot chocolate, we shared one on the way home and uh-" Clarke's wet cheeks flushed.

"It was magic, I know that sounds dumb. But, it happened and it was perfect, those few seconds were _perfect_ " Clarke admitted.

Her mind replaying the way his lips felt against hers and the way his fingers nestled into her hair.

She bit down on her lip to contain her smile at the memory, because the aftermath had caused her so much pain and to some extent pain for Bellamy too.

But she tried to not think of that, think what impact it's had on him and how he's copying.

Because thinking of him, would lead to other things and she couldn't afford to fall into the world of Bellamy Blake again.

She'd managed to escape with a singe this time but next time she probably wouldn't be so lucky.

"I'm sorry it's ended like this. If it makes you feel any better, he probably feels shitty too" Raven said, eyes not looking at Clarke.

Clarke shrugged, "It doesn't, but thanks Rae".

Raven nodded, appreciating Clarke's honesty as she decided to change the subject.

"Where's Octavia, should we invite her round? Or will it be weird?".

"We can, later if you'd like? She left about 2 hours ago, to go and confront Bellamy. It's weird though, she hasn't sent me a scary text message yet to say where his body is" Clarke teased.

"Well... let's just say I'd love to be a fly on the wall over at the Blake's right now" Raven grinned.

* * *

Octavia couldn't remember a thing, but the distant yet still active throbbing in the back of her head told her something _had_ happened.

She tried to reach for her head, but her wrists were bound together tight behind her back.

Panic began to set in, as her movements were restricted by the ties, making her more agitated by the second.

Octavia tensed her muscles, trying one last time to create any sort of leeway on her restraints, but it was no use.

She eventually stopped fighting against the ties when they began to dig into her skin. It was a painful sensation but the fear radiating around her body thankfully numbed it to some extent.

She looked around, darkness surrounding her, all except for a small window across the other side of the room.

The moonlight the only indication to what time of day it was, but she had no idea where she was, or how long she'd be out cold for.

Had she been there hours, days, hell weeks. Octavia tried to compose herself, steadying her breaths the best she could.

Because there's no way she could focus if she allowed herself to be consumed by panic and fear.

She practised the breathing exercises Clarke had taught her summers ago, to keep her temper at bay. 

She winced, selfishly wishing Clarke was here with her, because Clarke would be able to figure a way out.

She was the brains, Octavia the muscle.

Once her chest began to rise and fall at a normal pace, she looked around the room again.

Her eyes began to adjust to the dark, making it easier for her to see the outlines of a table opposite her, and a door.

A fucking door.

She attempted to move but her body was bound to the chair she was sitting on. Octavia debated whether it was worth the risk to move or not.

She blew the hair from off her face, her bead of sweat making it stick, she _needed_ to calm down.

Octavia closed her eyes and began to hum the nursery rhyme Bellamy had taught her as a child.

Her senses were on high alert as she listened out intently for a familiar noise, or smell, anything.

Anything to help her understand where she was.

Octavia stopped humming the second she heard movements above her. It was footsteps, she was sure of it.

She dug her nails into her palm in an attempt to keep herself calm as the noise became louder, the footsteps heavier.

They were getting closer, _closer_ to her.

Octavia wasn't someone who was easily scared, so she took herself by surprise when she felt a tear run quickly down her cheeks.

I mustn't cry, she scolded herself. I can't be weak, not here.

_Wherever here is._

A noise came from the door she'd managed to spot earlier, making her jump in fear.

The noise was followed by a creak as the locks were opened, then the turn of a key, the friction of the door moving across the floor as it was pushed open.

It all sounded worryingly familiar to Octavia, but she couldn't think for the life of her where it was from.

She could hear someone else's breathing now, theirs was normal, clear, confident.

Octavia held her breath, closing her eyes to trick the person into thinking she was still knocked out.

She heard the click of boots saunter across the concrete floor, each step was closer, louder than the one before.

Octavia held her nerve, she'd faked being asleep a thousand times, now should be no problem.

Octavia thought she'd succeeded in playing 'dead' but when she heard the voice of her capture, her facade vanished.

 Her eyes were wide in disbelief as her head shot up to confront the person standing dangerously close to her.

_**"** **It's you"...**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys - WTF right? Please leave me your suggestions of who you think is holding Octavia hostage!!!!??? I'm so excited for the next two chapters to be uploaded.  
> Also, yay baby Raven is back.  
> As always, comments and kudos are appreciated!


	16. Chapter 16

**_“It’s you” …_ **

Octavia’s mouth hung open, as she laid her disbelieving wide eyes on her capture... Or should she say her unofficial sister in-law.

Gina greeted Octavia as if they were old school friends, even going so far as to hug her.

Octavia's body froze as Gina's arms reached around her back in a comforting manner, she held her breath, fearful that Gina could do anything within a matter of seconds.

Gina pulled back her eyes dancing fearfully around Octavia’s, as if embarrassed and a little frightened at what she'd done to Octavia.

Eventually, her voice broke the seal of silence.

“Are you doing okay?” Gina asked, brows scrunched together in concern.

Octavia scoffed at Gina's expression, rebuffing her concern, sensing it was a trap. 

She  _looked_  like Gina and  _sounded_  like Gina.

But there was an unusual menacing flare in her plain brown eyes that kept appearing, one that Octavia had never noticed before.

A flare that made the hairs on Octavia's bare arms stand upright, and made her throat grow tight.

“Shhh, don’t worry. I won’t hurt  _you_ ” Gina chuckled lightly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh yeah? Tell that to the back of my head” Octavia fired back fiercely.

Her hand moving instinctively towards the throbbing pain on the back of her head, the cable ties on her wrist however made it impossible to move.

Gina’s smile grew wide, turning more sadistically confident the longer Octavia scowled.

“ _Now now_  Octavia. I don’t have to hurt you, but  _don’t_  tempt me” Gina warned.

Octavia was always inclined to call people’s bluffs, but she wisely deterred away from riling Gina up - she didn't know what Gina was capable of; not anymore.

“Why am I here?” Octavia asked, her careful tone echoing around them.

“Octavia, I must admit for someone who considers herself a people watcher, you aren’t very observant are you?” Gina gloated, as she dragged the table over, sitting on top of it across from Octavia.

Octavia didn’t respond, her mind still attempting to process the situation, as Gina gave her a knowing smirk.

“Your _friend_ kissed my boyfriend...” Gina snarled, refraining from saying Clarke’s name, the smile on her face quickly became replaced with a tight-lipped frown.

Octavia sucked in a breath, her mind trying to comprehend how the fuck Gina knew about this. She braved looking into Gina’s eyes, hoping she couldn’t see through Octavia’s warped guilt in already knowing.

“How do you know?” Octavia replied, as calmly as possibly able; given the circumstances.

“Well, after the whole birthday party fiasco, I had a weird incline that she liked Bellamy. So, I set some camera’s up in the house.... You know to watch” Gina beamed, not an ounce of regret on her face.

“To spy” Octavia butted in, clenching her mouth shut to prevent herself from saying anything else.

“Yeah- whatever” Gina shook her head, shuffling her body uncomfortably on the table at the truth in Octavia's words.

“Anyways, that day we went to the diner for some food, Bellamy scolded me for talking to her the way I did. And I  _knew_ I just had to get back at him”.

"I mean... imagine that. Your boyfriend siding with some preppy air headed _child_ over his own girlfriend" Gina snapped, shaking her head in disbelief at the memory.

"She's not an airhead and she's not a child either" Octavia countered, seeing Gina's facade beginning to crumble piece by piece allowing Octavia to maintain the upper hand; her confidence growing.

"You are making this incredibly difficult for me to not hurt you Octavia. I suggest you quiet down, otherwise you'll miss the next part of my story".

Gina’s smile grew wider in satisfaction as she recalled her clever act of revenge to Octavia.

“At our house warming party, I knew where _you and Lincoln_ were. I _knew_ what you were doing. I saw him go upstairs, I _could_ have stopped him. But I  _wanted_  Bellamy to see it”.

The revenge was evident in Gina's bright eyes as they looked down smugly at Octavia's sickened face.

Octavia’s stomach dropped, heart race increasing by the second. She neglectfully looked away, eyes brimming with angry, salty tears.

"Why would you do that to me?" Octavia demanded angrily, confused why she had become a pawn in Gina's fucked up plan of revenge.

“I figured he’d come crawling to me, to help him. Make him  _feel_ better” Gina said, the pleasure in her eyes vanishing as her eyes dropped to the floor.

Octavia sensed a but.

“But he didn’t” Gina cleared her throat.

“He went to go and rescue _her,_ and then she had the audacity to kiss him, _my_ boyfriend, in our own fucking house” Gina snapped, her voice growing louder towards the latter half of her sentence.

Octavia remained silent still, as if loosing the ability to form a single sentence, her brain trying but failing to process this all. 

“But don’t worry O. I’m _going_ to forgive him. Once he’s told me the truth” Gina's voice filled with light, smiling the angelic smile Octavia was accustomed to.

“If you forgive him… why am I here? Like this?” Octavia countered, not convinced Gina would be so easily able to forgive Bellamy, when she can't even stomach saying Clarke's name.

“I need a reason for him to seek me, to want me, to need me. What better way than taking the thing he loves most away? This _will_ work” Gina replied.

“What if this doesn’t bring you closer though?” Octavia cowered, arching her head towards the ground, silently cursing at herself for asking something like that.

“Of course, it will” Gina snapped defensively, arms folded in defiance.

Octavia must have gotten into her head because Gina rose from the table hastily, retracing her steps back across the room before waving sarcastically at Octavia as she shut the door behind her.

Octavia’s body sunk into the chair she was tethered too, her head rolling back as she stared at the ceiling above her head.

She stared silently for a couple of minutes, her squinted eyes beginning to make out the small words etched onto the ceiling.

“C... G ...” She whispered, her eyes following the trail of letters.

“Oh my god” Octavia whispered, her eyes widening in hope “I’m in my fucking basement”.

The revelation brought her comfort, knowing she hadn't been taken away from everything she knows and loves.

She began to feel smug, ripping Gina's 'master' plan to pieces, because surely if she screamed loud enough, Bellamy would hear her right? 

But her smile soon grew smaller, disappearing altogether at the realisation that Bellamy didn’t _know_ she was there.

And he'd never think to look in their basement, because like Octavia he was under the impression it had been blocked off years ago.

And until he admits his infidelity with Clarke to Gina, she’ll remain here, in their stupid fucking basement.

Octavia knows her brother, she knows him well.

For the first time, she despised her great knowledge of her brother, because it confirmed the outcome she feared most.

Octavia knows he won’t ever drop Clarke in it, he'll never let Clarke be in the firing line, which only leads to one outcome, **he’ll never tell Gina.**

Octavia shook her head slowly, refusing to think of what might happen to her, Bellamy and even Clarke if things don’t go according to Gina’s plan.

Because they've always taught each other to have hope, why would now be any different.

* * *

Bellamy pulled up outside his house, switching the ignition off, the dashboard lights fading out.

Although he’d voluntarily drove back home, he couldn’t face getting out of the car and walking back into an never ending argument with Gina, he was to mentally exhausted.

So, he sat in his truck, fingers drumming absentmindedly against the steering wheel, eyes fixated on the stupid pineapple air freshener hanging from the hook.

Clarke had bugged him for weeks to get it, he smiled fondly at the memory. Bellamy's eyes instinctively looking up to the Griffin's house at the thought of the Blonde.

He gulped, thoughts drifting to Clarke and that night.

The night that changed everything, but not in the way he’d hoped.

He wondered if she’d enjoyed New York, not giving into the temptation to contact her to find out.

He was jealous to the core when he’d accidentally eavesdropped on Clarke and Octavia’s phone conversation.

Selfishly hoping she hadn’t visited the natural history museum. Because that was their thing, one of the things on their stupid bucket lists that Octavia had made them do.

_“We should go together” Clarke had offered and of course Bellamy had willingly accepted it and they spoke about it sometime after, promising they would go._

_Someday._

He hoped that someday was still on the table, regardless what happened between them.

He wants Clarke Griffin in his life.

He always will.

The Griffin’s house descended into darkness, the lights cutting out abruptly, dampening his visibility of their front porch.

The street light offered minimal light, but not a lot was needed to see the golden hair of the girl across the street.

She tossed a glance behind her, as another figure coming into view. His territorial reflex kicking in, as his fingers tightened around the steering wheel.

But as quickly as they grew tight, they relaxed when he realised it was Raven and _not_ some asshole like Roan.

Bellamy took in the sight of the girl he hadn’t seen since that night, reminiscing about how soft her lips were, and how delicate her hands felt through the thin cotton of his shirt.

He became distracted once again by the charm of Clarke Griffin. His admiring thoughts briefly stopping when he realised, she was heading in his direction, or rather in the direction of his house.

He silently thanked himself for shutting the engine off when he did, as it didn’t draw Clarke’s attention to his truck or him, she never actually noticed him; too busy conversating with Raven to realise.

Bellamy tried to ignore the fire that had began to ignite in the pit of his stomach, thinking after that night it had well and truly been stomped out.

But it was fierce, determinedly surging through his body at remarkable speed.

It reached his throat, this burning desire to see her up close, to hear her fucking laugh and smell her coconut shampoo.

He unbuckled himself, opening the car door on impulse before following them hastily down the path to his house.

Raven spotted him first, cautiously tugging on Clarke’s arm to get her to focus her attention behind her.

But Clarke being Clarke continued to ramble on about something that Bellamy couldn’t make out, her animated arm movements made the corners of his mouth curl.

He'd missed that. 

_He'd missed her._

He was breathless by the time he’d caught up with them, finding himself incapable of speaking when Clarke turned around.

Her ocean eyes briefly met his, before dropping to the floor, he wished he’d missed the pain in her eyes, but it was too late now.

“Hey” Bellamy shrugged, his hand scratching the back of his neck.

“Hey Blake” Raven bumped his bicep with her fist, her smile curling into a smirk.

Bellamy was for once thankful for Raven’s somewhat annoying nature. It made the situation feel moderately more normal.

Raven was clearly trying to make the air surrounding them less suffocating, and for that Bellamy was eternally grateful.

He looked nervously to Clarke again, knowing she wouldn’t ignore him forever, “Hey Clarke”.

Clarke’s body seized up, unsure how she felt hearing her name leave this lips.

“Hey” Clarke exhaled after a beat, being mindful to keep her emotions at bay.

“We were just coming to get O” Raven informed him as she linked her arms with Clarke's.

Clarke squeezed Raven's arm, silently thanking her for taking the reins of the conversation.

Bellamy nodded, his eyes finding Clarke's again out of habit "Did you enjoy New York?" he asked, pulse quickening.

Clarke swallowed, neglecting how her stomach flipped when their eyes met It was amazing I-". 

Clarke briefly stopped, _reign it in Griffin reign it the hell in_ , she told herself, collecting herself before continuing.

"Good. Thanks" She nodded curtly.

Bellamy offered her a forced smile, trying to ease the tension swarming through his chest.

He hated that she stopped herself, hated that the girl in front of him _wasn't_  his Clarke.

She never gave two word answers, she never didn't want to talk; especially to him.

This was hard for him too, he wished she'd see that.

"That's good then" He replied flatly, as if giving up.

He walked past the two of them, his elbow grazing Clarke's side inadvertently.

He craned his neck to the side, so used to see the whites of her eyes as she rolled them whenever he deliberately bumped into her. 

He waited for the laugh that normal followed the squeal of his name, but it never came. Any of it.

Instead Clarke kept her gaze firmly on the ground, knowing if she didn't look at him, she was hopefully certain she'd make it to the front door without crying.

Bellamy looked away bitterly, disappointment cursing through his body.

He put his key in the lock forcefully, groaning when it wouldn't open.

Raven stifled a laugh, her hand trying to mask the giggle that surpassed her lips.

She nudged Clarke playfully, eyes silently pleading with her to at least try with him.

"God damn door" Bellamy huffed, as he struggled against the tiny metal key in the palm of his hand.

He shoved against the door hard, relieved when it finally opened and his embarrassment crept away.

"Nice work Blake, for a minute I didn't think you were gonna make it" Raven jeered, slapping him across the back in congratulations.

Clarke's smile grew, before she gave in and laughed as Raven mocked Bellamy.

Bellamy's movement stopped, his breath getting caught in his throat as he heard Clarke Griffin laugh.

He coughed, trying to recover quickly in the hope the action went unnoticed, but the calculating glance Raven cast his way told him _she knew._

He gulped nervously, "See you later" his footsteps padding up the stairs and across the landing.

Raven eyed Clarke suspiciously, "What Raven?" Clarke bit down on her bottom lip.

"Don't _what_ me Griffin. Are you seriously not going to comment on how he nearly collapsed at hearing you fucking laugh?!" Raven quipped, being mindful to keep her voice hushed whilst in the Blake house.

Clarke rolled her eyes in disagreement, steering her body towards the kitchen where you'd normally find Octavia.

Raven opened the door, surprised to not find Octavia eating her body weight in chocolate like she normally does when she gets unexpected, unwanted news.

Clarke shrugged "Maybe she's upstairs?".

"Who are you after?" A voice asked.

Raven's wide eyes confirmed what Clarke hoped wasn't true.

**It was Gina.**

"Hey Gina" Raven cut in, positioning herself in front of Clarke, giving her the much needed time to pull herself together.

"Raven" She nodded.

Gina's eyes dared to look at the girl who stole a kiss from her boyfriend "Clarke".

Clarke's palms became sweaty as she thrust them into her back pockets, "Gina, hey. We're just looking for O".

"Octavia? No she isn't here. I've been home all day, she hasn't been back for hours now" Gina informed them, swiping the rusty basement keys into the depth of her pocket.

Clarke clocked the key in Gina's hand's but she was too distracted by Gina's comment to focus on it any longer.

"Wait, she's not here?" Clarke frowned in confusion.

Gina shook her head, "Like I said, I haven't seen her for hours" Gina shrugged, taking her opportunity to piece her plan together.

"Maybe you should go upstairs and ask Bellamy, I'm sure he'll know Clarke" Gina smirked, her back to the girls as she rummaged through the fridge. 

Clarke shook her head automatically at the thought of speaking to Bellamy again, but Raven's voice overwrote her inner thoughts. 

"Yeah, we'll go check with Bellamy" Raven replied hesitantly "Thanks Gina".

Raven's hesitation brought a great deal of satisfaction to Gina's ears.

 _Raven_   _knows what they did._

Raven pulled on Clarke's resisting arm, steering her towards the bottom of the stairs, coercing her to go upstairs and find Bellamy.

"Why do I have to go?!" Clarke demanded, voice hushed as Raven pressed a gentle hand to Clarke's mouth.

"Griffin, just fucking breathe okay. You gotta speak sometime, just ask where Octavia is and then we can go. Okay?" Raven pleaded, nudging Clarke towards the stairs.

Clarke sighed, knowing she couldn't escape the inevitable, hating that Raven was right.

Whether she liked it or not, she _had_ to speak to Bellamy sooner or later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Gina is a fucking psychopath like y'all said ahahahahhahhhahaha.  
> Please leave your thoughts down below!!!


	17. Chapter 17

Clarke didn't know it was factually possible for every inch of your body to shake at the same time.

She was unfortunate in finding out however that your body could do just that, as she pressed her sweaty palm against the banister, attempting to keep one half of her body moderately still.

"You can do this Clarke" She whispered encouragingly to herself, as she stopped short of Bellamy's bedroom door.

Her knuckles tapped lightly against his solid wood door, it felt abnormally strange to make her presence known, to seek permission before entering.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had knocked on his door; bitterly reminding herself of the luxury they once shared with one another.

She heard the gruffness of his voice mumble through the door, she paused; could see really do this?

Be in close proximity with the boy she loves. Just the two of them, in a room that’s covered floor to ceiling in things that remind her of Bellamy.

“It’s... it’s me. Clarke. Can I come in?” She asked, voice agonisingly shaky.

There was a pause, one that seemed to last forever in her head, but in reality it was only a few short seconds.

But it was still a _pause_ , still a _hesitation_. The small silent gap in time only fed her insecurities, _he doesn’t want you here Clarke._

Bellamy eventually cleared his throat, “Yeah, sure”.

Clarke nodded slowly, telling herself it wouldn’t be so bad, that she was reading too much into it. She placed a firmer hand on the door, pushing it open as confidently as she could manage.

The creak of the door as it swung open alerted Bellamy to her presence, he lent against his dresser, body going rigid at the sight of her in his- their room, his _and_ Gina’s room.

He swallowed thickly, his shoulders dropping slowly as he began to relax, muscles easing under Clarke's innocent blue-eyed stare.

“Hey” Clarke smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Bellamy tried to ignore it, over looking Clarke by staring at the top of his door frame “Hey”.

Their eyes met for a brief second before Bellamy tore his eyes away, chest rising and falling rapidly, as he moved to the other side of the room.

His back was now to Clarke, and he was thankful she couldn’t see the fluster contorted on his face as he silently prepared himself to face her again.

Clarke stood awkwardly by the door, not sure if she should just walk back out and forget about this whole thing.

But being in this room, his room, heightened her senses beyond belief and the feeling was something she’d been guiltily missing,  _and_ craving for some time.

“Octavia isn’t here, do you know where she is?” Clarke asked, the nail digging into her palm a firm reminder she couldn't bail on this now.

Bellamy shook his head, “No".

There was another pause and Clarke pleaded for the ground to swallow her whole, and put her out of her misery. 

These stupid fucking pauses. 

"Uh- She tried to call me earlier actually but I figured it would be about me and Gi-".

He stopped talking, panicked eyes fleeting to Clarke's, this time they weren’t afraid to look directly into hers.

Her face didn't show any physical reaction to her hearing Gina's name and he was partly thankful she didn't appear to be hurt by his words.

Yet the irrational part of him was disappointed, because he _wanted_ her to care, he _wanted_ her to show it bothered her.

As fucked up as it sounded he wanted her to hurt the way he hurts, but like he knew all along, she didn't like him.

_Not like that._

"It's okay" Clarke sympathised, eye brow furrowing in what can only be described as pity.

She took a small step towards him, before freezing on the spot at her instinctive movement to go towards him, to comfort him.

She couldn’t do that anymore, she couldn’t _be_ that way; not with him.

Bellamy acted as though he didn’t see it, like he didn’t see her entire body lock up and falter at the thought of getting closer to him.

He coughed to hide the pang rippling through his chest, diverting both of their attention back to the original question.

"Let me check my voicemail and see what she said" He muttered, channelling his concentration onto his phone and away from his increasing heart rate.

Clarke nodded back, appreciative of his willingness to help track Octavia down. Thankful he didn’t react to her awkwardly backtracking across the room like a moron.

But then it hit her, Octavia's voicemail, what would it say?

Her body reacted quicker than her mouth, charging towards Bellamy, the movement startled him into silence as she swiped his phone out of his grip. 

"Clarke, what the hell" Bellamy bit, his words harsher than he’d intended them to come out.

Clarke heaved, emotions spilling out of her in a torrent of fear, panic and desperation.

“I, I. Bellamy I’m- “she stuttered, the panic reaching her throat.

Bellamy reached out to grab her shoulders, to steady her shaky body but she freaked out, swatting him away like water being doused over a roaring fire.

“Don’t” She snapped bitterly, her boarding tears turning into anger.

Bellamy’s firm grip left her shoulders, his eyes screwed up and Clarke thought for a second he was going to yell, but the defeat was evident in his face as he folded his arms across his chest in a defensive manner. 

“What the hell did I do?!” He asked nonchalantly, trying his best to contain the argument to the room and not downstairs to an unsuspecting Gina.

Clarke clamped her jaw shut tightly, refusing for now at least to spill her secret to him.

But Bellamy continued to glare at her distastefully, the week’s worth of anger that had been strapped down inside of him had finally broke free and unluckily for Clarke, she was the target.

"God dammit Clarke. Stop treating me like... like- this. I'm your friend aren't I? What the hell did I do?! I'm just doing what you asked!" Bellamy spewed, his face an angry scowl, as he thrust a hand into the air.

"Bellamy...".

Clarke was stumbling now, she knew he'd eventually smell a rat. He'd figure out what she'd done, _what_ she'd said and  _who_ she'd said it to.

But maybe the fire spreading through his body was a bigger distraction that Clarke had initially thought, because he just continued to burn holes at her face as he paced back and forth across the length of the room.

Clarke eventually took a few brave steps towards him, he stopped mere inches away from her.

They circled one another in the middle of the room, they were much closer than before.

Clarke noticed the faint blue and black circles surrounding his eyes, and she wondered why he hadn’t been sleeping.

Her eyes shamefully drank in his face, until her eyes landed on his and her breath became caught in her throat once more.

Clarke's tongue swiped over her bottom lip in panic, Bellamy's eyes following the movement intensely.

But he quickly snapped out of it, a tiny shake of his head was enough to bring his attention back to his phone that was clasped tightly in Clarke's hand; with no explanation yet given.

He raised an eyebrow, growing impatient at her non-responsive state.

"Well?" He pressed, placing a hand on his hip as he began to finally calm down.

He was giving off serious 'Annoyed Dad' looks, and Clarke had to restrain herself from poking fun at him, giving into an amused smirk instead as she felt herself crumbling under his intense gaze.

"Bellamy... I" She started, but her throat felt so fucking tight.

She knew he would hate her for this, and even though they aren't exactly on speaking terms right now, she knows he doesn't hate her, at least for now.

But once she admits what she's done, she knows it will change and it scared her beyond belief.

"God dammit Clarke, just tell me" He sighed, rubbing a hand through his curls.

Clarke’s eyes began to glass over, and maybe that’s what prompted Bellamy’s hands to ghost over her elbows, steering her directly opposite him.   
  
A tiny crease on his forehead was visible as he waited patiently for her to compose herself.   
  
After a minute or so, he asked softly, “What’s wrong?”.  
  
Clarke’s face was strained, she swallowed thickly, she looked up at him with apologetic eyes.

”I’m sorry” she whispered, her breath cool against his hot cheeks.  
  
“What for? You haven’t done anything?” Bellamy asked, her arms slipping from his gentle grasp.  
  
Clarke closed her eyes, her mouth parting in preparation for what was about to fall from it.   
  
“I told Octavia” she muttered.  
  
“Told her what?” Bellamy asked dumbly.  
  
Clarke would laugh at his ignorance if it wasn’t so agonisingly painful for her to have to spell it out for him.  
  
“About us” She said flatly.   
  
Bellamy sucked in a breath and Clarke absentmindedly tensed, awaiting for his voice to get louder, his soft eyes to change.   
  
But they didn’t, his eyes were calculating, watching her silently.   
  
He didn’t respond and her already building uneasiness about this whole thing made her more fragile than normal.   
  
She scoffed, rolling her eyes at him “Good talk”.   
  
She turned on her heel, preparing to exit the room as quickly as possible, she’d already wasted enough time there.  
  
She felt his weight on the floor boards shift, his steps falling in time with hers as he reached out needfully for her hand.

Bellamy’s face remained unreadable and Clarke began to regain her confidence, hoping no emotion was good.

“Does she know, everything?” Bellamy asked surprisingly calm, yet his eyes were looking anywhere but at Clarke.

“Everything?” Clarke frowned, “There’s not a lot to know”.

Bellamy's lips parted, but he decided against revealing another secret to Clarke, instead he nodded back slowly.

“It’s okay you told O. So please don’t apologise for it” He muttered reassuringly.

“You won’t be so understanding when she finds you…” Clarke paused.

“Why?” Bellamy asked, fearful of his little sisters wrath.

“She’s really pissed, but only at you… I tried to tell her Bell. I really did, but- she wants your head on a stick” Clarke delivered the bad news, with an unforgivable smile on her face.

Bellamy groaned, not wanting to imagine the impending meeting with his sister. “Great”.

“You sure you want to listen to her voicemail now?” Clarke asked, her outstretched palm offering him his phone back. 

“Uh- I think I will, just so I know in advance what my cause of death will be” He snorted sheepishly.

He took the phone from Clarke, being mindful to turn the volume down as Octavia’s angry voice filled the room.

“Bellamy fucking Blake… how dare you do this. To Clarke, to yourself, to _me_. After everything I said to you, you went against it anyway and fucking dragged Clarke dow- “.

Bellamy cut the voicemail off, shaking hands shoving his phone into his back pocket.

He stood up, awkwardly moving towards the door. “Sorry you had to hear that” He muttered, the whites of his eyes bulging at the seams in panic.

Clarke wasn't meant to hear that, any of it.

Clarke took it as her cue to leave as Bellamy inadvertently kicked her out the room.

"Clarke" He said, making her pause under the door frame.

Clarke hummed in response, not trusting herself to speak as she fought the urge to turn around to face him 

"I'm sorry" He sighed.

She nodded her head, not caring if he saw her acknowledgement or not before taking off down the stairs as quickly as she could.

Raven sat on the bottom step, she had to duck as quickly as possible before one of Clarke's shoes hit her in the face.

"Fuck Griffin, what's the rush?!" Raven groaned, picking herself up.

"We're leaving, he doesn't know where O is" Clarke snapped, grabbing Raven's hand firmly as she vacated the Blake house as quickly as possible.

Unbeknown to the two of them, Gina hid behind one of the doors, tablet in hand showing a broken Bellamy hunched over on their bed.

A smirk of satisfaction overcame her face, she pleased to say the least. The further Clarke stayed away, the better.

Gina was happy about how Clarke and Bellamy’s chat had gone, it had somewhat exceeded her expectations.

She was however, dangerously unhappy with Octavia’s betrayal, and for that Octavia would be punished.

Down below in the basement, a dehydrated Octavia tried to call for help. But her throat was so sore, each failed attempted at a scream left her tongue writhing in pain.

She tried to create saliva, but the basement was cold and her mouth couldn’t physically gather any form of liquid.

She sighed in defeat, figuring this was Gina’s way of tormenting her.

Holding her hostage in her own basement, not preventing her from calling out for help, yet denying her the right to water so that the cold nights air would make her mouth dry and bitter.

The scenario of being able to yell for help, but not _physically_ being able to yell for help.

She hated Gina, but she **hated her brother more**.

After all, it was his fault she was here in the first place. 

His fault that Gina was in their lives, his fault Gina was a psycho bitch, his fault that he and Clarke kissed... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm SO sorry for my delayed update. I'm currently inbetween chapters at the moment. There aren't many left to go:(((  
> Yes, Gina kidnapping Octavia and holding her hostage in the basement may seem far fetched, but it's a fic, it's meant to be over the top goddammit.  
> As always, kudos is appreciated.  
> PLEASE LEAVE ME SOME COMMENTS, I HONESTLY LOVE READING THEM :))))))))


	18. Chapter 18

It had been 7 days, 6 hours and 42 minutes since Octavia was last seen by Clarke.

It was the last time in fact that she’d been seen by _anyone._

So much, yet so little had happened. Each day was just a repeat of the previous one.

Bellamy wakes up, head shooting up fast from the softness of his scrunched-up pillows.

He checks his phone, hoping to see a text, a missed call anything. Sighing when he finds nothing.

His zombie like body walking downstairs to the door where the local paper is hanging halfway through his letter box.

He takes it out, reading it methodically, searching for a hidden message or the appearance of the secret code he taught Octavia when she was little.

It's stupid and he _knows_ it, the chances of him ever finding a secret message is nil to one. But it doesn't deter him away from checking every morning.

Maybe it's his coping mechanism, preoccupying his mind enough to not dwell on the chaos going on in real time.

Millers Dad had called into the Blake’s as soon as a missing persons file had been made as per the request of her older brother who, as each second passed of not knowing his sister’s whereabouts, grew more and more frenzied.

His voice was hoarse for repeatedly screaming her name out in the street, his palms were sore from smacking the screen in the sheriff’s office.

**“She’s been gone nearly a day” He shouted, desperate eyes looking through the glass.**

**The women behind the counter sighed, knowing she’d have to repeat the same sentence that she’d already been saying for the last four hours that Bellamy had been there for.**

**“Sir, we _cannot_  file a missing person’s report until she’s been missing for at least 24 hours. I’m sorry, I wish I could do more. But at this moment in time… I can’t”.**

**Bellamy filled out the forms that the women had given him prematurely, and at precisely 24 hours of Octavia last being seen, he thrusted the forms through the glass.**

**Sighing of relief, when his request finally wasn’t over ruled.**

“Mr Miller” Bellamy muttered, time standing still. 

Heart still clinging onto hope that Octavia had been found safe. So he could take down the posters lining his street and the surrounding streets of his sister’s face.

“Bellamy, I’ve only just heard. I’ve put in an order for me to oversee this case, I feel that it’s the right thing to do” Mr Miller said, his eyes unforgivable circles of pity.

But Bellamy didn’t  _want_  or  _need_  anybody’s pity.

Because pity meant something bad had happened and he _refused_ to believe that anything bad had happened to his sister.

He just knew, deep down in his gut that she was okay, alive. Where ever that may be was still unknown, but he knew.

He just knew she was okay, she **had** to be.

“Thank you, sir. I appreciate it” Bellamy nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat when his eyes landed on his sisters face, tacked against the tree across the street.

Mr Miller bid Bellamy farewell, wrapping him up in a comforting hug.

“We’ll find her son, I promise you that. Me and Nate won’t let this be forgotten about” He whispered meaningfully into Bellamy’s ear.

Bellamy nodded back slowly, believing with every fibre of his being that Mr Miller would do just that.

He’d find Octavia and bring her home.

* * *

 

Clarke had spent the ninth day of Octavia’s disappearance in a trance, moving robotically from one store to the next, thrusting a couple of posters in their faces and asking them to stick them up.

All of the staff agreed to do so, some offering their support in joining the nightly searches around the neighbourhood.

Everyone embraced the loss of a young girl and all were willing to do their part in helping to reunite Octavia with her family.

All except for  _one_ , a snotty middle-aged woman, who at first communication with Clarke refused to hang them up.

She described them as ‘ _distasteful looking posters’_  and they would ‘ _ruin her shop window’_.

Clarke however, ignored her response leaving two posters on top of the counter, before turning quickly on her heels.

But when Clarke heard the crinkle of the posters being screwed up in the women’s bone-idle hands, and then thrown into the trash, Clarke’s robotic demeanour soon changed.

She lunged angrily towards the women, who for the first time showed some kind of emotion through her botox abused face.

Eyes wide in fear as Clarke’s arm pushed her forcefully against the wall.

“You  _will_  pick those fucking posters up, and you  _will_  put them up in your shop” Clarke demanded, her elbow digging into the women’s collar bone.

Before Clarke knew it, she was in a communal cell at Arkadia’s Sheriff Office.

They’d tried to contact her Mom, but unluckily for Clarke, Abby had left that very morning and was away for a month in the UK, meaning no one was coming to bail her out.

After her third hour of tossing her head back and sighing, she gave in, asking the guard on duty to call the number she’d written down.

It was only because she was a  _Griffin_ , that she was allowed a second call and Clarke was never one to use her family name in order to get somewhere.

But she undoubtedly knew this time she had  _no_  other choice.

Before long, a withdrawn Bellamy bailed her out, his eyes scolding her from the second she came into his view.

“I’ve already got someone I care about missing, I’d appreciate you staying out of trouble Clarke”.

His sarcasm was spiteful, his tone however still radiated warmth and Clarke merely buckled herself in silently as a response.

“What happened?” Bellamy asked once they stopped at a red light, tired eyes glancing sideways at her.

Clarke sighed, knowing telling him the truth behind her ‘ _assault on a good woman of the community’_  would only hurt him more.

So she did the kindest thing she could and lied.

“She wouldn’t book me in for a hair appointment, I don’t know what came over me… I just flipped” Clarke lied, keeping her low gaze fixated on the road ahead.

“Oh, right” Bellamy replied, Clarke’s confession confusing him into a stunned silence.

He pulled up outside his house, a gush of window caused one of the posters to tear off the tree in a frenzy.

It landed on his window screen, Clarke unbuckled herself slowly, before leaning back into the chair when her eyes fell upon it.

“I miss her” She admitted as she stared at her best friend’s face, not caring if it hurt Bellamy to talk about it.

_Because she was hurting every second too._

“So do I. She’ll be home before you know it. I can feel it Clarke” He smiled hopefully, and Clarke did what any decent person would do, she reassuringly smiled back.

She didn’t share her doubts with him, she knew he was in the denial stage.

A small town like this doesn’t have a lot happening, the fact that Octavia had gone missing and not  _one_  person had seen or heard a damn thing, only pointed to the obvious.

Something bad, seriously bad had happened to her best friend.

A delicate tap of knuckles against Bellamy's side window alerted them both to Gina.

She too, was massively affected by Octavia's disappearance and spent many nights alongside Bellamy searching for his sister.

She'd even reached out to Clarke offering her a shoulder to cry on when she didn’t want to make the wound deeper on Bellamy’s heart.

Clarke could see she truly cared for Octavia, so she put her past infidelity with Bellamy and the guilt she still held about that night to one side.

She became, dare she say it... friends with Gina. In some obscure, sad, weird and slightly wonderful way.

People do say, tragedies bring people together, she just hoped this tragedy would be short lived, resolved when Octavia would be reunited with them all.

Bellamy acknowledged Gina with a subtle nod, her conspicuous eyes glanced at Clarke before she rigidly nodded back.

Clarke started to clamber out of the car, her hand holding the door open as she paused.

"Hey Bell. Thanks for bailing me out... I owe you one".

Bellamy shrugged, rebuffing Clarke's gratitude, as he knows she would have done the same for him.

"It's nothing..." He shrugged modestly.

Clarke pushed lightly on the door to close it, but Bellamy reached out, gesturing for her to wait. 

"Don't get in trouble again..." He asked, his stare firm, eyes dark as he held her gaze "Please".

She saluted him sarcastically, making his lips tug upwards into a charismatic smile.

_It felt good to see him smile._

She bid him goodnight, trailing up the two flights of stairs to her front door.

Once she’d closed the door behind her, the act disappeared, and she sat head buried into her knees, wishing this nightmare would be over.

She cried a little, wondering around the house in hope of distracting herself enough to actually fall asleep that night.

She dialled Raven, asking when she’d be back home.

“I’m just leaving the homeless shelter now, be home in ten” Raven said, tiredness eating away at her voice.

Another long day at the homeless shelter, another day that had passed and she hadn’t seen Octavia there.

* * *

By the 10th day, emotions were running high. The police had no leads, no sightings or CCTV of Octavia.

There was nothing, just complete radio silence.

Raven had moved into the Griffins, both girls taking time out of college to focus on finding Octavia.

The Griffin house was huge, at times too big, but at others it was the perfect size to cry in one room and thankfully not be heard in another.

They kept each other on the right track, being the driving force behind one another’s hope.

They needed it, they needed each other.

So, one night when Clarke made a pass at Raven, Raven didn’t even hesitate to kiss her back.

Clarke's hesitant hands eventually growing more confident as they cupped Ravens cheeks, fingers trailing absentmindedly over her defined jawline.

Their kisses were wet, lined with the salty tears falling from their eyes.

At first, they both tried to ignore each other’s low muffled sobs that escaped every few seconds when their lips weren’t touching.

Before long, it became impossible to ignore.

Clarke reluctantly pulled away, met with Raven’s unreadable eyes, her face aghast as her trembling fingers touched her bottom lip.

“I…” Raven started, but even she couldn’t find the words to speak.

Clarke shook her head, brushing it off like it was nothing.

“It’s okay… It’s been a shitty day, on top of a shitty week. People do weird things when shit happens” Clarke reasoned, trying to soften the embarrassment on Raven’s face.

Raven nodded understandingly before departing off the couch, taking off much more quickly up the stairs to her room.

Clarke tried to not take offence, it was just a kiss… or ten.

She sat in the comfort of her own presence, reflecting on her lustful few minutes with Raven, and then the dire situation which had led them to that very moment.

She stuffed her feet into her boots that lay lopsided by the door, they were worn, the soles thinning more and more each day as she knocked on doors and put up posters.

She grabbed her phone off the side, gently slipping her headphones in as a way of escaping.

The low beats of her favourite playlist overcame her senses, pushing aside the negative thoughts, that had been circling since the day she'd unknowingly laid eyes on Octavia for the last time.

Clarke walked down the length of the street, one-foot in front of the other until she reached the deserted lake.

She skimmed a pebble across the calm waters, her eyes following the ripples as they spread, brimming the waterline she stood inches from.

“Where the hell are you Octavia” She whispered, loudly enough to hear her voice over the music.

She sighed when she didn’t get a response, even though deep down she knew she wouldn’t have got one.

She was worn out, like her boots. She was so fucking tired of going out each and every day, to the same shops, same houses, just different neighbourhoods.

Sick of being met with the same answers. She wanted to give up, call it a day and accept Octavia was gone and clearly didn’t want to be found.

That’s what she’d convinced herself had happened anyway.

That Octavia had ran away, too angry at her brother for kissing her best friend. Incomprehensible of ever forgiving him for betraying her like that.

It was a shitty reason, but it had conditioned Clarke into thinking Octavia was alive, unhurt and had willingly disappeared off the face of the earth.

Rather than the more believable argument that she’s hurt alone somewhere or even _dead_.

Clarke felt vibrations under foot, the rocks lining the edge of the lake began to move. She discreetly muted her song, holding in a breath so she could listen more closely.

Someone was behind her, she could _feel_ their eyes burning on the back of her jacket, the heat creeping up the back of her jacket to her neck.

It was chilling to say the least.

Clarke was thankful it was a clear night, the moonlight highlighting the shadow behind her. It moved slowly, as their hand outstretched towards her.

This is it she thought.

They’re going to take me like they took Octavia.

She was frozen on the spot, her brain urging at her to move, turn around, pick up a brick, something, _anything._

But she was paralysed by fear, by the potential horrors that could unfold and she stood there, as still as could be, watching and waiting.

The hand grew closer and closer to her shadow; closer to her.

“Clarke…” They, or should she say  _he_  called.

She turned quickly, a strangled scream stuck in her tightened throat, her heart beat racing until she noticed it wasn’t a stranger.

It was Bellamy.

“Sorry” He grimaced, guiltily placing a hand on her shoulder “I hope I didn’t scare you”.

Clarke shook her head unconvincingly, her eyes still wide as she removed her ear buds, stuffing them into her pocket.

"You don't mind if I join you?" He asked, feeling the urge to peel his eyes away from the pained expression on her face.

"No, not at all. It's a free country Bellamy" She reminded him, a tinge of sarcasm within her tone.

Clarke angled back around to face the lake, body still rattled by what had just happened.

Bellamy moved closer, stopping just short of her shoulders. If he took one more step, they'd be touching and he refrained himself from leaning into her body, like they'd done countless times before.

"I just had to get some air" He informed her after two long minutes of silence.

He acknowledged Clarke's hum of agreement, remembering all of a sudden how similar they were.

 _Two_ _scrap_ _pieces_ _of_ _cloth_ _from_ _the_ _same_ _sheet_ his Mom used to say.

He smiled fondly at the memory, tired eyes dropping height to look down at Clarke.

He nudged her side softly, her body swayed slightly, she looked up at him, one brow arched.

Her eyes were tired and bloodshot like his, her sad smile taunting him, her gaze faltering as her eyes began to water.

“Come here” He whispered faintly, opening his arm out for her to nuzzle into his side.

She hooked her left arm across his back, her head being welcomed by his body heat as she lent into his side.

“She’ll be back” Bellamy declared, the temperature dropping as his breath froze in the air.

He felt Clarke’s head nod slowly, chin digging into his side, but he didn’t care. She was close, safely buried into him and he couldn’t be more thankful that she was here when he had arrived.

“I won’t give up Bell” Clarke's declared, voice muffled against his chest.

He squeezed her arm comfortingly, “I know you won’t Clarke”.

Clarke eventually broke away from him, leaving the warmth of his body to wipe her eyes. Bellamy turned the other way, giving her time to collect herself.

Clarke always found it so easy to get lost in the chocolate swirls of his eyes, but tonight all she saw where the haunted whites of them. They were too tired, too exhausted to shine like they used to.

She hoped they'd find the light again, she needed them too.

He cleared his throat, the view of the lake and the moon reflecting off him reminded him of all too familiar memories.

Nights spent alone with Clarke at the edge. Their unspoken way of knowing when the other was there, and they needed them there too.

Maybe it was the quietness of the lake, that made the voices in his head start to spew their tales of Octavia and the horrific things that were, or _had_ happened to her.

It clouded his vision of the peaceful waters and blocked out Clarke's delicate slow breaths.

She touched his arm, bringing him back from the brink of despair, his eyes were haunted as they glared at Clarke.

She touched his cheek, the intimate gesture slowly his heart rate down to a normal pace.

"Thank you" He chocked, not afraid for his vulnerability to show.

She nodded understandingly, never opening her mouth to speak. Her eyes spoke for her, the crushed blue icicles were melting.

He wondered how many times Clarke had wished someone had reached for her, wondered how many times they hadn't.

Her eyes were full of understanding, reminding him he wasn't alone in this.

What he felt, she felt too. It was sad, but beautifully poetic and he had to pry his eyes away from hers.

He wasn't doing this, not now.

“Want to walk home together?” She asked timidly, the cold air beginning to get the better of her and her thin coat.

“Of course,” Bellamy replied, chivalrously offering her his arm, which she quickly linked with her own.

It had been awhile since they’d been alone together. Both vulnerable, both suffering but yet neither one of them had felt as at peace as they did right now; with each other.

The walked quietly up towards the places they each called home, they didn’t speak until they stopped outside the Griffin’s house.

“Goodnight Bellamy”.

They held each other’s gaze, until Clarke saw movement from Bellamy’s bedroom window, prompting her to make the first move.

“You better go inside, I bet Gina’s worried” She lied.

He frowned at first, rejection clear in the lines surrounding his eyes. But he knew Clarke was right, Gina probably  _was_  worried.

He acknowledged her point with a short nod, jogging across the street until he reached his driveway.

When he turned around, Clarke had already made it safely inside, her door closing as he turned back around in disappointment.

The next morning Bellamy awoke, his body relishing in the joy of sleeping a whole night through.

He checked his phone, it was 1pm. He groaned, his panic filled body sprinting around the room as quickly as possible.

What if he’s missed a development in Octavia’s case?

Angry and annoyed, he raced down the stairs, relieved to not find Mr Miller there.

But disappointed he wasn’t; as that meant no new leads.

Gina was in the kitchen pouring coffee when Bellamy entered.

“Morning sleepy head” Gina plagued.

“Late night was it?” She asked innocently, but inside she knew exactly where he’d been and exactly who he’d been there with.

She caught Bellamy off guard with her question, “Uh- Yeah. I went for a walk. Sorry… I didn’t want to wake you”.

She shook her head, “It’s fine. Here have some coffee”.

She handed him his favourite mug before gesturing for him to sit. He did so, raising an eyebrow at her questionable gaze.

“I need to tell you something” Gina admitted, taking a sip of coffee.

“I had a call early this morning… I’ve been offered a job. A once in a lifetime job” She kept her face painstakingly neutral, she didn't want to blow her cover.

Bellamy swallowed… was this going where he thought it was going?

“It’s to work for this big PR company in New York a block away from the Empire State Building, it’s an amazing opportunity… but”.

Bellamy frowned, placing his mug back on the table “But?”.

“But I won’t take it. Not now, not with everything” Gina dismissed his question.

Bellamy’s heart tore at the thought of stopping her from chasing her dreams.

“Go” He said after a beat.

Gina spluttered, coffee spraying across the table “What?!”.

“I want you to go...” Bellamy repeatedly affirmatively.

“In fact, I  _need_  you to go. To live. To achieve. I don’t want to drag you down Gina” His eyes broke away from hers bitterly.

 He knew it would be so shamelessly selfish for him to even contemplate asking her to stay with him.

“You want me to go?” Gina asked, voice growing small in disappointment.

Bellamy wondered if she wanted him to say no, wondering if she had already turned the job down.

“Yes, I do. I  _want_ you to make something for yourself Gina. For me, please. Don’t throw this away” he begged, hands intertwining with hers.

Gina sighed, her frown melting from the loving gesture.

But inside she was screaming, he hadn’t given her the answer she had planned he would give.

Within 24 hours, she’d packed a bag and booked her ‘flight’. Bellamy was overwhelmed by how quickly everything had evolved.

“I’ll call you when I land” she promised, as she wheeled her suitcase out the door.

He nodded, “I love you“.

Gina smiled back, it was bright and wide, everything he loved about her.

But when he shut the door on his girlfriend, not knowing when he’d next see her, he felt nothing.

He blamed it on circumstances he was surrounded in, but deep down he knew.

He just didn’t feel it anymore. Maybe he never had?

He’d been so hell bent on trying to get Clarke out of his head, he’d forced himself to love something… someone else.

That night however as Bellamy got used to having the bed to himself, Gina had left him a note on the bedside table.

_Take two of these and you’ll sleep like a baby._

_Love you, sweet dreams._

_G x_

He filled a glass with water, sinking back into the duvet. He grabbed the two loose pills off the side.

Not even thinking before placing them inside his mouth and swilling them down with the water.

Unbeknown to Bellamy, Gina had given him two highly strong sleeping tablets that will probably knock him out for up to 24 hours.

She snuck back inside the house, making her way down to the basement where she held the younger Blake.

Octavia’s eyes opened, her vision was blurred and she blinked repeatedly to regain her focus.

She had a crick in her neck, she tried to roll it out but her whole body ached from the position it had been strapped to the chair in.

Her bum was numb, pins and needles over sensitising her body. It must have been her sixth sense that made her wake when she did, as the door locks across the side of the room began to move.

It opened to reveal a very awake Gina, Octavia was confused, it was the middle of the night.

She spun around, holding a tray filled with Bellamy’s iconic ‘sorry I fucked up breakfast’.

Octavia knew this whole thing was a game to Gina, but she was for once relieved to see her.

Gina set the tray on the table, she was still quiet and Octavia couldn’t work out if Gina’s silence was a good or bad thing.

“Coffee?” Gina asked.

Octavia’s mouth was stilled gagged, she nodded cautiously in response.

Gina poured Octavia a coffee, she glanced at her bound arms and feeling generous she dug out the blade from her back pocket.

Gina saw Octavia’s eyes go wide in fear, “Calm down O. It’s not what you think” Gina reassured her.

She walked behind Octavia, cutting the cable ties off, freeing her wrists, before removing the gag from between her dried lips.

Octavia was stunned into silence, so taken aback by the gesture and prematurely thinking her time in the basement was over.

“Tuck in… I made your favourite” Gina smiled, inviting Octavia to eat the breakfast that she’d prepared especially for her.

“Thank you” Octavia replied, eyes fleeting from one plate to the next, overwhelmed by it all.

Gina smirked, lapping up Octavia’s gratitude while it lasted.

As Octavia tucked into her fourth pancake, she built up the courage to ask a question that had been hanging on the edge of her tongue.

“Gina… Why have you made me a breakfast in the middle of the night?”.

Gina’s eyes rolled at the question, “Just a treat O”.

Octavia didn’t speak again, taking Gina’s pursed lips as her one and only warning to eat and not ask questions.

After a while, Octavia’s right arm began to feel increasingly heavy, making it difficult to move.

At first, she blamed it on her arms being tied behind her back for so long, but then her left leg started to go numb.

She caught Gina’s calculating eye and suddenly it all made sense.

“What have you done?!” Octavia shuddered, her body fighting against the last remaining tie around her chest.

Gina laughed smugly, “The quicker your heart rate becomes, the quicker it knocks you out Octavia".

Tears brimmed the younger Blake's eyes as it dawned on her something bad was about to happen.

She felt herself begin to lose consciousness, déjà vu hit her square in the face.

It felt like last time only this time her whole body ached and not just the back of her head.

Gina prodded Octavia with the blunt side of her knife, when she was convinced Octavia was out for good she untied her unconscious, limp body slinging it over her shoulder as she headed towards the stairs.

She opened the front door discreetly, being cautious to not wake the neighbours as she hadn’t gone to the extreme lengths of sedating them too.

 _Although_ _it_ _had_ _crossed_ _her_ _mind_.

Once she was confident it was clear, she dragged Octavia’s body out the front, placing her gently into the boot of her car.

She stroked the hair out of Octavia's face, feeling guilty for a split second that she'd had to involve her this way.

But she reminded herself, this _was_ the only way.

She walked briskly back over to the front door, locking it quickly,trying to maintain her composure.

She glanced over her shoulder, knowing she hadn’t gotten away with it _just_ yet.

She snuck into her car, groaning at the old car engine's tendency to be an attention seeking whore with it's loud chugging noise as it spurred itself into action .

She glanced both ways again, the coast still luckily clear as she drove off into the night.

Across the street, a light sleeping Clarke heard Gina’s engine rattling, her intrigued eyes peering through the gap in her blinds. .

She glanced to the clock on her night stand, it was 3.20am, what the fuck was Gina doing at this time.

Once Gina’s tail light had left Clarke’s view, she shrugged, willingly clambering back into the comfort of her warm sheets.

_Not knowing, that her best friend was in that very same car._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where is Gina taking O?!  
> Also Princess Mechanic... yassssss.  
> I know Bellarke isn't canon yet - but guys I promise they are in love w eachother, their just too stupid to figure it out.  
> They will be canon by the end, so please ride this out with me.


End file.
